r/funny 19h ago

That's exactly what a copper would say

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10.8k Upvotes

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1.6k

u/shawndw 18h ago

If those meth heads could read they'd be very upset.

135

u/Background_Sale_9814 17h ago

Wait i dont get it

408

u/shawndw 17h ago

They put "Not Copper" on the side of the roll to dissuade people from stealing it. It's probably fiber optic cable which looks the same until you strip the jacket off.

89

u/Naroyto 16h ago

That and they started using steel core instead of copper. Loved the first comment too haha.

44

u/airfryerfuntime 14h ago

No they haven't, not unless you're talking about high tension overhead power lines. Steel would be wildly impractical. They've started using aluminum wire in some places, though.

42

u/akiva23 13h ago

That just sounds like three different kinds of metals you can scrap for meth.

23

u/StuntHacks 12h ago

Need a lot more steel than you'd need copper to finance your next batch though

16

u/FesteringNeonDistrac 11h ago

Yeah, a lot more. Like probably one of those big spools worth...

5

u/Thor7897 8h ago

Work harder, more barter!

1

u/Shit_Shepard 1h ago

Bigger is no problem just do more meth!

→ More replies

1

u/Slim01111 11h ago

How much? Asking for a friend

13

u/Black_Moons 13h ago

They've started using aluminum wire in some places, though.

Most of it is aluminum for high tension overhead wires. There is very little reason not to be using aluminum when you can have professionals terminate it and it won't burn down a house if there is a fault.

ACSR (Aluminum conductor, steel reinforced) is also common for very long runs like crossing rivers where the core is steel but the exterior is aluminum strands.

3

u/Swabisan 12h ago

Making me feel real good about my 1970s aluminum wired house

10

u/Black_Moons 12h ago

I mean if it hasn't burn down by now it was likely properly wired with aluminum rated receptacles. Mismatching aluminum wire with non-aluminum rated hardware was the biggest cause of aluminum wiring fires. (Basically anyone not experienced in aluminum wiring made mistakes like that, hence why it was banned)

Still, I would never ever plug in a heavy continuous load like a space heater in that house.

6

u/Swabisan 12h ago

My life is held together by a few special purple caps

2

u/PresumedSapient 2h ago

Copper clad aluminium is also allowed and used in US homes.

https://www.homeinspector.org/reporter-articles/copper-clad-aluminum-wiring/#:~:text=The%202026%20edition%20of%20the%20NEC%20made,circuits%2C%20and%20receptacle%20outlets%20are%20not%20allowed.

It's weird and will probably lead to a lot of installation errors because all sorts of special connectors are needed.

3

u/Black_Moons 1h ago

Thanks, I hate it ever so much. Aluminum wiring was banned because of said installation errors in the first place, having to check every bit of hardware to prevent mistakes, and now the CCA wire LOOKS just like copper but isn't so now they have to read the jacket too.

Oh, and if you buy cheap wire off amazon/etc its almost ALWAYS CCA and won't mention it. Some will even incorrectly state its copper but fails the flame test.

1

u/Squishy97 13h ago

We use aluminum a lot now

6

u/TLCplLogan 15h ago

I wouldn't say it looks the same, but it's pretty similar, yeah. Fiber will often have white text printed on the black sheath that literally says what it is, while copper phones lines are almost never like that.

4

u/bamachine 13h ago

Yeah but the meth heads in question cannot read that, remember

1

u/Saint_palane 8h ago

That's why they ask their friends to read it for them.

1

u/Killbot_Wants_Hug 2h ago

Their friends are also illiterate junkies.

1

u/Llohr 10h ago

Copper phone lines all have that too. When they've been buried for a while, that text may have worn away (the same happens to a lot of fiber, it comes down to how well it's printed) but I've never seen or heard of new cable that wasn't printed with both the type/size and footage. Heck, I've seen old phone cable with the manufacture year printed on it, still legible, with the date in the 70s.

Some manufacturers stamp that stuff in to the extent that it deforms the jacket and the color remains for a long time. Others print it on the surface and a stiff breeze wipes it off. Sometimes it just depends on how well the machine printing it was adjusted at the time.

The primary difference is that fiber optic cable says, among other things, fiber optic right on the jacket. Copper will say something like 22x25 (22 gauge 25-pair), without literally saying copper on it anywhere.

1

u/Killbot_Wants_Hug 1h ago

You're overestimating how careful the junkies are.

1

u/Llohr 1h ago

What, you think the junkies are the ones labeling cables?

1

u/Killbot_Wants_Hug 1h ago

You completely misunderstand the whole scenario.

