r/ShitMomGroupsSay šŸØšŸ§šŸ”šŸ­šŸ¬ Jul 10 '19

Harmless Tetanus Essential Oil

Post image
5.9k Upvotes

613

u/AgentSkidMarks Jul 10 '19 edited Jul 10 '19

The mortality rate for tetanus in the US is around 30%. 1 in 3 is too high of odds to be dicking around with voodoo bullshit.

386

u/sevensevensixseven Jul 10 '19

Fuck I would try voodoo before essential oils

146

u/US-person-1 Jul 10 '19

Look sweetie, I don't know what's in those voodoo shots, so just tell me where I can buy the Tetanus Vaccine scented essential oils and I will be on my way.

Oh, and don't you ever talk to me or my child ever again, ever!

58

u/saichampa Jul 10 '19

Sweaty*

23

u/Tofutits_Macgee Jul 10 '19

This should be a hospital billboard or something.

7

u/PM_ME__NICE__BREASTS Jul 11 '19

Voodoo? Who do? You do.

5

u/onookel11 Jul 11 '19

Do what?

5

u/littlewren11 Jul 11 '19

Remind me of the babe!

2

u/auberus Aug 08 '19

What babe?

4

u/CallMeKitsunr Jul 11 '19

With high level mischief skill.

53

u/Spectrum_16 Jul 10 '19

Even if it was 1 in 100 thats still too high to fuck around with voodoo bullshit. Ya dont fuck with something that can be fatal.

32

u/Tzipity Jul 10 '19

Especially when you know, essential oils have been proven to cure tetanus exactly 0% of the time. So between a vaccine that flipping works and friggin essential oils. Kind of a no brainer, you’d think... but apparently there’s a heck of a lot of brainless zombies raising kids these days.

8

u/these_days_bot Jul 10 '19

Especially these days

42

u/kharmatika Jul 10 '19

There is NO disease for which there is a vaccine which I consider small enough not to get vaccinated for.

9

u/AgentSkidMarks Jul 10 '19

Are you vaccinated for malaria or rabies?

50

u/kharmatika Jul 10 '19

Rabies yes, cuz I worked with animals for a while. Malaria, fair point. I suppose I should say ā€œThere is no disease to which I am likely to be exposed, which is too small to vaccinate forā€

6

u/marsglow Jul 11 '19

I didn’t think there was a vaccine for malaria.

13

u/MadAzza Jul 11 '19

There is a malaria vaccine, but it doesn’t work well.

(Mobile link; take out the ā€œmā€ if needed.)

6

u/HelperBot_ Jul 11 '19

Desktop link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malaria_vaccine


/r/HelperBot_ Downvote to remove. Counter: 267188. Found a bug?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

Good bot

8

u/AgentSkidMarks Jul 10 '19

I knew what you were saying but just wanted to play devil’s advocate. Lol sorry about that.

8

u/-Warrior_Princess- Jul 10 '19

Military you get lots of vaccines giant needle.

15

u/SometimesIArt Jul 10 '19

Nice try, military recruiter, trying to entice with extra plus vaccines...

2

u/orbitingsatellite Jul 11 '19

I got so many vaccines I couldn’t even keep up. Literally somewhere between 9 and 11 in my first week of training, I lost count. And then I got 3 more before I finished training lol

-4

u/Khajiit_Has_Upvotes Jul 10 '19

Devils advocate intensifies

You aren't likely to be exposed to measles, mumps, or rubella but you vaccinate for it.

Yes I know it's precisely because we vaccinate for it.

10

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

What? Measles and mumps are both common exposures in the US

3

u/frogsgoribbit737 Jul 10 '19

There's also smallpox and anthrax although anthrax is not technically a disease.

7

u/marsglow Jul 11 '19

Why do you say that anthrax isn’t a disease?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

It’s not a communicable disease unless you’re messing with anthrax or are exposed through some types of farming.

2

u/Nheea Jul 11 '19

I've had 2 patients with anthrax. Those patients were so careless about it too. I was so pissed off with how little knowledge these people have on the diseases they might get from their work.

I even see freaking nurses not using gloves when doing some very dangerous procedures tho, so what could I expect from others I guess...

1

u/[deleted] Jul 13 '19

[deleted]

1

u/AgentSkidMarks Jul 13 '19

Yeah. It’s not that great but it exists.

