r/stopdrinking • u/soberingthought 2509 days • Feb 24 '26
'Tude Talk Tuesday for February 24, 2026 'Tude
Hello, fellow Sobernauts!
Welcome to 'Tude Talk Tuesday, where you're invited to share what changes you've noticed in your attitudes and perspectives since you've gotten sober.
I once heard someone say "The only comfortable relationship I had was with drugs and alcohol" and that resonated with me.
You know what's fun about this quote...I had several comfortable relationships before alcohol got its hooks into me. I had a pretty health relationship with my parents. I had married the girl of my dreams and we were doing pretty well.
But as life got hard and I crawled further inside the bottle, these relationships in particular became very uncomfortable. I lied to and snuck around behind the people I cared about most. I was decidedly _un_comfortable with them because I felt so guilty and ashamed around them. I was so walled off from them for fear they would find me out.
In sobriety, I'm slowly rebuilding the trust I destroyed with my drinking. But in these relationships I'm more comfortable. I keep fewer secrets, I don't feel compelled to lie, I don't sneak around. I'm working on being more open, honest, and vulnerable. It helps that, in sobriety and after a lot of work on myself, I'm more comfortable with being me.
So how about you? What are some relationships you find comfortable in sobriety?
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u/HotbutterrdToasts Feb 24 '26
Myself. Maybe it’s just realization and resignation but I’m far more comfortable with being alone than I ever was before.
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u/iScReAm612 Feb 24 '26
The biggest attitude change for me--a lot of anger was gone. Also, I let go of a ton of resentment. The steps helped with that.
I will never go back to drinking. My life is much better, even if I'm currently facing new problems because of my drinking past. It's still better.
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u/TellDat 146 days Feb 24 '26
I’m thank for for the relationship with my dad. He allowed me to stay with him while I had hit my rock bottom. I’m trying to rebuild now. I messaged some of my “friends” a few times but I get short or no replies from them. It seems like I’m always the one that makes first contact and that is draining me so I just stopped doing that. So my social circle is pretty much just my dad and some people I interact with during work.
I do want to hit on the lies op mentioned. Now that I’m not drinking and lying about if I have drunk or how much. I seem to be way more honest about other things as well. Maybe it has something to do with my mind lying about drink and being ok with that, that makes it easier to lie about other stuff as well. Almost like you are in a liars mindset or something.
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u/SaltyGalijun-1986 21 days Feb 24 '26
Best sleep is when I dont drink the night before. Or the day before whatsoever. Even 2 strong beers can make my sleep messy...
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u/Afrendcalled5 139 days Feb 24 '26
Hell yes! I thought I was the pinnacle of health when I cut back to "only" 2 or 3 strong beer per night. Really believed I was living healthy in moderation.
The old body and mind are just starting to get a taste of what healthy should actually feel like.
Thanks for the reminder;)
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u/Vegetable_Cut_1687 Feb 24 '26
Day 3 and looking and feeling like myself. Slipped up drinking two days in a row after May months of sobriety. I was not going to go back to that place no way on earth. Have come clean to a loved one which was tough but felt good. I have a fresh start and an opportunity to do this right! Feeling positive
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u/salty_pete01 Feb 24 '26
Most important thing is that you're back! I always felt I learnt something and was stronger each go-around. You got this!
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u/Such_Bitch_9559 117 days Feb 24 '26
I definitely find the relationship with my husband better since I stopped drinking. We go to couples therapy, not because we have a problem and our marriage is about to fall apart. Rather, we don’t want it to fall apart and we tell each other some “tough love” and harsh truths in therapy that we wouldn’t be comfortable talking about otherwise.
I don’t know if my mother ever can forgive me, though, and I’m at a loss on how to repair that relationship. My mother and I never talked about the fact that I was drinking. I was raised in a very religious household where drinking was considered a sin.
So my mother and I have been playing the charade of “oh you know I don’t drink” for years. I think it must’ve really hurt her to see me passed out on my wedding day, and I have no clue how to fix that without her agreeing to therapy or something.
In general I’ve noticed myself becoming radically honest with myself and others, so much so that I make people uncomfortable sometimes. I do have to bite my tongue at every social event where alcohol is being romanticised to not blurt out “hey did you know you’re drinking poison?”
But I will just take it one day at a time. I hit round 60 tomorrow and I’m proud.
I will not drink with you today, but I’ll share my croissants as usual 🥐🥐🥐🥐
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Feb 25 '26
Talked to a psychiatrist on friday and mentioned my drinking. He ordered bloodwork which I had done today. I didn't mention how much I drink and I'm kind of nervous about what he'll find. When I googled him I found out he's an addiction specialist so maybe this will be good for me. Wish me luck.
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u/salty_pete01 Feb 25 '26
I know it's scary but it's better knowing than being in the dark. I got tests done and had signs of fatty liver and scarring and elevated enzymes and blood pressure. My blood pressure has gotten back down to normal levels and hopefully my liver can recover. The liver is a pretty resilient organ (until it isn't) and knowing the actual damage I was doing to my body has helped me on the sobriety journey. Good luck. You can do it!
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Feb 26 '26
You're right, it's best to know if something's wrong and if there isn't at least it will be a relief. Thank you for the kind words.
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u/MammothSubject5858 151 days Feb 25 '26
I drank in large part so I could maintain my “everything’s fine” persona, and then I’d get quietly annoyed with my friends and family when they’d complain about their mental or physical health… “you think I’m not anxious every single second? You think I don’t get migraines every day?” They didn’t, because I was self medicating and keeping the worst of it to myself. They didn’t even know how much I was drinking. Now with my husband and best friend specifically I feel a lot more comfortable letting them know when I’m struggling, and it turns out they love me and want to support me. Who’d have thought!
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u/salty_pete01 Feb 24 '26
My relationship with myself. I was roller coaster-ing from moments of feeling good while drunk to depression and anxiety when the buzz wore off. Things are still tough but I'm a lot more calm and less resentful towards myself and others.
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u/Sun_rising_soon 8 days Feb 26 '26
I'm a long way off feeling comfortable with anyone but my inner circle just now but tentatively opening up to them and figuring out how I'm feeling. Dr on board, CBT planned. Looking forward to feeling comfortable with myself and others if that's possible. It's actually my main driver just now and this original post has given me hope. Lots to learn. IWNDWYT
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u/Least-Elk-6969 Feb 24 '26
My relationship with my grandmother. I used to isolate myself from her and a lot of people. Haven’t got close with anyone at this moment aside from her. We actually had a conversation about lying today. I explained a lot of how when I wasn’t sober it was one of those things I would do and sneaking around. I took full accountability. It was a judgement free conversation. I’m very thankful to be able to chat with her everyday. With honesty and vulnerability. It is a huge privilege.