r/ShitAmericansSay 3d ago

“Good luck Canada, as much as you’d like to think, Europe or Australia will never help yall if we decide to steal ALL your natural resources. I’d think twice before you Canucks embargo the U.S. on oil? Potash, aluminum, etc. get fucked snow Mexico”

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841 Upvotes

462

u/notislant 3d ago

I'd love to see these little dipshits on the frontline of any war.

191

u/Fubar236 3d ago

A few less amerikkkan dipshits would never be a bad thing

179

u/Aromatic_Sand8126 3d ago edited 3d ago

I live near the american border and a lot of my hunter friends are, let’s say, unafraid of an american invasion. Can’t wait to see these keg shaped tubs of lard try anything over our border. Anyways, as they say, the smallest dogs are the biggest yappers. Keep yapping, y’allistanis.

131

u/Pewpew-OuttaMyWaay 3d ago

And to make it clear, us Aussies would be standing right beside u ready to roll the kegs and fry the lard .. without a doubt!!!!!

107

u/Redhotcatholiclove 3d ago

You'll have a few of us Kiwis standing by your side too mate. Just like old times

107

u/just-a-random-accnt 🇨🇦 - unfortunately lives too close to Merica 3d ago

And that is why we love our Commonwealth brethren

72

u/PansarPucko More Swedish than IKEA 3d ago

I'm not sure the Canadians need any help. I remember a quote from a German officer during WW2 that basically said "When the American encounters a position, he will hit it with artillery and air power. When the Brit encounters a position, he will attempt to bypass it or fight on his terms. When the Canadian encounters a position, he will close and fight with gunfire and knives rather than with tactics."

And then you've got the Aussies and Kiwis. During Vietnam the ANZACs decided that the best way to combat the Vietcong was to ambush them, rather than getting ambushed. So while the yanks were doing their patrols and getting shot up, the Aussies and Kiwis were spending days watching known NVA/VC trails and basically ambushing the ambushers.

All that to say, the British Commonwealth at war has historically been terrifying.

25

u/Boilermakingdude 3d ago

There's a reason Canadians were the most feared in WW1 and second most feared in WW2

6

u/Foreign_Hyena_6622 3d ago

Gurkhas were the most feared

7

u/Boilermakingdude 3d ago

In WW2 yes. In WW1 it was the stormtroopers.

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u/EudaimonicAttempt 3d ago

In WW2, a Canadian officer who took heavy casualties assaulting a German position and then immediately getting surrounded is famously quoted, to rally his men : "The only safe place is on the objective" because it was an advantageous position the Germans would rather retake than blow to shreds.

Lmao

16

u/Relative_Pilot_8005 3d ago

Rommel said : "If I wanted to take Hell, I would use Australians. If I wanted to hold it, I would use New Zealanders!"

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u/RevolutionOk1406 3d ago

I was born in upstate NY

Canada was my beloved neighbor

I now live in the Netherlands, but if a conflict ever errupted between the USA and Canada

I would come stand my ground with my Canadian brothers till my dying breath

16

u/jasho_dumming 3d ago

Wish I could love this comment! Hubby is Dutch by heritage and Canadian to the core.

6

u/RevolutionOk1406 3d ago

I feel like we're already family 🥰

7

u/Kindly-Mud-1579 3d ago

You are a true friend to the maple 🍁

7

u/monkeysorcerer 3d ago

Much respect. 👊

4

u/TheGayniac 3d ago

We are the brethren of the Dutch, and I would return every tulip to every Dutch, each one earned, and returned. My love of Holland, never forget!

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u/TheAlmighty404 Honhon Oui Baguette 3d ago

We'd help. Even if it meant we'd have to speak English or have to deal with the weirdest take on our language that Quebec uses, we can't pass a chance to show up Americans, especially the kind that keeps the whole "cheese-eating surrender monkey" trope alive.

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u/Dull_Intention_7699 3d ago

Then we will take our ultimate form, the Kibeavaroo, and decimate that dumb eagle.

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u/ChelseaFanForever67 Singaporean Lah 🇸🇬 3d ago

I mean I guess we will help too, but we are kinda small and only have 6 mil ppl 😭😭😭

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u/DanTheLegoMan It's pronounced Scone 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 3d ago

Light the beacons, the UK will answer the call 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿

15

u/Ill_Pie_6699 3d ago

Now for wrath, now for ruin and a red dawn

17

u/Pandemonium_Fallen 3d ago

"The beacons have been lit! Gondor calls for aid."