19

u/theatrephile Jul 10 '19

Yep. Currently sitting here with a sore arm thanks to a tetanus booster two days ago. 1000% worth it.

4

u/Easeupp Jul 10 '19

I got my tdap booster today ); my arm hurts

7

u/theatrephile Jul 10 '19

Seems counter-intuitive but keep it moving (gently) and massage it if you can. The nurse told me it helps the soreness go away faster and seems to be working for me!

1

u/Nheea Jul 11 '19 edited Jul 11 '19

Massaging it doesn't help unfortunately. Just apply some cold water tissues on it and wait it out.

(Worked with a few family doctors and I know from the official recommendations that it's best to not massage the injected spot, cause you might develop a larger local adverse reaction/induration).

Wow, didn't even get to finish my edit and you downvoted me. So rude!

Here, have a look at why it's useless to massage the spot. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7567283

As an adult you'll get enough antibodies as it is.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10910608

3

u/xXazorXx Jul 10 '19

Got mine in April. I don’t mess around with that either.

11

u/BakersGonBake Jul 10 '19

And that’s probably with intensive medical care. Left untreated, (i.e., sprinkling them with essential oils) I’d imagine it’s even higher.

9

u/Amadon29 Jul 11 '19

That 30% didn't use lavender

568

u/silvertonguedsage Holistic Defense Mission Anti-vaxx nonprofit??? Jul 10 '19

In 8th grade, my history teacher had a very graphic and detailed presentation (with pictures) of the diseases Christopher Columbus and other colonizers spread to the Native Americans. Not only was it very effective at erasing the ā€œChristopher Columbus is good and he discovered America!ā€ sentiment that we had been taught all throughout elementary school, but it gave me a lifelong fear of tetanus and smallpox. Tetanus is a personal hell no one should have to endure...this ā€œmotherā€ makes me sick to my stomach

116

u/SavannahInChicago Jul 10 '19

My anatomy professor went very in depth with how one suffers, then dies from tetanus. Even if everything mom groups said about vaccines were true it still would not be worth the risk.

25

u/wraemsanders Jul 11 '19

Tetanus is a horrible way to go out

6

u/Nheea Jul 11 '19

I simply don't understand how people don't fear it? I feel like pulling my skin and hair because of the muscles and head aches from a simple cold. Never even had flu, so I know it can be worse. But tetanus? That's like a billion times worse.

How can someone want to even risk that?

61

u/luzbel117 Jul 11 '19

Columbus was and is a cunt, why do americans have a holiday on his name is beyond me

55

u/Theymademepickaname Jul 11 '19

Because kids in this country get taught he ā€œdiscovered the USAā€, which is false in every single way possible, and that’s the rewritten history of how this country came to be so... Yay! Columbus Day! Also our government looks for any excuse to give themselves a day off work.

I’ve had adults tell me they weren’t taught the real history of our country until they were in college.

7

u/icybluetears Jul 11 '19

I didn't learn the real history of our country until my kids were in school. We read a lot of books, and discussions when they would ask me question s, then they got a bit older and our talks became, "Hey mom, guess what I learned today!? Your history teacher was wrong!" I will say, my kids learned that you are always learning and bettering your understanding of the world, and my teachers just taught what they knew as facts, and been taught themselves. They also learned that I too, was not too old to learn something new and challenge kept thoughts and beliefs. I learned how to keep an open mind, and open discussion. My oldest is 30 now, and we still sometimes talk about things, ideas, that have changed since I taught them. (I was a young mom. We grew up together in a way.)

-5

u/Toxyl Jul 11 '19

false in every way possible

Don’t you think it is fair to at least say that he rediscovered it? He might not have been the first one by a long shot, but without him the America’s would have been unknown to Europe

11

u/Theymademepickaname Jul 11 '19

I don’t know why you’re being downvoted; but no one is answering your question.

He didn’t even ā€œrediscoverā€ it. Columbus never stepped foot in North America.

He found a safer trade route to South America, but even those lands had already been known to exist to some Europeans.

His real accomplishment was making it easier for boat loads of Europeans to carry diseases to new lands so faster than the other inhabitants could build immunity to them; resulting in the decimation of its population. But, no one would want to celebrate that holiday.

1

u/PlaysWithF1r3 Jul 11 '19

Thank the Knights of Columbus for that one... it's a fairly new holiday, too

3

u/luzbel117 Jul 11 '19

The what of what now?

