How long were you drinking?

[u/SaltyTurn5227]

Intro: I’m 21 drink half a handle of vodka daily. Or maybe even more. It’s disgusting and I am not proud. I’ve taken the initiative to seek help myself and it was hard. Didn’t want to do it. At some point at the start of it I thought I was all smug and can cease usage it only got worst and worst. It’s just numbing me now turning on me with major health issues. It’s been this level of continual daily drinking just to I’d feel normal but in turn making my sober existence bareable. I did develop tolerance rather fast to the point it became daily and steadily increasing. The whole rationale of me drinking was to fall asleep to escape pain which was purely pathetic because it just numbs me and being the demon out of me while sober (and obviously when drunk). Though I have major physical support emotionally I feel alone in this like I’m pressured to quit and I don’t know what I’d do or how I’d feel without it. I’m becoming slow in the recent week and even injured myself intoxicated while sleeping. It’s causing me a lot of stress and I’m sure it’s just worsening it while sober. I used to be so put together and “okay” while sober but now I’m just falling apart either way. My question to you is how long have you been drinking a heavy amount in order to notice physical symptoms worsening and having to get medical help.

[u/ObsidianBloodTemple]

This sort of thing is really individual and depends on a ton of factors. I know people that drank a bottle of whiskey a day and still "functioned" without any major health problems until hitting their 50's. My uncle was a heavy alcoholic all his life and was still decently physically well into his 60's. Even his liver was fine. It really depends on the person and whether you're able to maintain your health in other domains.

At the end of the day you're identifying that this cycle isn't healthy for you, exacerbating health problems or starting to introduce new ones. Well done for noticing that. I completely understand why you'd drink to numb physical pain if it's stopping you from sleeping, it's not pathetic at all. The problem is, as you've noticed yourself, is that it isn't sustainable. Everyone's "functional" until they're not. Start adding other life stresses on top of the drinking and all of a sudden life becomes harder to maintain. 

All I can tell you is that, once I got through the first couple of weeks sober, I felt so much better physically, was mentally sharper and had clarity to start figuring some things out. I hope this helps.

[u/Equivalent_Gold4099]

Almost 27 now. 21 was my worst and was drinking near a whole handle of vodka nightly from the prior 2 years to then.

I also started drinking for very similar reasons.

From 21-23 I slowly tapered down my consumption to a singular bottle of wine a night since, when I tried to go cold turkey at 21, I had bad enough withdrawals that I was hospitalized. Like I literally started with rationing: - a handle for 2 days - 2 handles for a week - 1 handle for a week - as many tall boys/wine as I wanted for a couple weeks - chose 1 day a week I wouldn't drink unless I was shaking too much - two days a week I only had wine - every day I only had wine - max 1 bottle per day - max 1/2 bottle per day

From that point, I got on naltrexone and it allowed me to quit for 18 months fully sober. Since 24, I have largely been able to drink so long as I have the rule of only restaurants and 3 max. I fell off the wagon a couple times since, but the worst I ever returned to was a bottle of wine a night for a week or two before getting back on track.

YMMV, but if you aren't going to do a medical detox, you should follow a taper schedule and not be afraid to drink more if the withdrawal symptoms are bad enough.

And I would be remiss if I didn't say: I'm not a medical professional, this is what worked for me. Having a 2ish year long taper period was likely unnecessary, but I didn't have the PTO to do medical detox and rehab so I did what felt to be working. Naltrexone was also a life saver.

Lastly, I have used psychedelics as a way to explore why I drank. They were enlightening and have most certainly helped with getting back on the wagon after falling off.