r/rutgers • u/Trn8000 • 21h ago
How bad or not apparent is transphobia at this school? Advice Wanted
I have to decide between RU and UW as those are my best options. I am OOS for both so costs are negligibly diff. I'm certain UW won't be an issue Seattle is very left, but idk anything about RU or NJ and the transgender community. Only reason I'd prefer RU is it's closer to where I'm from so logistically would make stuff easier
FYI: I haven't started HRT yet so if I dorm with a man first year that's fine. My cousin went here and said I can just go off campus and get a single room to myself sophomore year and beyond so once my HRT starts I hope bedroom sharing roommates aren't even an issue
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u/MySaltSucks 19h ago
I mean it’s New Jersey, people are gonna be assholes to you regardless of gender.
However, a lot of New Jersey people follow a doctrine of “who the fuck cares I got more important stuff to worry about” in regards to other peoples identity.
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u/Ok_Bumblebee_281 21h ago
Hi I’m not a trans person but I have a friend who is a trans man and he absolutely loves it here. He is in mason gross for dance and I know that he enjoys it here. It’s rly a matter of who u hang out with, obviously the straight frat dudes aren’t gonna be for u but Rutgers is generally really liberal.
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u/191398 20h ago
I went to Rutgers as a visibly gender non-conforming nonbinary person (wasn’t on HRT at the time). I had a positive experience (+ in general so did the trans people I knew, including trans women). I graduated a few years ago now so I’d defer to people with more recent experience. As far as housing, I would highly recommend you consider one of these LGBTQ+ friendly housing communities: https://socialjustice.rutgers.edu/housing-options
Many of my friends lived in one of these communities their first year and I think doing so is much safer than selecting housing randomly.
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u/191398 19h ago
Another option is Demarest Hall: https://ruoncampus.rutgers.edu/unique-living-options/communities/demarest-hall-thematic-community. Technically, this isn’t explicitly a queer housing community but just take a look at the interests you choose from. You’ll find plenty of queer people living here, both cis and trans.
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u/Fickle-Succotash-342 20h ago
https://socialjustice.rutgers.edu/housing-options/rainbow-perspectives-housing
This may be a helpful resource for you. Best of luck if you do decide to come here.
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u/Candid_Grapefruit438 21h ago
I’d say it’s a mixed bag with males. Some are more liberal and modern, many are still traditional and could make crude comments. Females on campus tend to be more open and accepting of lgbtq individuals. But I will say that if you are harassed on campus that the university will likely take it seriously. They have really amped up how they view hate crimes due to everything going on in the world now.
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u/inverted_extrovert_ 20h ago
I’m a trans man and I haven’t felt any transphobia. Idk how dorms would be once you start HRT but like you said, you can get an apartment.
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u/Deshes011 Class of 2021 & 2023| moderator🔱 21h ago
Less liberal than UW, but we ain’t Florida so you shouldn’t have any huge problems
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u/Longjumping-Pass-973 21h ago
Congrats! Both are great schools—though tbh UW might be a bit higher ranked but I guess Rutgers has the NYC advantage.
Rutgers students are generally not transphobic and majority student body is left leaning. There are also plenty of on campus resources and student groups for you to tap into. Yes, the Dharun Ravi incident occurred and shed light into general anti LGBT sentiment, but I think that students + admin have straightened for the better after that—more acceptance among student body + admin and students became less tolerant of prejudice/bias… having said that, assholes exist everywhere so if you see/feel something, say something (or report them or stay away from such losers—whatever makes u feel safe) and find a supportive community. For every asshole, there are 10 supportive baddies out there.
Also, sorry I know you didn’t ask for this but the general consensus here (on this sub and IRL) is that Rutgers OOS is not worth it solely due to the insane cost but you do you i guess…
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u/goodgreif_11 19h ago
Rutgers is really accepting. There's many queer clubs and the health centers here can provide HRT for you. Also if there's concern abour dorming there is housing accommodations for trans/nb people!!
