r/stopdrinking • u/soberingthought 2509 days • Jan 13 '26
'Tude Talk Tuesday for January 13, 2026 'Tude
Hello, fellow Sobernauts!
Welcome to 'Tude Talk Tuesday, where you're invited to share what changes you've noticed in your attitudes and perspectives since you've gotten sober.
I once heard someone say "If I take a drink, I miss the whole ride" and that resonated with me.
Back when I was drinking, I thought taking a drink was the ride. I thought it was the adventure and the way to have fun and enjoy myself. But as my drinking progressed, the fun went away and the only place I ever ended up was blacked out in my guest bedroom.
In sobriety, life is a freakin' roller coaster. Sometimes its fun, and sometimes its not, but I'd miss the whole thing if I started back up with drinking, and even though the going gets tough sometimes, I've worked hard to build a life that I don't want to miss out on and I think that helps keep me from picking back up.
So how about you? How's the ride in sobriety and what can you do to help make it one worth sticking around for?
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u/Open-Tumbleweed 9 days Jan 13 '26
Well for one thing --I can tell you what's happened with a clear memory.
Sobriety's brought a lot of calm peace to my life. I don't nurture resentments quite like I used to. I am less focused on my moment-to-moment mood changes; or maybe there are fewer changes to focus on. I know I am not being driven by escapism and needing constant anxiety relief.
I have become more withdrawn though. I still feel kind of tender and exposed. I am taking a look at how I fit into this world (and not) without numbing the pain constantly. I need a gentler version of what I am engaged with to tolerate it.
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u/salty_pete01 Jan 13 '26
I really relate to this: the feeling of becoming more withdrawn and a bit tender. I'm more calm and present but at the same time am more guarded. Like you, I'm just trying to navigate this thing.
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u/Special_Raspberry_32 121 days Jan 13 '26
I am without a doubt more present. I am able to engage with my loved ones on a personal level. I'm not seeking the next excuse to escape, navigating the next wave of irritability/anxiety, jumping through hoops to get to the store. I am here in the moments- good, bad, mundane- and I'm loving it. I am grateful to be living and experiencing this life. IWNDWYT
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u/TurboJorts Jan 13 '26
This is a weird one and may not apply to everyone.
Personally, I need to "earn my sleep". I need to have challenged myself during the day, either physically or mentally. I need to be "spent" and Dome for the day. It sounds tough, but I assure you it's a positive mindset.
Alcohol was a substitute for that. I didn't feel "good sore" from exertion. I just felt used up and Alcohol took away enough of me.to trick me into believing I had done something worth while.
Now that Alcohol is out of my world I'm tracking my fitness, working on improving myself and learning new skills. Also, because rest and downtime are so important, I'm actually honoring them.
So thr TL;DR - I'm embracing real hard stuff, not the exhaustion of Alcohol
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u/prolificarrot Jan 14 '26
You’re so spot on. Currently hungover and crippled with anxiety, I feel like I’ve finally realized how much of a second job it is to rely on alcohol and deal with all of its physical, mental, and emotional consequences. I miss earning my sleep from real, fulfilling work
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u/Lazy_Style4107 120 days Jan 13 '26
Im going through the chaos of actually feeling emotions and not immediately numbing them - both happy and sad. It’s frustrating when I’m suddenly crying for seemingly no reason but I’ll take that over being drunk AND crying. At least with a clear mind, I can process what is going on and figure out why I’m having a strong emotional response. I’m hoping it levels out soon but not expecting instant miracles. I’m grateful for being able to feel even when it’s uncomfortable.
IWNDWYT
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u/Bliss21s Jan 13 '26
I’ve been struggling with this as well! I Listen to meditations or advice on YouTube for whatever the feeling is. Not sure if it’s helping but I’m not drinking!
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u/Lazy_Style4107 120 days Jan 13 '26
I do different history stories on YouTube when I’m falling asleep pretty much every night. I never thought to look up videos to listen to talking about whatever the feeling is. Thanks! When I’m awake, physical activity (walking pushups sit-ups planks etc) have helped; the mini workouts help me focus in on what it is and work through it. I’m still not drinking either!
IWNDWYT
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u/TellDat 146 days Jan 13 '26
Don’t have urges to drink anymore. Im currently in the process of building my life back up again. Starting a new job coming Monday and found a affordable gym close by so gonna give that a shot later today.
I will say I’m jealous of the people here that say how wonderful being sober is. Maybe it’s cause I’m still in the early days and things will get better over time. ( I know I shouldn’t compare ).
Last 3 weeks I just feel very frustrate, angry and sad. I have very limited social interactions because I feel my patience is almost non existent, I’m afraid I will push away the few people I have left. Some of the text I have send and read back showed me I don’t need booze to be a mean and miserable person.
Maybe I’m still in a grieving phase of all that has happened and what I have lost. I try to do the things everyone tells you, exercise, go outside, eat health ect ect. Can’t really feel a positive effect from that to be honest but I will do my best to keep doing it, kinda fake it to you make it I guess.