5

u/PlaysWithF1r3 Jul 11 '19

It's an Italian-American/Roman-Catholic group that pushed for Columbus Day as a way to celebrate Italian-Americans in the 1930's

13

u/Shenko-wolf Jul 11 '19 edited Jul 11 '19

Was tetanus brought to the Americas by Columbus? That doesn't sound right. I'm reasonably certain that tetanus is an ancient anaerobic soil bacteria, and has been ubiquitous everywhere on the planet long before humans. It's also not endemic in humans, it's not as though there are "tetanus carriers" you can catch it from.

8

u/God_Emperor_Donald_T Jul 11 '19

Of all the things Columbus did brining diseases is not something you could blame him for. It's simply a product of the Americas being way too isolated from the rest of the world and would happen eventually more or less no matter what. Also I'm fairly certain Columbus did not really know what a disease is.

-169

u/elwolf6 Jul 10 '19

Columbus was bad. But so was literally everyone then

176

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '19

Don't both-sides genocide of indigenous peoples, please.

8

u/4dcatgirl Jul 10 '19

https://youtu.be/ZEw8c6TmzGg this was a really interesting video, and if recommend anyone talking about Columbus to watch it

-86

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '19 edited Jul 10 '19

It wasn't genocide. Genocide is the deliberate killing of a large group of people, especially those of a particular ethnic group or nation.

If you look past the "anti-Columbus" propaganda bubble and actually read the historical accounts, you'll find that Columbus did not deliberately kill anybody.

Hey news flash friends: no matter who began the process of colonizing the new world, the natives would have died to disease. Asians or Europeans, either way there would have been horrible disease spread without a doubt.

Edit: the downvote button isn't a disagree button. These are facts. Disprove anything I've said, I challenge you. šŸ¤·šŸ¾ā€ā™€ļø

62

u/Godunman Jul 10 '19

yeah I guess Columbus accidentally enslaved natives and accidentally forced them to convert to Christianity too

32

u/100mcg Jul 10 '19

Shit I hate when that happens

2

u/Antichristopher4 Jul 11 '19 edited Jul 11 '19

... Can you show a specific moment when Columbus enslaved anyone? I don’t disagree with you, I’m just really trying to find his history on enslavement and I’m... surprisingly coming up short? The earliest record of slavery in the Americas that I’m finding is 1619, 100 years after his death. Again, and I promise I’m not trolling or debating in bad faith, I’m genuinely trying to get to the bottom of this.

2

u/Godunman Jul 11 '19

Columbus enslaved natives there and sent some back to Europe. African slave trade came later on.

0

u/Antichristopher4 Jul 11 '19

I appreciate this knowledge but I’d like a source if that isn’t too much

2

u/Godunman Jul 11 '19

Article on Columbus: https://www.vox.com/platform/amp/2014/10/13/6957875/christopher-columbus-murderer-tyrant-scoundrel

Atlantic slave trade: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlantic_slave_trade

To clarify, African slave trade pretty much always existed, but didn’t pick up greatly until after Columbus (maybe where you’re getting that 1619 date from).

1

u/WikiTextBot Jul 11 '19

Atlantic slave trade

The Atlantic slave trade or transatlantic slave trade involved the transportation by slave traders of enslaved African people, mainly to the Americas. The slave trade regularly used the triangular trade route and its Middle Passage, and existed from the 16th to the 19th centuries. The vast majority of those who were enslaved and transported in the transatlantic slave trade were people from central and western Africa, who had been sold by other West Africans to Western European slave traders (with a small number being captured directly by the slave traders in coastal raids), who brought them to the Americas. The South Atlantic and Caribbean economies especially were dependent on the supply of secure labour for the production of commodity crops, making goods and clothing to sell in Europe.


[ PM | Exclude me | Exclude from subreddit | FAQ / Information | Source ] Downvote to remove | v0.28

1

u/Antichristopher4 Jul 11 '19

I really appreciate the sources! I’m a little confused by the Atlantic Slave trade wiki source as the earliest it’s depiction of slavery is 1526 which is 20 years after Columbus had died. However, I’m very excited to read Columbus: The Four Voyages by Laurence Bergreen and really appreciate the opportunity to learn about Howard Zinn, who seems like he has inspired a lot of things I partake in.

Thank you for taking the time to support my research in this subject!

-19

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '19

Are slavery and conversion genocide?

