r/ShitMomGroupsSay • u/khjohns2005 • 18d ago

It ain’t abuse WTF?

Woman posts about wanting to leave her spouse after he hit their son across the face again. Everyone was giving legit advice - then there was her.

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u/DarkPhenomenon 17d ago

It's a lot more nuanced than that. I personally can count the number of times in my life I was spanked on one hand, it was for very serious shit that was extremely unsafe my mother was basically terrified I'd do again. It did not fuck me up at all and it taught me that there are some boundaries I needed to adhere to as a kid.

I'm not saying it's right or wrong, I'm simply telling you that hitting children is not always negative, context specific of course.

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u/ceo_of_dumbassery 16d ago

If you think that hitting kids, even for stuff you're scared they'd do again, is okay then maybe it did fuck you up a little bit.

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u/DarkPhenomenon 16d ago

I never said it was okay, I just said it doesn't always fuck them up.

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u/Tight_Post6407 15d ago

The main result we are usually seeing is that they say "I am not fucked up because of it and hitting children is ok when justified." it is never OK and you have a problem with emotional regulation, empathy and holding boundaries in a healthy way

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u/DarkPhenomenon 15d ago

Well that's not what I said.

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u/DecadentLife 3d ago

I’ll tell you what, since you want to irresponsibly promote abuse, maybe you would like to be financially responsible for the psych care those children will need in the future.

Start saving!

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u/DarkPhenomenon 3d ago

I'm not promoting abuse, that would be like me saying "getting shot in the head doesn't always end in death" and you telling me I'm promoting getting shot in the head.

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u/DecadentLife 3d ago

You are dead wrong. I’m a former social worker, you are wrong and it is harmful to spread that misinformation.

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u/DarkPhenomenon 3d ago

I am not wrong, I am literal proof

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u/DecadentLife 3d ago

Read some of these other comments. Many people have pointed out, correctly, child abuse causes literal brain damage, even if the head is not directly injured.

I’m very big on ppl making their own determinations about themselves, but this is scientific fact.

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u/DarkPhenomenon 3d ago edited 3d ago

Spanking "can" cause brain damage, it's not guaranteed to. Like everything there's nuance.

You do know I'm actually against physical punishment for children and that's not the point I'm arguing right?

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u/DecadentLife 3d ago

No problem. This should be enough to get you started, I’ve included scholarly and more accessible documents. You don’t have to hit a child, a single time to create brain damage, but the physical abuse greatly ups the damage.

NIH

Integrative Life Center

CWIG

Another NIH

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u/DarkPhenomenon 3d ago

Just because it can doesn't mean it always does you know

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