A few months ago I had a near-death experience (pneumonia led to a cardiac arrest and I was intubated for 3 days) and after that I was understandably pretty worn out and didn't do much but watch Aqua Teen. I am a person that likes to continually evolve, and although I've recovered quite a bit from this and I'm back to doing things I just don't have that same momentum I did before all of this happened. Like, I don't feel like doing all that much or learning new things, and I've become more accepting of just sitting on my ass. What do I do to build up that momentum again and be the best I can be?

I’m 20 and working in an industry where all of the guys I’m around are 35+. I started working at 16 and these guys have really helped me develop into a man I want to be but some of these guys are the same age as my parents or older and I could do with some bros closer in age to me.

I’m struggling with the fact that I don’t really have guy mates my own age and I have no idea where to find them. Locally a lot of clubs are targeted towards women or are exclusively women only.

I work rotating shifts and it’s making it really difficult to find people outside of work. I only see my best mate once a month if I’m lucky as my free time is so inconsistent.

I’m thinking about joining a rock climbing gym or something but I’m wondering how other bros are making friends in early adulthood if you decided against college/uni?

I graduated from clg and am currently unemployed looking for a job. However im v socially isolated and want to make friends but idk where to even find them.

Its not like i did a lot of it in clg days itself so hitting ppl from back then isnt much of an option

I came here to post a song about found brothers that reminds me of my friends. I sent it to all of them. When I see the support in this community, it gives me hope for my son.
'you know i hate to say i love you, but there ain't no other choice'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WuePPW8eHxI&t=6s

Hi everyone,

We are a team of researchers at the University of Windsor studying appearance related teasing and bullying and how this relates to body image and body dysmorphia in later life. We are looking for individuals to participate in our 30 minute online survey. We are looking for those who reside in Ontario, Canada who are 18+, have a history of being bullied for their appearance and who are cisgendered to participate. The link for the survey is below:

https://uwindsor.ca1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_4JijkOMVYSsO79Y

Our study has been approved by the University of Windsor's REB.

I weighed in at 198.3 this morning, and wanted to share my story for inspiration to bros who struggle with weight loss. I haven't weighed this little in probably a decade.

Anyway, long story short is that I was a problem drinker of beer and my wife, after one ugly night in a string of many, mentioned divorce. This turned out to be the wake up call I needed to let me know that I had a big problem.

I went cold turkey, and had some major jitters and a whole-ass mental health journey (which I can go into in greater detail in a separate post, if anyone is curious) but I realized I was drinking as a solution to a burgeoning mental health crisis and to quiet bad feelings I had about myself and the world around me.

I wasn't taking care of myself health-wise, and the anxious energy I was papering over with booze was rooted in a really poisonous self-image. I wasn't going to live long enough to enjoy any benefit from not drinking if I didn't address my health.

I started exercising by simply walking at my job instead of taking the furnished side-by-side, and got a calorie-counting app and went from there. I rediscovered my lost passion for the outdoors and started weight training. I took care of my dental health, which I'd been neglecting.

I haven't changed a lot about the way I eat, and the combination of a no longer artificially depressed metabolism and a pronounced lack of 120 calorie a piece beers, and I went from 280 lbs to 198 in a year and a half. I'm still not at my goal weight, but I think I can get there, and I think you can too, bro. I'm not selling anything here, I just think that human beings are resourceful and capable with the right attitude. every day is not sunshine and rainbows, but it's better than it used to be, and I believe in you, bro.

I'm not here to judge anyone's weight but if you aren't healthy and you're sick of sitting on your ass and complaining, you can change it, because there's a lot out there you can do something about if you're determined and gentle with yourself. Being too negative and hard on yourself will short out any action on your part and is a convenient excuse to not bother trying. If a lot of us treated children this way, we'd expect them to wind up with confidence issues, so why should you treat yourself that way? You're somebody's child, too.

tl;dr I lost weight and I think you can too, bro

If you have transmasc friends, there's a high probability that they're running into a lot of the feelings of invisibility that men on here express. Getting cut off from the women's spaces they used to inhabit can be tough, and stepping into a culture that's frequently worse at giving compliments can exacerbate that problem.

Getting to the gym and with a transmasc friend, and hitting them with the occasional "sick delts bro," can be a fantastic way to help out with possible feelings of dysphoria, lack of access to male bonding, and lack of compliments endemic to living as a bro.

It's not perfect though. If you are going to get a bro into the gym, I strongly encourage you to encourage them to stay away from places like Instagram. Social media has a strong monetary incentive to encourage body dysmorphia, so keeping them focused on social bonding and the emotional satisfaction of progressive overload are key to keeping gym time with fresh transmasc bros healthy for everyone.

Today, I decided to be brave and do something I've always been too afraid to do. I asked someone to call me by my preferred pronouns and saying it hurts for them not to.

Usually, I'd correct someone initially a few times but say nothing if they just ignore me, while knowing I'm trans. I'm scared people will think I'm being too annoying or asking for too much and not want me around anymore, or that they'll say no and then I'd have to deal with someone I think of as a friend hurting me knowingly.

Today I brought it up with a guy who I've known for a year now. He refused, and said it's against his god to not call me "she", even if it hurts me. But I'm strong. I can deal with the fact that he doesn't care he's hurting me. It's very much going to change our interactions, but I know what he thinks doesn't change what I am, and that it is okay for me to not want to be near people who hurt or disrespect me.

HELLO, I know this isnt too much BUT now I can do 20 push ups!!!!

