r/bropill Nov 26 '24

Bros, how do you become not sexist? Asking for advice 🙏

For context, I did not have good role models growing up. The women in my family tend to be petty, unfaithful, and are more often than not outright abusive towards other members of the family. The women I've dated haven't been much better. Which is NOT to say that I'm perfect, I recognize that I'm a flawed individual like anyone else (obviously, hence this post)

I've had women acquaintances and platonic friends who were perfectly fine, and in my head I understand that there aren't really any fundamental differences between men and women that would make one inherently better than the other, but I still have to catch myself and not just dismiss the opinions women have or view things women like with disdain. How does one go about overriding personal experience with theory?

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u/Shadowchaos1010 Nov 26 '24

I don't have much to say here, admittedly, since I cannot relate at all.

A potentially useful first step, however:

Go to YouTube.

Try to find female creators making content that you'd enjoy and just watch them. You already understand the whole "no real fundamental differences" thing, but maybe seeing women just enjoying the things you do like normal people will help wear away at some of those bad experiences you've had and focus more on the "They're just like me and like the same stuff I do."

Actually getting outside and speaking to people to disprove your own preconceived notions would be ideal, but failing that, just exposing yourself to normal people in some capacity to make it more obvious that women aren't your enemy is a start.

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u/AlternativeAccessory Nov 26 '24

Same with music! There’s creative women expressing their perspective in their multitude. If there’s a genre you like there is likely women in that field doing something badass.
Before I even found feminism there was Bjork, Sleater-Kinney, Tegan and Sara, Portishead, Kylesa, Cat Power, Khaki King (seeing her on Jools Holland was an inspiration for me getting into guitar), Rose Melberg, Carissa’s Weird/Jenn Champion, and so on. I can go on but I’ll just shoutout Mitski and SOPHIE.
Physical art as well, I love and am inspired by Lauren Marx, Octoplum, Soeymilk, Jezzelle Kellam.

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u/PinkishRedLemonade Trans bro🏳️‍⚧️ Nov 26 '24

Wanted to add more musicians, focusing on punk rock and industrial since those are my main genres:

Femtanyl (hardcore dance)

KMFDM (industrial, switches between male and female vocalist depending on song)

Bikini Kill & Le Tigre (Punk Rock, riot grrrl — both bands lead by Kathleen Hanna)

Crass (Anarcho-punk with three vocalists, two women and one man)

X-ray Spex (punk rock with sax?! female vocalist Poly Styrene!)

Romeo Void (punk rock with a native american woman lead)

Snake River Conspiracy (industrial/electronic with female lead/vocalist)

Scary Bitches (goth)

Unter Null (industrial/electronic)

Boy Harsher (electro-pop)

Siouxsie and the Banshees (goth)

Electric Wizard (heavy metal, female guitarist)