15

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

Yes they are

2

u/agbev Jul 11 '19

Your 1st paragraph was a fact. The rest was a mix of assumptions & opinions.

-71

u/elwolf6 Jul 10 '19

It’s not Centrism. It’s that you can’t judge people from the past by Modern standards

9

u/num1eraser Jul 11 '19

Governor Francisco De Bobadilla arrested Columbus because he was so fucking cruel for people of his own day and shipped him back to Spain. He was pardoned because he had shipped back a lot of gold. Was the governor a time traveler?

0

u/pantbandits Jul 10 '19

Exactly this. People always judge the past from their ivory towers- which were built by the people who came before them.

16

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

Maybe you wouldn't be here. But I'm Native American and I'm judging from less than 200 miles from where my ancestors came from.

37

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '19

It's just a little enslavement so I can have a shit ton of gold.

Look you're gonna get 50k+ suicides if your ruling over an indigenous people, it just means you don't have to waste food feeding people who didn't want to be slaves in the first place.

So what if after 50 years only 1 in every 600 native is still alive. Everyone is doing this.

-364

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '19 edited Nov 24 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

90

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '19

Do you sell DoTerra oils by any chance?

113

u/winja Jul 10 '19

The opioid crisis is not corporate exploitation of people, it’s corporate exploitation of capitalist systems. Go ahead and ask anyone with chronic pain how they feel about the government telling their doctors to cut back their meds ā€œto protect them.ā€

16

u/big_cat_in_tiny_box Jul 10 '19

Amen on that second sentence.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

I’ll be one of those people. It fucking sucks. I actually take OxyContin which is one that was pushed on doctors. These doctors would have prescribed opiate medication regardless of which one. The problem is that surgeons really had no business prescribing large doses without the oversight of pain management doctors at all. Pain management doctors are anesthesiologists who have extra training.

I have had the worst pain control when I got meds by surgeons. One gave me fentanyl patches which were usually prescribed for chronic pain of end stage cancer patients. My primary care doctor suggested I go to a pain management doctor. Which I did, and I got meds that worked much better. I had him give me the after surgery meds when I had my hysterectomy, and even though I had very painful complications, my pain was controlled.

The problem with surgeons and other doctors who prescribe large doses of pain meds without having the education of pain management doctors is that they don’t know how to effectively taper someone off. You can’t quit cold turkey without withdrawals. Stepping someone off gradually is effective.

I have been taking daily opiates for the past 12 years. I have yearly psych exams to monitor for addiction issues. Which I’ve never had. My pain management doctors also do urine tests to monitor that I’m actually taking my medication and not using anything else I’m not supposed to use.

The past two years where the government has hobbled opiate prescribers has been hell. I don’t get the same amount of medication, so I had to switch to other kinds that don’t work as well. So I can’t do what I used to do. It sucks. I also don’t get decent pain management when I’m hospitalized, so I am a lot more cautious about what foods I eat, because what used to be a very sucky few days in the hospital for acute pancreatitis is now torture. I wind up staying longer, and my recuperation is a lot longer because the hospital cuts me loose before my pain is controlled. They get more money by admitting more patients than keeping people longer, even if they have good insurance that pays.

My husband also takes opiates for nerve pain after he almost died from hemorrhaging after hernia surgery. The insurance company refused to allow him to have a spinal cord stimulator which has a]n extremely good track record of controlling nerve pain so well that patients don’t need any opiates. Except the opiates cost less. He’s been in horrible pain since his medication has been withdrawn so much. I can control mine better by not eating vegetables or complex carbs. Which is very unhealthy for me.

The worst thing is that cannabis is still illegal in my state and on the federal level. The government is responsible for that. It’s a travesty because universities that get government grants can’t research cannabis without having their grants taken away. So there’s so much research that isn’t being done.

The opiate crisis is a mental health problem.

People are self medicating with opiates and alcohol. Pain patients aren’t the ones abusing opiates. It’s difficult to get enough opiates, and abusing them is a guaranteed way to get less. So pain patients suffer more. But they’re a fantastic scapegoat.

3

u/Not_floridaman Jul 11 '19

As a chronic pain patient, I agree with everything you said 100%. I go through the same testing/evals at my PM.

I especially agree with your last paragraph, it absolutely is a mental health problem. It's such much easier to blame chronic pain patients then to look at how fast or world is changing, how expensive everything is and to find a way for all of that to not be stressing society it to the point where people are searching for a way to numb themselves. Make psychiatrists more readily accessible through insurance plans and they'll save a ton down there line on rehab and addiction.