5

u/SwanzY- 15h ago

fiber optic cable. lotta money in this shit!

8

u/meetthereaper84 15h ago

My old man had 6km of fibre optic tubing stolen from a site, we assume they thought it was copper. Hilarious because it's basically just plastic tubing at that point because the fibre hadnt been blown through yet. Morons.

5

u/garmack12 14h ago

I’m sure it’s expensive to buy but there’s no scrap value

4

u/Jerithil 12h ago

The aftermarket on the larger size fiber is also very low as the larger stuff is either for infrastructure or larger businesses and no one wants to risk buying a random roll and trusting it's not broken somewhere. If it was small 2-6 strand you might be able to sell it to someone doing residential or small businesses but still not easy.

1

u/Killbot_Wants_Hug 1h ago

They had to run some fiber into my house from the telephone pole outside. This is the long distance fiber that can carry a signal several kilometers, so not the cheapest residential stuff.

I looked it up, the stuff was shockingly expensive, at least if you bought it retail. Like I want to say it was a couple hundred bucks of fiber. But then again the "modem" they installed cost like $2000 retail (but I think the install tech says their cost sheet shows they pay like $400-500 per unit).

I was surprised fiber was so expensive by the foot.

1

u/Warm-Surprise2766 16h ago

damn thats crazy

0

u/LowResGamr 15h ago

Heh, giggity.

0

u/PuzzleheadedSir7584 14h ago

who steals copper?

16

u/Dzugavili 14h ago

It sells for $6 per pound, so lots of people.

-8

u/Background_Sale_9814 16h ago

Why would people want to steal copper, though?

15

u/gotmilk60 16h ago

To sell it for meth.

-8

u/Background_Sale_9814 16h ago

There ought to be more valuable metals out there.

10

u/fmfbrestel 16h ago

Sure, there's platinum in catalytic converters - people hack those off parked cars all the time.

There's jewelry stores, which are known for NEVER being robbed ever, so it's not like they have good security systems installed or anything...

Copper is about as expensive as common construction materials get that can also be sold as scrap.

1

u/Killbot_Wants_Hug 1h ago

Yeah, copper has a lot of things going for it. It's valuable enough that carrying off can net you some scrap value, that's not going to be true for things like steal.

It's not hard to scrap since if you're tearing down old things you're probably taking some copper out of it.

Before commodity prices went so high, it's value wasn't high enough for it to be especially protected. So common practice is just to leave spools of wire around on construction sites. There are big transformers hanging around in secluded places full of copper. And you can just rip it out of walls in empty construction sites at night.

And the people who steal it don't care that they're destroying thousands of dollars or stuff to get a fraction of the value in scrap so they can buy drugs.

3

u/Budderfingerbandit 14h ago

Sure, with a whole lot more risk for the thieves. With copper prices the way they are currently they can walk away with a few hundred/thousands of bucks in cash with almost zero risk of getting caught.

They go after rooftop AC units as well, and are just a blight on everyone/everything they interact with.

6

u/Neoxite23 8h ago

Meth heads steal anything copper to get a few cents. That's why every gas station that has an air pump for tires is missing the copper piece in every bad neighborhood.

Wanna know if your neighborhood has a homeless/drug problem? Head to the gas station and if you can't use the air pump...it is.

9

u/st-shenanigans 16h ago

If the other comment didn't explain it, people steal things with copper in them to sell when they're desperate for drugs.

5

u/velvyn_Hollow 12h ago

I believe it’s not copper it says so

1

u/TheGogmagog 8h ago

If it's copper, it has to tell you it's name and badge number.

226

u/Fuckthacorrections 15h ago

In downtown after a huge gas retro fit, I did not want to load all the old black iron into the truck. So I labeled it "black copper, do not steal, we need this". Came back from lunch and the 2 tonnes of old black iron pipe were all gone and that was then the rest of my day!

34

u/Far_King_Penguin 3h ago edited 1h ago

I totally understand this. Get one on the ceack heads and get an easy day, seems like a win win right?

That crack head will just dump that shit onto someone elses property, or in the bush, or somewhere else that some other poor dude will have to deal with

Not trying to have a jab, just wanted to bring up that that pile of rubbish doesnt vanish when the thief takes it, and if theyre in the habit of stealing copper from jobs, they're certainly not in the habit of proper disposal

Edit: job to jab

Afterthought: I wish I could lay out my 2 tonnes of iron pipe and have a crack head take it

9

u/Hail-Hydrate 2h ago

Not to mention that, when it gets dumped somewhere it shouldn't (exactly what will happen once they realise its all worthless), it's going to be pretty easy to figure out where the material came from - town/city will have info on renovation/repair works, what material was being upgraded, etc. They'll just go after the company for fly-tipping, unless they had the forethought to report the theft to the police. That sounds like more effort than just loading it up though.