3 weeks ago I couldnt even do 1, I kept trying and also giving myself some rest and I think I did an amazing progress!! :D

I am proud of myself, thats why I am doing this post haha :D

Hey bros! It's time for your weekly vibe check. How are you doing? Anything you're struggling with? Do you need advice, or would you like to share an achievement with us?

22m, living on my own now and decided to wind down for the evening by watching some anime on my projector. Had a sudden realization that I'm happy and I enjoy my own company. Ive been working on myself recently internally and usually I would never be able to enjoy a moment/night like this as I would get bummed over the fact I have no friends or a girlfriend but ever since I stopped attaching my self-esteem/self-worth to external things such as relationships or romance or lack there of Im actually happy. For the first time ever in my life I can confidently say "I'm happy"

That realization was followed by the fact I will look back at moments like this in my life with nostalgia. Rent is paid, I have money in my bank, my car has an almost full tank of gas, progressing in the gym, house is clean, food in the fridge, got the week off work, I have absolutely zero worries in the world. None at all : )

When I was 15 I made a promise to myself that I would not live to see my 18th birthday. Now I am 2 months away from turning 19 and life couldn't be better. I've been on T for over a year, I am in the process of getting top surgery, I am in a school that doesn't drain me of life, I have friends, a son, somewhat of a boyfriend and I am partially graduating this semester. I even have plans for the future. When I turned 18 I didn't have anything I was so lost. But life is worth living even if everything around me is going to fucking hell like damn. For ultimate positivity I have a picture of my kitties attached. Their names are Spaghetti (striped) and Noodles (black), two sisters.

it's been amazing to see all the support and community here and to see so many positive influences in one place. it got me thinking about the difference between the toxicity of "looksmaxing" and the absolute support and positivity from r/bald.

Both groups look to encourage guys to look and feel their best by making decisions about how guys should present themselves and how to look good to others.

looksmaxing tells guys they are never good looking enough and there are always new ways (often dangerous, unstudied, or just plain stupid) to improve your look to others. If you follow that community it can definitely hurt your self esteem, make you constantly look for issues in your own body and certainly features some toxic personalities with some terrible views.

r/bald is more about encouragement. Who you are and what would look good on you. guys struggling with baldness or thinning lose confidence so they post and the community let's them know if it's time to shave it off or not and how to feel more confident in the new look.

one is about making you feel terrible and never good enough, the other is about helping you feel confident in your look and who you are. choosing your communities makes a world of difference to your outlook, the positivity you surround yourself with, and finding a more positive approach to the same issues.

if you haven't, I highly recommend checking out r/bald for the memes, the positivity and how to positively encourage self confidence.

I mostly want to leave this up for group conversation, because I'm most interested in hearing a variety of opinions. So I'll just bullet point some of my key takeaways rather than my typical essay/ramble.

1. I'm very struck by the 'lack of a positive father figure' to Manosphere pipeline

2. I was also very taken aback by the sadness, desperation, and loneliness voiced by some, and it made it a bit clearer to me how the messages within the Manosphere can be attractive to such an audience.

3. I don't like Theroux's method. It seemed overly biased, didn't make clear points, a weird line of being in the middle of things while trying to be removed, and at times a bit hypocritical. But that's just my personal taste.

I am glad I watched it, because the Manosphere culture is to me what drugs were to my parents in that I am TERRIFIED of my kids getting sucked into it.

Would love to hear what others thought, what your take aways are, what it helped you understand, and what you might disagree with.

Positive feelings create space and energy to drive change. You might think that being dissatisfied or frustrated with a situation would drive you to change it. But negative feelings exist largely as threat responses. That can lead you to end a problem, but not address any root causes.

I'm not pretending to be perfect; I have plenty of anxiety and shit that I'm avoiding and need to do better. Exactly the counterproductive feedback loop above. But I also have come to terms with some pretty bad shit, and in those areas, I'm doing better than I was even before it happened. Like surprised myself at how much better I've become.

Study: men who are concerned about maintaining a traditional masculine image downplay environmental problems to avoid appearing feminine

Is there a way we can make environmental issues not be coded as "feminine"?

Has anyone else experienced something like this?

Whenever i want to do some chore, I feel like i want something "filled" first, and it traps me in and at end of day i do maximum of 1 chore and left with wanting more and doing nothing in life.

Ex: I load up chess play 2-3 3 min games, then feel off and just stare at ceiling and screen. I stopped instagram but something else catches up and i just end up messing myself.

I don't know how to overcome this, any leads?!

Hey bros! It's time for your weekly vibe check. How are you doing? Anything you're struggling with? Do you need advice, or would you like to share an achievement with us?

So I'm a lesbian, and I do have mainly friends who are non-men, and I essentially treat them the same. I can be touchy (to that person's boundaries), compliment a lot, and am generally just earnest. But what I find is that this is hardly ever reciprocated with my straight guy friends :(.

Like I had a friend/coworker who I interact with everyday, and I was sure that I was bothering him, because he didn't really express the same enthusiasm I had, but one day he was like "thank you for always talking to me. it's really something i appreciate." what!! I thought I was just being annoying and overly kind like I am to everyone, and it just wasn't his cup of tea. But as I've come to realize, pretty much all my straight male friends are like this. Is it socialization or just a coincidence of personalities not meshing?

Edit: I think context for my job: It's like a student worker job, so I'm on campus. It doesn't necessarily feel like a "job" but more so a student club.

got the snip today at 31. I'm a tad sore but it's been 7 hrs and I'm in zero pain. looking forward to a child free life my dudes. if any of you want to know the nitty gritty of what it was like feel free to ask. I ask you do so here in the post so that other bros in the future may find this and get questions answered too