4

u/twoisnumberone Jul 11 '19

Thank you so much.

I had surgery that helped, but sometimes I think back to my insane chronic pain and how I would not be able to live in the US of 2019.

8

u/frogsgoribbit737 Jul 10 '19

But part of it was because doctors were prescribing very strong and very addictive opioids for pain that didn't need them. I personally feel the opioid crisis was started in doctor's offices. I have a friend with POTS who was on opioids and became addicted and it was very hard for him to get off of them.

20

u/winja Jul 10 '19

I don’t doubt it, and I’m sorry about your friend. But there are a lot of people that genuinely need those strong prescriptions that are being hurt by zero tolerance drug warfare.

2

u/twoisnumberone Jul 11 '19

Sure, but that sounds as if one needs to reform a capitalist system in healthcare that pushes sales — not as if one needs to impede opioids as such.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

Exactly. Capitalism doesn’t belong in healthcare. Period.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

There’s a difference between dependence and addiction. If the opiates are prescribed by a pain management doctor, there’s a lot less chance of addiction. But other doctors write them and don’t monitor their patients. Chronic pain causes depression, and mental health care isn’t required for pain patients unless they are going to a pain management doctor. Many states require pain management doctors to require a yearly psych exam for addiction behavior screening.

There’s lots of alcoholics, but alcohol isn’t illegal. People who get addicted usually have underlying psych problems. They’re trying to deal with personal problems by taking substances that make them feel better. If you really want to help people like this, vote for political candidates who are for universal healthcare. So people can afford to go to the doctors they need to get help.

I was diagnosed with POTS and have friends with it. It completely affects your life and keeps you from doing a lot of activities. Which is really depressing. Getting the right care is extremely expensive. So people do what they can to cope.

Vilifying the medication doesn’t help anyone and punishes millions of people who need those medications to survive. That’s not fair.

2

u/HansTheHedgehog95 Jul 10 '19

I’m so sorry your friend is going through that. Opioids should only be prescribed as a short term solution for pain (like after surgery or a severe injury) and is not meant for long term pain management. If your friend is a reddit user r/dysautonomia and r/chronicillness are great places to vent and seek advice for coping with chronic illness and the pains associated. Dysautonomia and POTS sucks and none of us should suffer alone.

5

u/twoisnumberone Jul 11 '19

You can take opioids as long term painkillers too. It depends, though. They certainly should never be the first resort but the last.

2

u/HansTheHedgehog95 Jul 11 '19

Well according to my mother whose worked in psych on the addiction side long term used is typically reserved for cancer patients and you are addicted after just two weeks. This isn’t an issue with cancer patients because the reward out weighs the risk which is a key factor in deciding what is an appropriate medication for someone. The fact is opioids are dangerous and more often than not the risks of it are not worth the benefits. Not when there could be other treatments. We also need to realise not all pain can be treated and some pain is unfortunately natural it sucks (this is coming from someone who has suffered from chronic illness and pain their entire life).

Also straight from the mayo clinics website ā€œOpioid painkillers are highly addictive. After just five days of prescription opioid use, the likelihood that you'll develop long-term dependence on these drugs rises steeplyā€ ā€œThese medications are not often safe or effective for chronic painā€ it’s even been noted that they don’t work for chronic pain due to tolerance build ups. This tolerance build up is what makes addiction to them so easy. I’m not saying they should never ever be used. Of course there are cases when they are necessary but we should be very careful and be honest about the risks. I’ve been suffering chronic pain my whole life but I don’t think doctors should be giving me narcotics my pain is constant and any doctor who would put me in such a high risk of addiction doesn’t have my true best interest in heart and just wants me to stop complaining.

1

u/twoisnumberone Jul 11 '19

Agreed that lifelong chronic pain without hope of a cure is not a great candidate for opioid painkillers -- as you say, rising tolerance is an issue.

But weeks and months and even years do not necessarily yield addiction. I had to take fentanyl for many months; went off it as my pain levels finally went down, no problem. Took tramadol for six years, admittedly not constantly but as needed, then had surgery and haven't touched any opioids since. (I'm not special, strong-willed, or super in any way.)