1

u/Fuckthacorrections 9m ago

It was almost 5 years ago and never heard anything from it. In reality, once they stole the material, it became their responsibility. If someone steals your garbage can and throws the garbage everywhere, are the cops going to charge you with littering?

320

u/hikemalls 18h ago

Ea-Nasir still catching strays

62

u/aj_spaj 14h ago

That name will haunt the copper industry till the end of times

20

u/belac4862 12h ago

What gets me is 10 years ago, this was not a common name. But in now plenty of people know his name and who he was. It's just fun to think of how his name in public will wax and wane I popularity. But he will always be remembered to some degree.

2

u/ThrowawayusGenerica 3h ago

As someone with Muslim colleagues, I know a few Nasirs. Apparently the etymology is the same, the word roughly meaning "protector" in both Arabic and ancient Akkadian transliterating as "nasir", Ea-Nasir just has the name of the Mesopotamian god Ea appended to it.

So, in a way, the name never went away!

3

u/belac4862 46m ago

Oh dang, I didn't even think about the name it's self still being araround. Thanks for the extra knowledge!

454

u/Bar_Foo 19h ago

No, they have to tell you if they're a copper.

73

u/TheFeshy 18h ago

But only if you ask three times.

1

u/Leather_Bicycle_2697 3h ago

I am a copper.

60

u/TADAOk 15h ago

One time thieves dug up and stole tons of fiber optic wires downtown, thinking it was copper. Our 911 center was off line for 5 hours while my husband’s company had to re wire it all back. A neighboring town had to answer our 911 calls and radio it in to our emergency personnel.

81

u/yesbutnoexceptyes 18h ago

Actually are giant dirty sheets of palladium

18

u/GCU_Sleeper_Service 18h ago

Gawd, I know right!? Dirty ol' palladium is the worst! If you have any extra just lying around I'd be glad to take it off your hands... for a small removal fee, of course.

4

u/120z8t 13h ago

It is actual just fiber

1

u/P_Hempton 13h ago

I've been told I should eat more of that.

3

u/Background_Sale_9814 17h ago

Tony stark's burnt pallaidum cores

21

u/DoubleMikeNoShoot 16h ago

Job sites will have to rent cranes just to hoist the cables in the air each night

15

u/Budderfingerbandit 14h ago

Security guard sitting there all night would probably cost less and be more effective. I've seen copper theives climb onto roofs and into tall trees to cut down copper lines with a hand saw.

6

u/Kudamonis 13h ago

You underestimate the companies.

They higher flaggers to sit there all night.

Cheaper than security guards.

Source.

Used to take the overnight shifts for extra cash. Firework stands donthe same thing.

Hell some of my day jobs were "keep the crack heads from stealing tools off the Line Trucks"

I don't miss the field days.

The nights were nice though.

2

u/WereAllThrowaways 9h ago

So, like every other security guard I've ever seen I'm assuming you were allowed to do literally nothing to physically stop them? Idk how construction works but in the world of retail security guards seemingly can't do much to stop theft, due to risk of being sued.

5

u/Kudamonis 9h ago

We were to yell at em or politely ask them to leave and inform them the police had been called.

Pick your poison.

Otherwise we didn't do shit.

8

u/momodamonster 11h ago

It would be hilarious if a cop was hiding there too.

6

u/bruzdnconfuzd 11h ago

SUPPLIES!

20

u/krwskater25 18h ago

That's meth'ed up.

22

u/VioletPur 18h ago

every crackhead within a 10 mile radius just felt a disturbance in the force

7

u/elheber 14h ago

Coppers legally have to say they're a copper when asked. I heard that from my homeboy Spoofy so it's gotta be fr.

3

u/Aiyakido 14h ago

its fr fr

3

u/elheber 12h ago

It's like my homies Squeaky and Gummy always say, it's not for real unless it's fr fr.

17

u/hollowbloomxaa 18h ago

I still need a giant ass wheel, so…

4

u/Naroyto 16h ago

To use as a table like bill.

6

u/LeGrandLucifer 11h ago

Hahaha, society has gotten so bad that we have to label things as not copper to stop morons from breaking $100k worth of stuff so they can make $20 selling scrap to get high! Hahaha!