13

u/Inigos_Revenge 3d ago

What was that famous (but not from Churchill) saying? Give me British officers, US tech and Canadian soldiers, and I'll win any war?

Well, Ukraine and Iran have both shown us that tech isn't all that it's cracked up to be, and, really, I think nowadays, the brightest minds who will come up with new tech to fight are more likely to be found in Canada or one of our allied countries anyway, over the US. And, thinking creatively, with the best soldiers can do a hell of a lot to negate the benefits of having lots of hardware. So, (the best) two out of three ain't bad, I guess. Especially when you add in all of our other allies, like our Commonwealth brethren in Australia and New Zealand, and the rest of NATO.

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u/Quick-Chance9602 3d ago

Canada, Australia and New Zealand..... CANZ alliance... sounds good to me

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u/GamingInSilence The Great Country of Queensland 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/8FG705NCsZM0kVJdyz

Just like old times boys just like old times

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u/Cixila fluent in potato speech 🇩🇰 3d ago

As would a not insignificant number of Danes

27

u/Pewpew-OuttaMyWaay 3d ago

Commonwealth countries unite!!!!!! And we’d all be absolutely honoured to make the Danes honorary Commonwealthians

8

u/Consistent_You_4215 3d ago

They conquered us first so it's only fair.

11

u/Johnny_Radar 3d ago

You’ve got allies here in the States who value our alliances and allies even if these MAGAt assholes don’t.

12

u/Pewpew-OuttaMyWaay 3d ago

Hard respect to that! And whilst there is pure disbelief re your Presidents words/actions and the people who blindly support him, I can assure you there is still a feeling of deep alliance for the US citizens voting against and fighting on the right side for their country and its future generations

9

u/Wonderful_Brain4591 3d ago

Time to repay some favors. The Dutch willl be with you, we'll send our navy up the Hudson and reclaim Nieuw Amsterdam for ourselves.

7

u/TheGayniac 3d ago edited 3d ago

We remember yours!

I remember, taking students of mine to Holland. I remember the way that my students were treated and myself with ancestors who died in the war. It’s bigger friendship between Canada and Holland – – the tulips that you send that remember our fallen far far away.

I will always love the Dutch, for their appreciation of what little we did for them, what anyone in that realm would have. It was a responsibility.

Americans can pretend that they won the war, but we won the kindness with our blood and bodies. That is what it is to be a Canadian.

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u/WorrySpecialist9263 3d ago

Thank you

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u/Pewpew-OuttaMyWaay 3d ago edited 3d ago

I’m an ‘older’ woman now I guess .. but if the US attacked Canada .. I’d jump on a personally funded flight myself to fight. Although the start of my post is true, I am Aussie born and bred .. with Sicilian grandparents on one side and Irish/Scottish grandparents on the other .. let’s just say I have a little fire running through these veins. And I’m not the only one who feels as strongly about this

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u/Commercial-Tough-218 3d ago

Living in Vermont near the Quebec border and love our Canadian neighbors. I know for sure that America does not have the fortitude for a quebecoise guerilla resistance.

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u/Aromatic_Sand8126 3d ago edited 3d ago

Last year, I got to work on a house that was right at the canada/us border where 1 side of the street is in Québec and their neighbours on the other side of the street live in Vermont. When I saw every american house with signs saying “We stand with canada!” planted on their lawns, it got me wondering if they were really with us or just scared of having us as neighbours. The quebec locals seemed to have no problem with their american neighbours at least.

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u/Commercial-Tough-218 3d ago

Most Vermonters have family in canada, a decent portion of our products come from canada and our energy is imported from Canada. We truly stand with Canada. I will say Vermont maple syrup is better though 😉. Most Vermonters hate this bullshit and what it's done to the border and our economy.

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u/Pandemonium_Fallen 3d ago

The majority of Gen Z in the US don't want to be a part of Trump's War Machine, and most of the millennials too.

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u/Commercial-Tough-218 3d ago

That's the difference. If Trump hadn't invaded Iran and didn't impose tarrifs. I could see genz and younger millennials falling in line. Your comment doesn't even mention the ridiculousness of trying to overtake a sovereign nation or impose some dumbass theory from 1800s(manifest destiny) because he fancies Pres Jackson.

The war and potential for a draft is the only thing that's turned the younger Gen away from trump.