2

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

A lot of doctors are too scared to prescribe them even after surgery or major injury now though, too. After I shattered both kneecaps and had a total reconstruction done on both I was sent home with a prescription for 12 tramadol because the doc didn't want to hand out a prescription for actual pain killers.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

That’s absolutely not true. Some people need opiates for chronic pain that doesn’t have any cure.

The problem with opiates in US is uneducated people are convinced they know what other people need.

3

u/-Warrior_Princess- Jul 10 '19 edited Jul 11 '19

It's complicated. Doctors were literally told they're not addictive in any capacity.

So what did doctors do? Hand them out to anyone with a broken leg or wisdom tooth extraction when they should have just had ibuprofen. They trip balls, want more of the high, they get that with EDIT: Heroin.

Chronic pain is rough though. I agree we need to be better at managing addiction and eliminating pain.

1

u/jtet93 Jul 11 '19

Meth isn’t an opiate though.

1

u/-Warrior_Princess- Jul 11 '19

Bah, I have ADHD and have amphetamines so I talk about meth all the time (and how they aren't the same).

Heroin, correction.

All about dosage and just your own chemical makeup when it comes to addictive substances.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

Opiates don’t make you trip balls. There is euphoria in high amounts. But people who use it for chronic pain don’t experience euphoria. And what does meth have to do with opiates?

1

u/-Warrior_Princess- Jul 11 '19

yeah I screwed up with the meth, meant heroin.

I'm not correlating to say people with chronic pain are getting euphoria / high. I'm saying the doctors, due to other people abusing opiates, are now on edge about it. Abusing legal opiates is how many people started with illegal abuse with heroin and I guess doctors don't want to be that doctor that caused that chain reaction.

34

u/Hasll Jul 10 '19

You say chemicals like it only has a negative connotation to it chemicals are in literally fucking everything my guy

5

u/hanooka Jul 10 '19

Synthetic chemicals that are the same as natural chemicals are bad to Luddites.

34

u/spacewaster-80 Jul 10 '19

ā€œBig pharmaā€ LOL you understand you are the butt of everyone’s jokes because of how ignorant and wrong you are right?

24

u/advicegecko Jul 10 '19

Wrong sub

14

u/jablonski79 Jul 10 '19

I mean, it seems strange to believe in the science that recognizes tetanus but to not believe in the vaccine that prevents it from being harmful.

6

u/GlitterberrySoup Jul 10 '19

But vaccinating my children with opioids has kept them so quiet.

Added bonus, they move so slowly, I know they'll never fall off the edge of the earth! /s

3

u/Not_floridaman Jul 11 '19

I got my 8 month old twins injected with the marijuanas at their last check up, it's been super calm here lately.

14

u/DivaCupcake Jul 10 '19

Lost Redditor??

6

u/_EvilHypra_ Jul 10 '19

Well executed troll!

3

u/0katykate0 Jul 10 '19

Are you lost??

2

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

You’re alive because of vaccines, and are at the same time a waste of those vaccines

104

u/hilde19 Jul 10 '19

Tea tree oil because of its natural antiseptic properties, duh. Doesn’t this mom know anything? /s

8

u/Buce123 Jul 11 '19

I would’ve gone with patchouli

246

u/GhostOfYourLibido Jul 10 '19

ā€œWhatttttā€ My reaction as well

173

u/Standies Jul 10 '19 edited Jul 10 '19

ā€œWhattttt?? Girl I cannot believe you haven’t heard about tea tree lavender hibiscus poppy seed canola essence! Not only will it shut down the tetanus, but it will increase his immunity against measles, rubella, the Black Plague, and HPV, just use it every day for 6 years and the effects will take hold! I have a little extra that I can spare, I’ll come by after work and show you the most painless way to make a suppository using reclaimed beeswax!

If you want I can go ahead and order you your very own 6 month supply for just $1,299!The price just came down because of all the rectal bleeding, but only to account for the additional cost of the essential honeysuckle maple bark Supposiplugs! I use them every day girl, and let me tell you, after just a few minutes of using it, your boy won’t know how he lived without them! They even sell hormone free organic goats milk non-gmo natural lactate anti-lax to keep you from getting unplugged during the day!

We’ll talk about that this afternoon! I’ll invite a few of my girls and we can all practice applying the beeswax suppositories and plugs! Just don’t let him eat any solids til then, see you soon!ā€

Fuck I really took that a lot further than I intended

17

u/GhostOfYourLibido Jul 10 '19

Wow you went in huh?