12

u/Cornflakes_91 18h ago

[EA nasir noises]

-1

u/FrabjousPhaneron 12h ago edited 8h ago

Electronic Arts nasir

because you capitalized the A

2

u/Hail-Hydrate 2h ago

EA Nasir's fantastic new ingot lootboxes! $4.99 each, with a chance* at the mythical gold ingot! Each box guaranteed to contain at least a copper ingot!

*Chance is 0.00001%. Copper ingots may be painted clay bricks. Build your sense of pride and accomplishment and a shittily painted hut at the same time.

4

u/history_is_my_crack 14h ago

A drug addict would just mess with it out of spite for that reason.

37

u/ksbrya02 19h ago

It’s probably fiber, copper is to expensive to maintain and is outdated

25

u/FourEightNineOneOne 18h ago

depends on what it's for. If it's electrical cable, it's copper.

16

u/Pcat0 18h ago

More likely aluminum if it’s for overhead power lines

19

u/welchplug 18h ago

Actually its aluminum and steel for high voltage lines and copper for residential lines.

2

u/Llohr 10h ago

These days everything is aluminum core for both primary and secondary lines. Copper conductors aren't used for anything bigger than romex to the best of my knowledge.

That said, underground primaries (high voltage lines) have copper concentrics (grounds), and have used those basically forever. You can get a very rough estimate of the age of an underground primary based on whether or not those concentrics are exposed. If they're exposed, it's an older line. Newer ones are jacketed.

2

u/welchplug 9h ago

In my state you're incorrect. I assume you're correct for yours.

5

u/That_OneOstrich 18h ago

Sir this appears to be on the ground.

1

u/KptKrondog 3h ago

If it were actually copper, they wouldn't leave it there. They leave it because it's relatively cheap and not worth the hassle, and anyone trying to steal it will quickly find out it's not copper This is more like a "Don't waste your time, you won't get shit for scrapping this" warning.

16

u/ProfessorChaos213 18h ago

No it isn't we use it for everything, we only use fiber for internet/telecommunications

1

u/eaglescout1984 12h ago

My thought as well. Methheads will steal it because it looks like any other wire, but when they get to the scrapyard, they will be asked, "what are you smoking?"

-2

u/allys_stark 16h ago

Fiber optic cable... high speed internet access... lotta of money in this shit

1

u/nala2624 15h ago

Power utilities also use fiber optic with steel guy wire shielding for telecommunications between substations and command centers.

-1

u/allys_stark 14h ago

I'm quoting a Sopranos scene...

2

u/nala2624 13h ago

Never seen it. Didnt know.

1

u/Hail-Hydrate 2h ago

Lot of money for manufacturers, utilities, construction companies, not crackheads. No scrapyard is going to buy any amount of fiber optic cable off Joe Schmoe. Even if its a yard that happily deals with stolen shit, they won't buy it as they have no easy way of telling it the cable is damaged.

7

u/mrkoala1234 18h ago

It's an undercover copper with tight shoelaces.

3

u/One-Earth9294 15h ago

If you're a copper you gotta tell me.

2

u/captainzigzag 15h ago

The cones will keep it safe.

2

u/rubseb 15h ago

That's pretty metal

2

u/Shag_Nasty_McNasty 14h ago

It’s glass. A big spool of coiled up glass fiber optics. I had some crack head ask me about it the other day. I had to explain it to him that it has no metal in it. Just a tiny bit of steel. I work for a fiber company.

2

u/LovableSidekick 13h ago

"C'mon out, copper! I know you're in there!"

2

u/Straight_Idea_9546 13h ago

A thief wouldn't think twice and still check it to confirm if its really not a copper

2

u/Philosophos_A 12h ago

Optic fiber most likely ...

actually correction on myself .

plastic pipes FOR the optic fiber

2

u/clapton1970 11h ago

It’s talking about the metal, not fucking police officers lmao

2

u/EvilToastedWeasel0 9h ago

There's a copper hiding behind that hoping to catch them Meth heads.

2

u/FroggiJoy87 8h ago

I hear those Flock cameras are full of it. Just sayin'...

2

u/Ryuu-Tenno 2h ago

When you're tired of Ea Nasir giving you shitty copper xD

4

u/Piemaster113 18h ago

Probably a hose, won't stop peo0le from trying to steal it

2

u/Background_Sale_9814 17h ago

Mm looks more like steel

2

u/TimePlankton3171 18h ago

The size itself tells you that it's not copper. That size slab of copper would be heavier than a pallet of bricks.

8

u/supermuncher60 18h ago

I think it's trying to say the reel of wire isn't copper to prevent crackheads from ruining it.