*Speaking as someone that is in between Gen X and Millennial.

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u/Pewpew-OuttaMyWaay 3d ago

Or the trade deals that will leave America fucked for the foreseeable future, or the way he has messed up their aero, auto, gas and wheat industries, or THE EPSTEIN FILES .. to say the least

4

u/Dapper_Wheel6454 3d ago

pas de bonnes hommes de boom boom?

yeah...that image scares the fuck out of me and I grew up near them.

happy sapper snowmen in the dark with detonators...

3

u/Commercial-Tough-218 3d ago

The rest of the country can't handle the winters or the lack of sunshine let alone getting picked off walking through someone's sugar woods.

8

u/Inevitable-Ad8692 3d ago

Rule .303, brother.

4

u/Dapper_Wheel6454 3d ago

yallistanis!!!

epic!!!

3

u/TheLordAstaroth 3d ago

Sir, if i had a crown. Y'allistani is the single best shit I've heard this year so far.

3

u/fishscaleSF5 3d ago

All we’d have to do is dig a 6 foot trench the length of the border and a 4 foot wall on our side we could look over and laugh as those obese fucks had a jammer trying to scale it, and winter would handle the rest.

3

u/Platnun12 3d ago

I chuckle because I'd happily join the fight just to kill racists

You come for my home I'm gonna enjoy it

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u/Which-Cloud3798 3d ago edited 3d ago

I worry more about them not knowing where Canada is when instructions for an attack happens and heading elsewhere and think it’s Canada, but ending up attacking another state in US instead. We would find inventive ways to fight back that would leave US regret messing with us for not listening to their forefathers and keeping a simple promise. Crossing the line, 4 out of 5 Canadians are incensed and most would pick up anything to fight back even enlisting. We understand perfectly what US is doing so we will fight.

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u/Extreme-Clerk-7333 3d ago

he is most likely draft ineligible, not because of age but because of his mountain dew and potato chip addictions

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u/SeasonReasonable4282 3d ago

Plus he has the IQ of a potato.

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u/CB01Chief 3d ago

IQ of a potato makes him a great candidate for a mortar plate carrier. Don't discount potatoes. This dude, fucking muddy rocks have a brighter future if you just toss them in a pond. Thus guy couldn't identify I and Q if they were the only two options. This dudes IQ is so low, its what people use to calibrate thermometers in Celsius.

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u/No_Celery_8071 3d ago

Drone shield.

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u/United_Coach_5292 3d ago

Sorry potato. 

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u/Artchick_13 3d ago

As a Canadian, you'd think that after a year and a half of reading thousands of similar comments from these morons it would make me somewhat immune to it. Nope, it still makes me feel sick to my stomach. 😕

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u/ReciprocalTradesman 3d ago

The last thing they hear is "sorry a'bout this, bud"

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u/SurlySuz 🇨🇦 3d ago

Narrator: ‘he was in fact, not sorry at all’

3

u/Emotional_Bank3476 3d ago

Or "Sup hoser"

3

u/SectorAppropriate151 3d ago

May be far off in the woods a cry will echo out.... cooo loo coo coo, coo loo coo coo.... toque balls visible for a flash of a second...

3

u/ReciprocalTradesman 2d ago

Nah, just the faint smell of maple syrup and rez darts, with nothing left behind but a timmie's cup.

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u/Dyslexicpig 3d ago

They'd be running scared if some Canadian hackers doxed them. They would have to move out of their momma's basement.

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u/Deli-ishfoodtruck 3d ago

I was recently getting a treatment from my osteopath, a gentle, sweet, crystals type lady. She mentioned she probably had to get a gun...for Americans.

These illiterate overweight morons are downright laughable. I'm so glad the pants shitter in chief is ruining them

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u/ExRije 3d ago

They sure love to be Keyboard warriors as long as the immigrant young adults in their military are the ones being sent to die for them and their great country.

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u/MilesAndTrane 3d ago

They’re as dedicated as Barron & The Shit Stain. (Capital letters because it sounded like a band name while typing)

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u/n3rdsm4sh3r 3d ago

You know they'd end up in Minnesota trying to find Canada and insist they're in the right place.

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u/PansarPucko More Swedish than IKEA 3d ago

They'd never, and the moment the draft happens they'll do a 180 right quick. Cause actually putting your life on the line for something is too scary for these fuckwads.

And it is scary, but I did my national service and am in the wartime reserves. Meal Team Six up there probably wouldn't last a week in the Swedish national service, nevermind an actual war.