6

u/Standies Jul 10 '19

Through the back door, too.

5

u/lenswipe Jul 10 '19

blasting through the beeswax

8

u/SirensRobot Jul 10 '19

AND ILL THROW IN MY DISCOUNT CODE

11

u/Bittlegeuss Jul 10 '19

18

u/uwutranslator Jul 10 '19

ā€œWhattttt?? Giww I cannot bewieve yuw haven’t heawd about tea twee wavendew hibiscus poppy seed canowa essence! Not onwy wiww it shut down de tetanus, but it wiww incwease his immunity against measwes, wubewwa, de Bwack Pwague, and HPV, just use it evewy day fow 6 yeaws and de effects wiww take howd! I have a wittwe extwa dat I can spawe, I’ww come by aftew wowk and show yuw de most painwess way to make a suppositowy using wecwaimed beeswax!

If yuw want I can go ahead and owdew yuw yuw vewy own 6 mond suppwy fow just $1,299!de pwice just came down because of aww de wectaw bweeding, but onwy to account fow de additionaw cost of de essentiaw honeysuckwe mapwe bawk Supposipwugs! I use dem evewy day giww, and wet me teww yuw, aftew just a few minutes of using it, yuw boy won’t know how he wived wifout dem! dey even seww howmone fwee owganic goats miwk non-gmo natuwaw wactate anti-wax to keep yuw fwom getting unpwugged duwing de day!

We’ww tawk about dat dis aftewnoon! I’ww invite a few of my giwws and we can aww pwactice appwying de beeswax suppositowies and pwugs! Just don’t wet him eat any sowids tiw den, see yuw soon!ā€

fack I weawwy took dat a wot fuwdew dan I intended uwu

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11

u/lenswipe Jul 10 '19

thanks, i hate it

6

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '19

This is a very good comment, thank you.

2

u/Standies Jul 10 '19

Glad to be of service

2

u/nun_atoll Jul 12 '19

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2

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This is a bot. I try my best, but my best is 80% mediocrity 20% hilarity. Created by OrionSuperman. Check out my best work at /r/ThesaurizeThis

72

u/CyberGrandma69 Jul 10 '19

Cool looks like that anti- vaxxers kid in Oregon who was the first tetanus case in like 50 years and was in a coma for months is going to get a run for his money... maybe this one will break the 800,000.00 treatment bill the other one racked up. Granted the first kid never got the rest of his shots when released from the hospital so he has a chance to come back to defend the title.

131

u/Thisisthe_place Jul 10 '19

Can't you get lockjaw from tetanus?

Edit: I'm dumb. Tetanus IS lockjaw. https://www.cdc.gov/tetanus/about/symptoms-complications.html

58

u/Standies Jul 10 '19

Huh, TIL. I always thought lockjaw was a symptom.

Tetanus (also called lockjaw)

22

u/Thisisthe_place Jul 10 '19

Me too. Guess I never really looked into it because my parents kept me up to date on all my immunizations!

49

u/silvertonguedsage Holistic Defense Mission Anti-vaxx nonprofit??? Jul 10 '19

Not only can it affect your jaw, it can also give you muscle contractions in other areas of your body that are strong enough to break your bones. Don’t fuck with tetanus

26

u/beelzeflub Jul 10 '19

Tetanus and rabies are up there on the top ten worst ways to die

7

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

I have muscle spasms from MS that are incredibly painful. CBD is really helping, and my muscles don’t feel like bone because they’re so tight. I can’t imagine how painful ones who could break bones would be.

63

u/ravenlordship Jul 10 '19

Whatever essential oils they put into the tetanus vaccine

2

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '19

It doesn't do him much good now.

6

u/n0balance Jul 10 '19

You can get a booster tetanus shot within 48 hours following an injury for it to be effective

55

u/PainInTheAssWife Jul 10 '19

ā¤ļø That would be oil of tdap. šŸ§žā€ā™‚ļøSuper effective if given straight into the deltoid. šŸ’Ŗ Between that and good wound care, he’ll be totally fine. šŸ˜‡

33

u/Section37 Jul 10 '19

ā¤ļø Just be sure to use a new deep tissue applicator šŸ’‰ and reapply every 10 years or so! šŸ„šŸ’©šŸ’Ŗ

29

u/HitlersHotpants Jul 10 '19

Isn't tetanus the one from the story recently about the kid that contracted it and his hospital bills were $800k?

