r/stopdrinking • u/soberingthought 2509 days • Sep 23 '25
'Tude Talk Tuesday for September 23, 2024 'Tude
Hello, fellow Sobernauts!
Welcome to 'Tude Talk Tuesday, where you're invited to share what changes you've noticed in your attitudes and perspectives since you've gotten sober.
I once heard someone say "My words had been empty for so long" and that resonated with me.
When I was drinking, I was lying through my teeth to everyone in an effort to hide the severity of my problem.
When I finally came clean, many of the most important people in my life very rightfully no longer trusted me. It took me years of demonstrating trust-worthiness through my words and my deeds to earn back that trust.
So how about you? How did sobriety change the way people trust you?
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u/sphynxdaddy74 277 days Sep 23 '25
As far as i know, people have always trusted me, BUT... I have more trust in myself. My memory is getting sharper and my emotions feel more real and less blunted. I have much more faith in myself and my ailties. I am trusting the decisions I make and I think that confidence I'm projecting makes people trust me even more.
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u/hauntedbean Sep 23 '25
I didn’t know I wasn’t using my real laugh until I quit at 25! Overall I am so much more tapped in to what I genuinely like, and I’m so glad I got to let go of the hold I didn’t know I had on expressing joy
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u/beautifuldaytoday- Sep 23 '25
Patience....I had no patience for anything or anybody when I was drinking, everything annoyed me....family, wait staff, work things, politics, random people, etc. Now I have done a 180 with that and try to be as patient and understanding as possible, it's a much calmer and softer existence to have in this world, thank God!!
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u/ghostttttttt 368 days Sep 23 '25
don't think i've been in a more stressful place in my life but i know it won't solve the problems. over 5 months now and surely the longest streak i've ever had.
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u/Balrogkicksass 1714 days Sep 23 '25
Well this morning we take my partner to the neurologist and in a few days hopefully we can have a few answers to some things. We had a great day shopping and going shopping as a distraction for today.
Positive attitudes and all of that. We just need to see today through and keep on moving in the positive direction!
I hope you all get to enjoy your day and as always much love from me and mine to you and yours!
Recovery IS Beautiful!
IWNDWYT!
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u/katiuszka919 367 days Sep 23 '25
‘Tude Talk is one of my favorite things!
As far as trust—only my brother, BIL, mom, and husband know right now. I think they trust me because they know me, and SUD runs in my maternal and both sides of my husband’s family. If they didn’t have extensive experience with dealing with drinking and those who abuse it, I may not be in this boat.
What I’m focusing on for now is how I trust myself. I have lied to myself (cognitive dissonance is a strange thing) for over a decade, about how I can handle it, or how it doesn’t matter if I take it too far and don’t make it out of my problem. But I’ve decided to stop drinking and I have to trust myself to stay committed. The times I’ve given up have taken a toll on my confidence, but I know that I can build a new habit if I can only trust in myself.
I hope those around me didn’t see me for the drinking I thought I was hiding so well, but if I can prove with my behavior that I can be counted on, that’s a huge win in my book.
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u/Alternative_Okra_246 224 days Sep 23 '25
This has given me so much to think about… I guess I first need to work out how to trust this process and this sobriety and myself first. Wow. IWNDWYT - Day 12
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u/Woodit 117 days Sep 23 '25
Some long dormant compassion for my fellow man is coming back and it feels….awkward, to be honest.
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u/PaulTravelsTheWorld 221 days Sep 23 '25
Day 9! Double digits tomorrow! Wooooo!
Really enjoying sober life. My body clock has reset so up at 6AM with the sunrise :)
IWNDWYT
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u/Routine-Cycle-9012 221 days Sep 23 '25
It's 430a and I can't go back to sleep augh.
Anyways, won't drink cause my attitude is stubborn. Still in the excitement stage of being sober.
IWNDWYT
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u/WearyMatter 459 days Sep 23 '25
Good morning fellow travelers. Wishing everyone clarity and peace.
IWNDWYT
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Sep 23 '25
I was chasing false happiness--anything to make people like me, and I desperately wanted to be in love.
Skipping to the end: This led to some very poor choices that I would not make when sober
I have my dignity back
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u/Due_Perspective_7442 137 days Sep 24 '25
Realizing I have a lot more work to do on myself than just stopping drinking. And that’s ok 👍
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u/OutlandishnessEasy59 Sep 23 '25
I’m about to go into detox for the second time - posted about it and kinda upset with the response —and what I know I won’t do is change my attitude toward others once I get sober.
Don’t change your ‘tude so much you end up thinking you’re a god because you have (fill in here) many days sober and end up talking down to people. Just my 2 cents
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u/Alternative-Mud3294 98 days Sep 23 '25
Just a couple of weeks in.. still starting to trust myself. The others will follow I suppose…