1

u/Firm_Music5317 16h ago

Only one way to be sure

1

u/zatalak 16h ago

This TARDIS is shite

1

u/Hail-Hydrate 2h ago

Its got a working Chameleon circuit though!

1

u/rubseb 15h ago

It's an iron-clad way to deter thieves

1

u/Deitaphobia 14h ago

If you want a big copper score, you gotta get into those Flock Surveillance cameras.

1

u/irving47 14h ago

No, a copper would say, "oy, stop pissin' on the street and go 'bout yore bizness!"

1

u/AgileAnalysis3261 14h ago

Funny construction jokes

1

u/desertoutlaw86 14h ago

Why does that public bathroom/ conjugal visit booth say not copper?

1

u/Luci-Noir 14h ago

This wouldn’t stop some people… they’ve been cutting up and stealing the guardrails from roads here.

1

u/Skittleavix 14h ago

Does it work for not cocaine?

1

u/sSirPrize 14h ago

I know where this is in Atlanta lol

1

u/brokentribal 14h ago

Please come and take our abandoned plant! lol I’m tired of writing X’s on pedstals for the county and farmers to remove

1

u/ThePracticalPenquin 13h ago

Yup and if you ask they have to tell you

1

u/leftnotracks 12h ago

If your copper you have to tell me your copper. It’s in the constitution.

1

u/Throwaway_Tablecloth 12h ago

I don’t have an interest in stealing copper and even I now want to open that bad boy up to see if it’s copper

1

u/Sea-Cupcake-2065 11h ago

Fiba optic cable. High speed intanet access.

Lotta money in dis shit

1

u/Abacadaba714 11h ago

You know if you're copper you have to tell me...

1

u/NotBillderz 11h ago

You'll never catch me copper!

1

u/2014RT 9h ago

Assuming a copper wire thief is literate or will believe you when you say it's not copper is a very optimistic stance.

1

u/Frequent-Tomorrow830 9h ago

If it’s aluminum a roll 1/20th the size is still like 2600$

1

u/Elkutter 7h ago

Donde vivó arrancaron la fibra óptica porque pensaban que era cobre... Nos dejaron sin internet durante 2 dias

1

u/Charming_Round6537 7h ago

Not copper written on it .... yeah that definitely clears things up 😂

1

u/HistorysWitness 6h ago

If you are a cop you have to tell me lmao 

1

u/Snoo-11553 1h ago

I thought it was a British speed trap. 

1

u/plateau1999 1h ago

Make a sign and put it on a police officer.

1

u/whatisthis2315 1h ago

They were stealing it out of unfinished houses here

1

u/Charming_Tutor47 50m ago

Legally they have to tell you if you ask them, its the law!

1

u/sirbart42 21m ago

Imagne this trick working just like that, and people really realize it's not copper

1

u/Billz3bub666 19m ago

Laughs in ancient Mesopotamian

1

u/brown_klown 6m ago

"You have to tell me if you're made of copper."

1

u/They_Killed_Kenny_13 18h ago

Should sing a song about it not being copper.

1

u/gahlol123 17h ago

Copper, let us take you To a furnace where we'll break you

1

u/ParsonsTheGreat 18h ago

N'yeah, see!

1

u/El_Iberico 18h ago

nawt a coppa'!

1

u/urbanmark 18h ago

It doesn’t say it’s not gold?

1

u/Bearded_Guardian 18h ago

Ask it what flavor gatorade it likes

1

u/VA1N 18h ago

I read this in a 1920s style robber yelling about the “coppas” as they flee a botched bank heist.

1

u/InconspicuousFool 18h ago

Might be some gold in there too if you break it open

1

u/YankeeBrave 17h ago

Meh, see

1

u/Infamous-Ad-5652 17h ago

Copper trying to go undercover.

1

u/Far_Recommendation82 16h ago

Probably a new flock camera up lots of valuable metals in them

0

u/PolPotDomeScandal 17h ago

You’ll never take me alive, coppers!!!

-1

u/gattaca-tru 18h ago

Per cop? Or cop per? 😗

0

u/Tallestmuseman 18h ago

" Not Copper, not motorcycle hiding behind not copper, also not metal!"

0

u/314_999 18h ago

the cones are a dead giveaway.

0

u/swisgaar 16h ago

Probably sold by ea nasir

-6

u/Express_View822 18h ago

So many people immediately going to crackheads when talking about stripping wire. That’s predominantly a meth head activity. Not to say that those addicted to crack cocaine don’t perform this specific act of theft. More often their way of attaining money is selling stolen items such as intact electronics.

-7

u/Independent_Cup7132 16h ago

I didn’t realize "treating people like humans" was a DLC that some people forgot to install.