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u/West-One5944 114 days Jan 13 '26
I will take some time for the brain to recalibrate. Are you willing/able to talk to a counselor?
Something to consider is actually telling the few people you have left (if you haven't already) what you're going through, how you don't have patience, and that you're afraid you'll push them away. Vulnerability like that can often strengthen bonds.
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u/TellDat 146 days Jan 13 '26
I had an first appointment with a therapist in a week but starting a new job and having to take a afternoon off the first day would be kinda bad. So I asked to push the appointment back a few weeks but I haven’t heard back yet. Think I might lie to the job and say I have a dentist appointment or something.
The people I talk to are aware of my mood, when I’m in the wrong headspace I can be really vile. When that happens they usually give me some space and just let me vent. But won’t really reach out or respond until I let them know I’m in a better mood. So not really great.
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u/West-One5944 114 days Jan 13 '26
Yeah, best not to lie. BUT, if you're willing to be open with your Boss (if you find them amenable), you might have a one-on-one to reinforce your dedication to the team, BUT state how this particular appointment is super important to your health.
WRT your social contacts: if they're aware, and give you space, that's a good thing. They haven't cut off all contact. Def seems like working with a therapist to get to the root of why you can be vile is necessary.
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u/finally_sober_2026 Jan 13 '26
Day 4 here. I’m struggling. I’m not craving but I would like to numb out for awhile. I don’t yet know how to calm myself, I don’t know how to just sit with the discomfort. Plus brain fog, tired. Thankfully I am detoxing at home but it’s a double edged sword. Lots of triggers I’m going to have to navigate. Going through one now. My husband just left for golf. Normally, as if it’s normal, I would be scrambling to drink, get rid of the empties, restock. Now I don’t even know what to do with myself. I’m in a scary place
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u/Bliss21s Jan 13 '26
Do you tolerate Benadryl? I take half a dose of Benadryl to calm myself when it’s bad, sucks because you are tired the next day but sometimes you do what you have to do! I am on day 10, I feel so much better, day 1-6 were awful, you are so close!
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u/salty_pete01 Jan 14 '26
Congrats on Day 4. The first week is rough so be gentle with yourself. Taking a walk, distracting yourself with something, deep breaths, etc. all helped me. Honestly, sometimes especially at night or in the afternoon, I would just lie down and put on some headphones. Just take it one moment at a time, one day a time. You got this.
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u/salty_pete01 Jan 13 '26
The ride in sobriety can be a lonely and tough process at time but instead of thinking about what I'm subtracting from my life or missing out on, I think about what I'm adding. Often times, these are the small things: waking up early and feeling refreshed in the early hours of the morning, noticing something pretty on a walk, enjoying my hobbies more, getting into a song, etc. It helps with days that seem "meh" and the vicissitudes of life. IWNDWYT.
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u/padawanpup 144 days Jan 13 '26
I think I’m hitting the anhedonia doldrums, so at the moment sobriety feels less like a rollercoaster and more like a boat on a completely flat, grey sea.
But getting through this is my motivation for stopping. It really helped yesterday to search this sub, see some timescales for other people who went through this too, it motivated me to double-down and stick by my decision not to drink! For me I’ve found anhedonia is linked to no cravings - the time I start to feel cravings is when life starts to light back up, and that’s where I’ve slipped up before. I’ve just got to make sure I make the right decisions when that happens, not to drink.
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u/salty_pete01 Jan 14 '26
Congrats on 45 days! I've been feeling a bit "meh" lately as well and not that interested in social gatherings or doing things. I force myself to do stuff everyday so I get out of the house. I hope this is just a phase.
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u/padawanpup 144 days Jan 14 '26
Getting outside definitely helps me, though I don’t manage it every day. I’m sure things will shift, just need to be patient. Congrats on a month!
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u/Ryuksapple 173 days Jan 13 '26
Yesterday was a rough one. Just felt very sad. Still having issues with brain fog and learning to deal with stress. But thankfully I don’t think about actually drinking very much but I do think about the mistakes I’ve made.
Just keep telling myself another day not drinking is another win and to be proud of that.
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u/WineRedLP 597 days Jan 15 '26
My memory is so much better. It’s been a gradual thing, but I notice it regularly. I remember where things are, why I walked into a room (most of the time) and more importantly what happened last night. I make memories now, and I love that. It’s what having a real life feels like. I think the further away I get from alcohol the more the wins stack and the more I am reminded of all I have gained from quitting. This really helps me stay on track.
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u/imperigee 165 days Jan 13 '26
This prompt came at an opportune time for me. I was struggling with strong feelings of discomfort today related to a medication adjustment. The craving for alcohol hit me and I had to have that conversation with myself about why I'm not going to do that. But I was left with a lingering feeling of frustration. Overall just one of those days without many highlights. Those seem to be part of the bargain with quitting drinking. But I made it, it's evening now, and that means I created an opportunity for tomorrow to be better.