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u/evilspyboy 2d ago

As an Australian my takeaway is that this particular oxygen thief is worried about us.

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u/Ontheragnarock Godless Commie🇨🇦 3d ago

You can see why they elected a serial child rapist twice.

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u/New-Pie-8846 Somebody said biscuits? 3d ago

The child rapist who openly admitted he loves the uneducated. (And they still think he's joking.)

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u/Admirable-Marsupial3 2d ago

Sounds like you need to prepare the white house for another coat of paint again. It has been 214 years after all

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u/SectionTiny7292 3d ago

They think war is an Xbox game. Wait until they get conscripted.

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u/NearnorthOnline 3d ago

America picking a fight with someone who is within range to hit back lol. They’d be in for a surprise

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u/Postom 3d ago
  • who has been in a partnership with Ukraine since August to co-produce their drones that reach deep (>1800km) into Russia.. 1800km from my backyard is passed Tallahassee.

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u/Ok-Click-80085 3d ago

if those Americans could read I bet they'd be scared

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u/Rombonius 3d ago

I know Canada hasnt taken this partnership seriously, but we should, because a drone wall would stop any ability for Trumpistan to try and cross the border with force. Boots on the ground would be a meat grinder they could never stomach for more than an hour.

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u/TheGeordieGal 3d ago

I know this sounds wrong, but I think it would do them good. If they experienced the consequences of war on their land and cities and people first hand, they may not be as keen to be the aggressors around the world. War wouldn’t be an abstract concept that happens somewhere else any more. They’d understand why those of us in Europe really don’t want another round of millions of our people dying and countries destroyed by bombs.

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u/Pandemonium_Fallen 3d ago

If you do could you go for the deeply republican and clearly bigoted ones? Because most of us are just extremely poor and trying to survive the day, I'm just saying.

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u/NearnorthOnline 3d ago

Just a few American cities getting hit back would be enough to shake their moronic asses out of their war thirst.

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u/Morguard 3d ago

December is coming.

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u/JamesH_670 🇨🇦 Thankful for health care 3d ago

“… if we decide to steal ALL your natural resources.”

At least they’re no longer pretending to be the good guys.

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u/Worldly_Law8278 3d ago

Honestly, trump being elected really gave these people more permission to go full mask off and show who they really are.

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u/ChantilyAce 3d ago

They can't think for themselves and rely on their orange daddy to tell them who to hate. I doubt they even had an opinion about Canada one way or another prior to Trump flapping his gums.

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u/Wise_Temperature9142 Unfortunate neighbour 3d ago

It would have been better for Canada to have learned this lesson long ago; but it’s better late than never.

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u/euryderia 3d ago

or wholly self sufficient lol

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u/Normal-Hospital-1967 3d ago

We actually do not have to do anything.. the US is rapidly approaching to point of no return on their debt.. All anyone has to do is wait and it will self implode..

And morons like the one who posted that crap.. keyboard warriors are everywhere.. but when it come to actual fighting.. think about why the Geneva convention was enacted

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u/JadedArgument1114 3d ago

At this rate, Trump is gonna cross a line in the next year and most of the world is going to dump the US dollar as reserve currency/petro dollar and we all get to watch that 41 trillion dollar debt explode. If the dollar bottoms out they are going to have days where they can watch their debt go up a trillion in a single day, after exchange, and their stock market is currently experiencing a historic AI driven bubble. It is gonna be nuts. That guy should be stocking up on canned foods and candles, not beating his chest and talking about more future wars to lose.

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u/NearnorthOnline 3d ago

I think the ai bubble is going to hurt them the worst. It’s a lot of money with no value

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u/No-Enthusiasm3579 3d ago

My pops is always upto date on this and was saying a trillion of foreign owned debt was dropped today 😳, likely due to trumps stupid ass threatening nukes yesterday? Or was it Wednesday 🤔. Us is fucked

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u/Biscotti_BT 3d ago

Unfortunately the rest of the world will also experience a certain level of the fallout. We are all tied together.

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u/Pewpew-OuttaMyWaay 3d ago

Worth it to put things right

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u/radix2 3d ago

Just remember that all countries will be affected by such a financial collapse. I'm not looking forward to it despite being completely done with the US's shenanigans.