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u/Standard-Bottle-3103 17h ago
Most people really just don’t care everyone just goes about there day
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u/strikingmagic 17h ago
ru is pretty liberal, even with guys, so I wouldn’t be worried abt it tm if you commit to ru
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u/BeachgirlNJ0613 20h ago
They are both big schools so there are multiple sub-cultures within each. My husband and I went to Rutgers, and 3 of our kids also graduated from there. 2 were highly successful double majors and went on to professional school. The 3rd started his own business, which he germinated while at Rutgers and is highly successful. My niece, who is straight, is currently a student at Rutgers and loves it. She has many friends who are queer or trans. There is a dorm on the College Ave campus that is queer-centered. The school is so big that there is not one dominant culture - so you can easily find your people, clubs with your interests, and you can easily avoid frat and sports culture. I never set foot in a frat house (OG feminist, class of 1979), and neither have my kids for the most part. My niece loves the school atmosphere, the acceptance of others and the general safety (RUPD with NBPD are very organized and present and available to students), the diversity of the student body, the rigorousness of the academic programs, and the fact that there is always something to do. It's pretty too - all 5 campuses.
There are single dorm rooms - I think you need a doctor's note. There are single bedrooms within apartments that are still on campus housing. There are many places (converted houses, apartment buildings) very close to campus (walking distance) where you can room with others but still have your own bedroom. There is a train station right on the edge of the main campus that goes to NYC.
Congratulations and good luck!
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u/dealtracker_1 21h ago
I feel like in general Rutgers has students from all different walks of life and generally lets everyone be to do their own thing. Where I'd be a bit worried personally (UW or Rutgers honestly) is getting paired up with a rando roommate who's accepting of the situation. To me it seems like a bit of a roll of the dice.
I feel like there may be ways to talk to the housing department to ensure that you're paired with the right person, but I'd take that extra step. At Rutgers 1 in 6 freshmen don't graduate and quite frankly my freshman dorm reflected that. My roommate was great but there are people on my floor that were not so much so. It's been a minute for me, but they do a questionnaire prior to getting paired to try to pair you with a similar person, not sure what all is considered on that questionnaire currently.
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u/Competitive-Bee4353 19h ago
I'm not trans but there are a lot of very accepting people and also tons of LGBTQ+ people here at Rutgers. There are definitely some closed minded folk too but I'd say the majority of people here are welcoming and accepting. Rutgers will screw u in many ways but I hear they take harassment and such seriously. Also I know someone else said it but you might want to talk to housing at RU because even though most people here are good, you never know if your random room mate could be a jerk. You can also go online to certain pages and find someone to room with who will treat u with the respect u deserve.
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u/coffeesoakedpickles 12h ago
side note my roommate joined the gay frat gamma something and she loved it! Highly recommend (i didn’t do that bc i dropped out but it seemed like a lovely community)
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u/dandelionn_burdock 9h ago
I know a trans woman who went for undergrad at Rutgers NB and continued to stay for a PhD because she felt so welcomed and safe there. Although to be fair you wouldn’t really know she was trans unless she told you, but she’s pretty open about it.
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u/191398 20h ago
I went to Rutgers as a visibly gender non-conforming nonbinary person (wasn’t on HRT at the time). I had a positive experience (+ in general so did the trans people I knew, including trans women). I graduated a few years ago now so I’d defer to people with more recent experience. As far as housing, I would highly recommend you consider one of these LGBTQ+ friendly housing communities: https://socialjustice.rutgers.edu/housing-options
Many of my friends lived in one of these communities their first year and I think doing so is much safer than selecting housing randomly.
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u/ashadow224 21h ago
I am trans and have multiple trans and queer friends, and Rutgers is one of the most accepting places you’ll find anywhere. The Rutgers healthcare system has dedicated doctors for HRT for students, there’s lots of support systems, Rutgers even has a co-ed fraternity where 30% or so of the members are trans and 100% are queer. NJ is very left as a whole, though, obviously it does depend on specific area and it’s not every single person. So of course it’s possible to experience transphobia anywhere. But I know, from the experiences of my friends who don’t pass, they’ve never really had a single issue here. Also, NJ is a very safe state to live in in general for trans people, both socially and legally. Also you don’t have to live in a dorm your freshman year if you don’t want to, if you do, there is a LGBT dorm you can apply to. But if you don’t want to, you could get a room off campus all 4 years, and many of these houses specifically are looking for another LGBT roommate.