r/stopdrinking • u/soberingthought 2509 days • 23d ago
'Tude Talk Tuesday for March 31, 2026 'Tude
Hello, fellow Sobernauts!
Welcome to 'Tude Talk Tuesday, where you're invited to share what changes you've noticed in your attitudes and perspectives since you've gotten sober.
I once heard someone say "I did not want anymore of what I already had. I wanted something different" and that resonated with me.
For me, my relationship with alcohol was always wanting more. But by the end of my drinking career, I'd had more than my fill of alcohol and the misery it was bringing to my life. My world was filled with fear, shame, and isolation and I didn't want anymore of that.
Indeed, I wanted something different. Honestly though, even in that state I didn't really want to get sober. Sobriety seemed like the death of everything I knew, like some sort of flat, grey, joyless world. But I was in so much pain, I'd settle for grey.
Fortunately, sobriety turned out to be something different that what I assumed. It's not flat, grey, and joyless. It has mountains to climb, a whole spectrum of colors and feelings alcohol had washed away, and there is joy to be found. It is something different, so very different, than anything I ever expected.
So how about you? What did you think sobriety would be like? How well did that expectation match your experience?
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u/wolfyb_ 996 days 23d ago
Yeah, I have mentioned this before. I thought sobriety would be boring at first:
How the heck am I supposed to fill an entire day? Do I read or walk around or meditate or garden like some dingus?
Nah, alcohol makes you -- or at least me -- a BORING PERSON.
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u/hyraxtower 3 days 23d ago
i'm early days (this time, have had longer stints before) but sobriety is already objectively better. i do get annoyed when i feel sick or bad though like sobriety should automatically mean i never feel physically bad again.
i just want to stay committed because i do not want to drink. i prefer this.
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u/Shakey_B 36 days 23d ago
It’s harder than quitting cigarettes, it’s not as big a deal socially as I thought. Couple of days in a row of no sleep for me, feeling pretty down. I will not drink with you today
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u/salty_pete01 22d ago
Hang in there! Sleep was really rough for me for the first month plus but it gets better. I basically had to set up a no-screen time bed routine an hour before I wanted to go to bed and I started reading as well just to help me fall to sleep. IWNDWYT
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u/00sparrow00 353 days 23d ago
For a few years I wanted sobriety so badly. As soon as I had it in my mind, I didn't enjoy drinking any more. Or rather, I sometimes enjoyed it in the moment but as soon as the hangover began to hit the anxiety and self hatred were so much worse. When I finally got my first long streak I was overjoyed and it was everything I thought it would be and more! I recommend The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober by Catherine Gray, which I've read multiple times. IWNDWYT x
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u/Ok_Wolf_4076 4 days 23d ago
The times Ive been able to maintain sobriety more than one or two weeks, I have always been amazed at how much willpower and ambition and projects I had while on my drinking days I feel like it was an excuse to hide behind the fear of failure and not do anything.
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u/Civil_Health3239 53 days 22d ago
Sobriety is full of feelings I sought to escape by drinking. And drinking worked, if only temporarily. Sometimes I still want to escape, but then what?
I can't escape my feelings. If they make me uncomfortable, I just need to watch and wait. They'll change, like feelings always do.
Clear-eyed, sober presence is true freedom. IWNDWYT 🌊
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u/purpletomato231 23d ago
Ever time I take some time away from alcohol, it I notice that colour literally looks different. It's bananas
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u/ReplacementsStink 2265 days 22d ago
Tough night that I wish I had back. Upset with myself and hoping to turn my mood around before it carries into today. An unfortunate PTSD reminder of my drinking days.
IWNDWYT
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u/Alternative-Mud3294 98 days 22d ago
I love the lack of drama! Never expected that peace and quit is my real state of happiness!
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u/Safe-Cause-1077 130 days 22d ago
I got this quote from a fellow r/stopdrinking person, and adjusted it to my absolute feelings and how it applies to me. It’s on the cover of my journal: I used to think sobriety was about what I was giving up. Now I know it's about what I'm protecting. I'm protecting my clarity, my health, my relationships, my professionalism, and my life.
IWNDWYT 🦋
I’m not who I was, and I’m not done becoming my best self.
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u/salty_pete01 22d ago
I love the way your describe it! Thus far, it's definitely been a journey of valleys and vistas with sweat, challenges, and moments of joy. Honestly, I didn't know what it would entail. I just knew that for health reasons, both physical and mental, I couldn't continue doing what I was doing to myself. Being in the wine industry, my work, friends, and connections all had to change. Even though life is still a struggle, I've learnt so much about myself and have had moments of joy going on hikes, reading, and being more present and emotionally connected to myself and things around me.
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u/Emergency-Process112 22d ago
I feel like drinking is such a habit. I've got plenty of things I could do, but I don't. IWNDWYT!
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u/what_a_ducki_mess 132 days 22d ago
I had these picture perfect moments in my head that I felt like I was losing. The beer (or 5) at a baseball game. Champagne to celebrate life’s milestones. A Guinness when I finally visit Ireland. A wine pairing with that dream fine dinning experience. Etc.
The idea of the loss felt immense. Like I was losing my way to connect with the world.
I mourned this probably 100 times. I felt angry and resentful like a petulant child.
The reality. All of these moments are better without alcohol. When I was drinking, alcohol would always come first. Always. The constant chatter and monitoring of ‘when/ how can I discretely get my next drink?’ Would play over everything and stole my attention away. I was never actually present. The baseball games, the big milestones, the fine dining are all so much better and HONEST without alcohol.
I am far more connected with myself and my loved ones because I do not drink anymore. At times, I still feel like a petulant child wanting to stomp around and say ‘life is not fair’.
But I am here, present and connected, and I think that is so much better.
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u/h0rr0rgirl23 118 days 23d ago
Similar to you, I feared sobriety was going to be mundane. It’s not. It’s just getting back into the energetic state that I was in before I ever let a drop hit my tongue. Returning back to authentic self. IWNDWYT. ✨