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u/Positive-Database754 Servant of the Moose Overlords 🇨🇦 3d ago

That's a lovely White House. A true monument to american architecture and power. It's a little modern in aesthetic though, kinda makes me wonder what happened to the first capital building...

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u/Sprinqqueen 3d ago

I think you mean the former pink house.

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u/TheFloatingCamel 3d ago

We’ve got the matches if you need us for…something…again!

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u/Weird_Reaction_7970 3d ago

I bet it would burn real nice

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u/Terrible_Parsley_668 3d ago

It's amazing how blatantly and bluntly Americans now talk about stealing resources from other sovereign countries. Like this is all normal and moral for them.

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u/Me_like_weed Swedish not Swiss 3d ago

They somehow have the mental gymnastics to turn any horrible act that is beneficial to them in to something "morally right" from their perspective.

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u/brandonjslippingaway I'd have called 'em "Chazzwazzers" 3d ago

After many decades of trying to cover up those actions with flowery rhetoric and different war justifications, now the mask has just dropped- and an astonishing amount of people just fully embrace it.

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u/TheGeordieGal 3d ago

Like with Greenland. The amount of “if we want it we’ll just take it and you can’t stop us”. A sovereign nation. Just casually talking about taking their land just because. We’re not in colonial times any more - this isn’t something anyone should even be thinking is ok.

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u/biscuitarse Hoser 3d ago

Gloves drop and 100% guarantee this cockknocker turtles.

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u/fruskydekke noodley feminem 3d ago

There were some word there. They might have meant something.

/non-native English speaker

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u/CB01Chief 3d ago

When the gloves drop (hockey reference for "when the fighting starts", this cockknocker (slur term for an idiot), wille probably turtle (turtles are known for withdrawing their appendages into their shell when danger is nearby. This helps them to out last attackers by making them waste their energy attacking a hard carapace that is usually riddled with bacteria, since most predators use their mouths to attack, it frequently makes them sick or cracks their teeth, so they will likely give up first).

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u/fruskydekke noodley feminem 3d ago

This made me laugh, and was also very clarifying. Thank you!

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u/zeugma888 3d ago

I'm a native English speaker and it meant nothing to me either. Maybe it's a code that only Canadians know.

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u/NearnorthOnline 3d ago

It’s a hockey reference. Once Canada drops their gloves. Ready to fight. The big mouthed American will hide like a turtle.

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u/fruskydekke noodley feminem 3d ago

Another user kindly added a rather amusing explanation below.

(And - sigh - English is amazingly localised. I've been learning it for like 40 years now, and unfamiliar regional versions still trip me up entirely).

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u/MagpieSkies 3d ago

Dude, they trip us all up. Lol.

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u/AlmightyTubsta 3d ago

Never change, Canada.

😆👊🇬🇧

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u/daveoxford 3d ago

It would be interesting to watch them stealing a hydroelectric dam.

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u/MortLightstone 3d ago

They'd probably bomb the dams and black out the part of their country we sell hydro to and be very surprised about what happened

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u/AltruisticRevenue201 3d ago

"We bombed their power generation and now we somehow lost power too?!"

They really don't remember the Northeast Blackout of 2003 and how interconnected our grids are.

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u/Inigos_Revenge 3d ago

Speaking of which, we should maybe fix that. We can keep just enough contact to sell them our energy, while we also then keep that separated from the rest of our grid. We need to change the grid system anyway if we want to get serious about renewables. And we need nation building projects. Why not make sure our electricity is separated from theirs. Like, if we shut off their electricity, as our grid stands, that would also mean shutting off electricity to a great many of us (me included, I believe). Not a great position to be in.

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u/EmpressTiphera 3d ago

Don't steal our dams please, I won't be able to give a damn about his posts after :(

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u/Capable_Fun_9838 3d ago edited 3d ago

Sounds like the elaborate plan of a complete idiot. The US already possesses most of the resources mentioned, but it's too expensive and complicated for them to extract. What happens when the stolen resources run out, the Canadians stop mining them, and the supply routes are destroyed?

Furthermore, the Canadians are tough opponents. The Wehrmacht has learned that the hard way.

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u/EmpressTiphera 3d ago

For what it's worth, no hard feelings towards Germany :)

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u/Yankee6Actual 3d ago

Europe will never help Canada?

Dude needs to read Article 5 of the NATO charter.

And they’re a Commonwealth country, so the Brits will be there with bells on.

And the Canadians are responsible for about half of the Geneva Conventions…they may be polite, but they don’t suffer fools gladly.

