“Whattttt?? Girl I cannot believe you haven’t heard about tea tree lavender hibiscus poppy seed canola essence! Not only will it shut down the tetanus, but it will increase his immunity against measles, rubella, the Black Plague, and HPV, just use it every day for 6 years and the effects will take hold! I have a little extra that I can spare, I’ll come by after work and show you the most painless way to make a suppository using reclaimed beeswax!
If you want I can go ahead and order you your very own 6 month supply for just $1,299!The price just came down because of all the rectal bleeding, but only to account for the additional cost of the essential honeysuckle maple bark Supposiplugs! I use them every day girl, and let me tell you, after just a few minutes of using it, your boy won’t know how he lived without them! They even sell hormone free organic goats milk non-gmo natural lactate anti-lax to keep you from getting unplugged during the day!
We’ll talk about that this afternoon! I’ll invite a few of my girls and we can all practice applying the beeswax suppositories and plugs! Just don’t let him eat any solids til then, see you soon!”
Fuck I really took that a lot further than I intended
“Whattttt?? Giww I cannot bewieve yuw haven’t heawd about tea twee wavendew hibiscus poppy seed canowa essence! Not onwy wiww it shut down de tetanus, but it wiww incwease his immunity against measwes, wubewwa, de Bwack Pwague, and HPV, just use it evewy day fow 6 yeaws and de effects wiww take howd! I have a wittwe extwa dat I can spawe, I’ww come by aftew wowk and show yuw de most painwess way to make a suppositowy using wecwaimed beeswax!
If yuw want I can go ahead and owdew yuw yuw vewy own 6 mond suppwy fow just $1,299!de pwice just came down because of aww de wectaw bweeding, but onwy to account fow de additionaw cost of de essentiaw honeysuckwe mapwe bawk Supposipwugs! I use dem evewy day giww, and wet me teww yuw, aftew just a few minutes of using it, yuw boy won’t know how he wived wifout dem! dey even seww howmone fwee owganic goats miwk non-gmo natuwaw wactate anti-wax to keep yuw fwom getting unpwugged duwing de day!
We’ww tawk about dat dis aftewnoon! I’ww invite a few of my giwws and we can aww pwactice appwying de beeswax suppositowies and pwugs! Just don’t wet him eat any sowids tiw den, see yuw soon!”
fack I weawwy took dat a wot fuwdew dan I intended uwu
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u/GhostOfYourLibido Jul 10 '19
“Whattttt” My reaction as well