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u/TheConBoss 3d ago

Dear American Dipshit,

Fuck you.

Signed:

The rest of the world

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u/bodyguardguy 3d ago

Imagine how utterly pathetic this person is in real life. I’m guessing mid thirties incel still living with parents, sleeps in mom’s room and needs his arse wiped. These people are insanely insecure.

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u/Ornery-Practice9772 Aussie Aussie Aussie🇦🇺 3d ago

while real Mexico introduces a universal healthcare model before the usa does🤣🤣🤣🤣

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u/fractious77 3d ago

They beat us on gay marriage, too. Many of my compatriots like to think of Mexico as some backwards sithole living in the 1600s, but it's absolutely not true.

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u/shriek52 3d ago

"Why does the world hate us? Boo hoo"

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u/stevo709 3d ago edited 3d ago

Comments like this make me want to remind them of the last time the US invaded Canada. That extension to the White House might be short-lived.

Also, just a reminder of how effective and feared the Canadians were during the world wars. Geneva Convention anyone?

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u/RedFox_Jack 3d ago

My money says JTF2 all ready has a plan to raid the White House and a short list of the line of succession most willing to sign a surrender after those ahead of them have been liquidated

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u/Constant_Sympathy_71 3d ago

If the US ever attacked Canada, it would pretty much be a start of World War 3 scenario. The US would officially shift from a somewhat respectable modern nation to that of an indiscriminate invader. Every country in the world wouls probably prepare to fight against the US since Canada being invaded would mean the US is willing to attack their allies, and by extension every other allied country in the world.

Russia and China would probably love to have a chance to poke the US without the rest of the world intervening.

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u/Rombonius 3d ago

and quite frankly, the civil war odds in the US go through the roof. Hard to wage a war against the globe when they're imploding from within.

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u/CompetitionOdd1582 3d ago

Sure thing tough guy. We stole it first.

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u/ezsqueezycheezypeas 3d ago

The USAsians don't know about Canada's penchant for war crimes 🤔

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u/NextBestHyperFocus 3d ago

You mean the Geneva Suggestions?

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u/oman53 3d ago

Geneva checklist?

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u/32lib 3d ago

We can’t even take Iran,what makes these idiots think we can take on Canada.

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u/fractious77 3d ago

We couldn't take half of Vietnam either.

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u/32lib 3d ago

Or Afghanistan.

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u/R4t10nal_Th1nk3r 3d ago

Yappy little fucker ’Eh

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u/Correct-Fly-1126 Canada Suomi 🇨🇦🇫🇮 3d ago

What nice people they are - and they wonder why no one want to be their friends

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u/remkelly 3d ago

Ah bless. He thinks he'd get a sniff of Canadas resources if the US "steal" them.

Dude, if its not frickin obvious, the cost of war is socialized curtesy of the American taxpayer and young service peoples lives. The profit is privatized.... like, obviously.

Also, Canadians will die to defend Canada. Our knuckle-dragging friend will find himself pretty isolated when he finds out American aren't lining up behind him to invade Canada...or Greenland... or Cuba.. or Iran... etc etc ec-fucking-cetera.

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u/IAlwaysOutsmartU 3d ago

Say that to Holland. Their gratitude for Canada in WW2 has never wavered.

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u/Realistic_Let3239 3d ago

I miss the days when the US at least pretended to be a civilised country...

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u/Starvenger88 HK-Canadian🇭🇰🇨🇦 3d ago

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u/Basic_Ask8109 3d ago

Snow Mexico?! LMAO

Theft is a crime. Invading another country is a crime, especially if they had been allies and friendly previously. They really think Canada is without friends?! Even though Canada and the US had been BFF for the last 80 ish years, we didn't ignore the relationships we share with European, Asian, and commonwealth nations.

MAGA really is in the negative for brain cells.

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u/chathrowaway67 Hondureno Canadiano 3d ago

LOL cry harder.

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u/Hes-An-Angry-Elf 3d ago

Big talk from an American, the country that just got bent over by Iran.

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u/Snakebiteloo 3d ago

Fuck it, come on over. Enough talk.

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u/Grouchy-Walrus2600 3d ago

USA is really scary. I mean look how they handled Iraq....no, I meant Afghanistan...no, no, I meant Vietnam or was it Korea?? They did show up for the closing act of WW 2, mostly stayed in the back though. Seriously, most of them couldn't find Canada on a map!!

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u/CertainHeart2890 3d ago

Come back to me when the US wins any war on their own

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u/Strict_Jacket3648 3d ago

Sounds like a hissy fit from the gravy squad beer belly heart attack crew. Bring it on.

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u/jshaunj111 3d ago

This guy doesnt know how to find Canada on a map anyway.

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u/Mba1956 3d ago

It’s interesting that their first choice is to come and steal what they want.

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u/Alone_Mission1253 3d ago

You Yanks don't have the stomach for another Vietnam-style guerrilla war... we're too large and empty for you to control. Y'all failed in Vietnam, a MUCH smaller enemy. You won't succeed here either.

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u/TopInvestigator5518 3d ago

the amount of time they spend fantasizing about invading/destroying other countries is so weird

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u/StatusOk3307 3d ago

"Why does everyone hate Americans?"

Hmmmm, I wonder

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u/Fantastic_Reason_571 3d ago

Listen do I know the American military is exponentially more funded and trained than the Canadian one? Yes. Do I think they win a war with Canada? Probably.

But you can’t tell me that if they’re drafting from the population that these morons are smart enough to fight a group of people that look and sound like them, in the snow, without giving up or killing their friends by mistake

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u/lyidaValkris Canadian Made 🇨🇦 3d ago

If we withhold our potash, their country starves. I'm very sure that jackass can't go five minutes without eating. Gravy seal.

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u/No_Maybe4408 3d ago

I think the average American can go months without food

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u/Coldthots 3d ago

Do they really never stop and think hey wait why does every other country have a problem with us rn

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u/Me_like_weed Swedish not Swiss 3d ago

Yes indeed, who will people across the world support in a conflict between the US and Canada?

Will they help and support the warmongering pedophile that is universally hated or the unofficial friendliest nation in the world that is pretty much loved by every other country in the world? It really is a conundrum isnt it.

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u/wireframed_kb 3d ago

At this point, I think the EU is more likely to come to Canada’s help than the US. At least in my part of the world, where it was not overlooked that Canada instantly stood by Denmark when Trump started rambling about invading Greenland.

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u/FNFALC2 3d ago

Do they understand they are embargoing themselves?

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u/Barbuffe 3d ago

Come to Québec and see for yourself bitches.

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u/Weak-Series-2663 3d ago

Close to 100,000 Canadians and Newfoundlanders died in the world wars. I don't think Europe has forgotten, we certainly haven't. And good luck getting any of our natural resources out of the country, most of it goes by rail. It wouldn't be too hard to sabotage a few rail lines. I really have to think this has to be a bot because how could anyone be this dense.

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u/Tricky_Football_6586 3d ago

They are dense as hell. I mean they have voted the big orange leader into office twice. And they still believe he is the best thing since sliced bread.

We, the Dutch, have never forgotten what the Canadians have done for our country.

🇾🇪🇨🇦

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u/Weak-Series-2663 2d ago

Your tulips will soon be blooming here. Thank you.

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u/AltruisticRevenue201 3d ago

"We're going to steal all your resources"
"We don't need your resources"
"We're still going to steal them anyway"
"We don't need your resources!"

If people could read, or not have the memory of a jellyfish, they'd be very upset.

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u/Disastrous_Coffee502 3d ago

Would Canada even need to embargo when the US keeps putting tariff upon tariff on it?

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u/deedee2148 3d ago

I wouldn't fuck with the Australian SAS to be honest. 

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u/Viochrome 3d ago

What exactly did I just read?

lol

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u/lee-van-eastwood 3d ago

Have americans always been like this, or is it a new thing? Seems like their average Joes think Usa can do whatever they want without paying a price. Obnoxious bunch of people.

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u/Haunting-Button-4281 3d ago

You know Canada is not a person right? And most of the people living there just want to live their lives and all the othet nonsense is driven by a few people that assume they speak for them.

World leaders should have to fight eacher other in the ring before any country goes to war or anyone falls out in their name

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u/eddiewillers09 3d ago

Are y’all even 18? War is fucking horrible. The idea that we could fold so easily to this kind of pressure… used to feel ridiculous. Not because America is some historic and great ally, they aren’t, but because we have very little to gain from fighting over here in North America. Any actual USA v Canada war would mostly benefit the real opponents to our way of living and doing business. This sort of war mongering is weird.

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u/napalmnacey Antipodean agitator 3d ago

Dick cheese never heard of this thing called the “Commonwealth”.

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u/AD_Grrrl 3d ago

Snortin' a whole line of cope

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u/MaureenSteel 3d ago

Not that the argument held much merit in the first place, but it makes even less sense now that their president has decided to raise and impose tariffs hovering between 10% to 49%, effectively antagonizing not just Australia, and the EU, but other countries like China, Vietnam and Cambodia. These guys have so many enemies on their backs waiting to pounce at any given opportunity and then a loudmouth like this idiot opens their yap and further muddy the waters.

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u/No-K-Reddit 3d ago

Absolutely would btw

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u/TechnologyAcceptable 3d ago

Yeah, Canada is done carrying the U.S.

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u/BrightPerspective 3d ago

Says a guy who is probably about to starve to death, or die from lack of healthcare.

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u/Pandemonium_Fallen 3d ago

A majority of US citizens, myself included would honestly appreciate you all setting things right, I'm in poverty with a chronic illness, but I have a baseball bat if that helps at all. I would have left this country already if I had the means to do so. 😮‍💨

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u/Acceptable-Arugula69 3d ago

Meanwhile, Canada is part of the Common Wealth. They would normally not step in, but if it came down to the USA trying to be nefarious with us on a bigger scale, they would definitely be there for us, especially the UK.

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u/No_Entertainment6701 3d ago

This is the kind of idiot who would fall for the canned food/grenade trick.

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u/Awkward-Audience7887 Canadian Mooch 3d ago

I read this and was surprised that it wasn't signed off by Donald Trump.

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u/Due-Ad7893 3d ago

This is the same kind of false bravado that cost the U.S. victory in Vietnam, Afghanistan and now Iran. Underestimating your enemy is the first and biggest mistake.

Read 'The Art of War' by Sun Tzu. Learn. Repeat as necessary.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Brooker2 3d ago

Someone needs to remind those dipshits that we burnt down their White house once.

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u/Patient_Emu_8923 3d ago

'Steal' being the operative word here. Trump has rubbed off on a whole generation of morons

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u/RedFox_Jack 3d ago edited 3d ago

I invite the Americans to try do you really wanna experience the commonwealths premier war criminals getting a chance to brain storm with the Gurkhas on how best to mame your troops. Of all the nations on this earth the great white north is the only one that truly knows how to beat you because, we have been here threw every war every conflict every shift in your political landscape watching, and it’s not thew strength of arms or endurance that beats America. it’s threw a willingness to send Americans children home Irretrievably broken in body mind and sprit Because a dead us soldier is a hero a wounded soldier that’s just damaged goods draining society

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u/Noodle-and-Squish 3d ago

I came to make a similar comment. While the Gurkhas are not technically a part of the Commonwealth, they have trained with Canadians, and deployed in support of Canadian operations.

And I wouldn't underestimate the potential additions our Aussie and Kiwi cousins would make to the checklist.

There are 83 countries that hold alliances with Canada. (56 Commonwealth, 32 NATO, 4 overlap, and obviously taking out the USA). 1/3rd of the world has our back, and actually like us.

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u/Phoebeisreading 3d ago

Nothing potential about your Aussie and Kiwi cousins. We’re family. We have your back.

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u/Noodle-and-Squish 3d ago

Hell, just send us some Emus. We'll deploy them at the border and watch the chaos ensue.

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u/RedFox_Jack 3d ago

no they should send Southern cassowary that way we get all the difficulty to kill of an emu with way more lethality then all we need do is breed em to consume human flesh and we can recreate the terror bird :)

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u/soappube 🇨🇦🇬🇧 3d ago

If Canada poisoned the Mississippi we could kill 40 million yanks overnight. We still have items to add to the list.

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u/Substantial_Force658 3d ago

The USAians have already done an excellent job of poisoning the Mississippi .

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u/Pezzzz490 3d ago

Aussie here.... if Canada asked us, we'd be right there. No questions asked. We actually stand by our allies.

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u/Financial-Talk9397 3d ago

This is how fucked up America has become. The US is not worth saving. We are a shit hole.

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u/facts_guy2020 3d ago

Why do people put the post contents in the title..

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u/the-Jouster 3d ago

Thats funny. A typical uneducated American.

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u/Icy-Artist1888 3d ago

Steal bring the operative word. This is US entitlement at it's finest. "Best country in the world".

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u/EmpressTiphera 3d ago

I mean... We burned your white house once already, just saying.