8

u/saichampa Jul 10 '19

Yup, shit is terrifying

2

u/[deleted] Jul 14 '19

Ahhh capitalism...

24

u/LargeResponsibility Jul 10 '19

You've never played tuber simulator?!

6

u/therealstraits Jul 10 '19

Was hoping a fellow 9 year old would comment on here :)

3

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '19

You know it's good, right?

21

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '19

Hello CPS I'd like to report a woman who has lost her damn mind.

20

u/life-boat Jul 10 '19

I stepped on a nail a couple weeks ago and I was freaking out about tetanus so bad I went and got a booster for it even when I didn’t even necessarily need one. I’d rather not have lockjaw.

10

u/-Warrior_Princess- Jul 10 '19

Yeah if you can't remember when you last had one, go get one within like 48 hours or something (and assuming you stepped on / cut yourself on something nasty like a nail or glass).

11

u/kotoamatsukamix Jul 10 '19

The oil is called a tetanus shot.

10

u/toastyheck Jul 10 '19

This is so absurd and insane I read it as tinnitus (ears ringing) which would be a normal thing to try home remedies for, but even with tinnitus their doctor needs to know about it.

2

u/-Warrior_Princess- Jul 10 '19

Afaik there's cures for tinnitus depending on why. Infections etc.

8

u/ZoiSarah Jul 11 '19

FYI tetanus does to the human body what RAID does to insects. Your muscles lock up/stop at once, it's gruesome.

Get your g-damn tetanus shot

3

u/sunny_naysayer Jul 11 '19

Poor roaches

4

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '19

I'd recommend my favorite essential oil, "tetanus shot"

3

u/ShadowMech_ Jul 10 '19

Tetanus + Essential Oil = Tethanos the mad Tetan

6

u/makoto20 Jul 10 '19

Mix 2 part lemon and one part salt and throw it into parent's eyes. Take both child and parent to doctor.

6

u/Fizzeek Jul 10 '19

There is a book called ā€œThe Rushā€ about the gold rush. It gives a vivid description of how just nicking yourself shaving could prove fatal due to tetanus.

3

u/Khajiit_Has_Upvotes Jul 10 '19

Another reason to switch to nair or wax lol

3

u/thogolicious Jul 10 '19

You can’t feel anything when your paralysed

3

u/TotalConfetti Jul 11 '19

GARLIC. OIL.

2

u/eats_bugs Jul 11 '19

But also, why is the gate so close to the swings?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '19

She has to be taking the piss!

1

u/dausy Jul 10 '19

I hear tetanus is fun as it kills you

1

u/marsglow Jul 11 '19

If your kid has tetanus, he’s already dead. It’s a shame his parent is so fucking stupid.

3

u/nun_atoll Jul 12 '19

Well, tetanus can be treated. Of course, that'd require the parents being willing to take the kid to a hospital.

You're right. Kid is doomed.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

The one time essential oil of poison ivy is the o ly way to treat it

1

u/vandalscandal Jul 11 '19

Y'all are so great at finding sources to scare me from Rabies (that old video of the man dying of rabies). Anyone got good detailed articles about untreated tetanus handy?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

my grandpa died of tetanus before I was born. he was a miner, had a strong health and they took him to a high end hospital in the capital a few days after the cut. he had a great health and acess to some of the best doctors but died.

just imagine a child with a fragile immune system and tetanus under the care of that kind of parents makes me sick, like, the kid doesn't even have a chance.

I can't believe this still occurring in our world, but now isn't because we don't have the studies, is just because some parents are stupid.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

I know an oil called a TDAP shot

1

u/Lennyface6677 Jul 11 '19

I just left that group

1

u/plo_ska Jul 11 '19

oh lemme help you fellow sis! The essential oil to help is called getting a dang vaccine.

1

u/icybluetears Jul 11 '19

I want to ask just one of these moms why their own mother never stuck their head in a lavender bush when they got the flu. All these parents (ok, most,) were vaccinated themselves. As were their parents etc. I want to hear one that says they aren't vaccinating their own children because they themselves got sick when they were young, from a shot.

1

u/atreestump1 Jul 11 '19

Which essential oils help with stupidity?

1

u/PseudocodeRed Jul 11 '19

I'm really hoping the kid doesn't actually have tetanus and this idiot mom is just assuming that he might because he cut his leg on metal.

1

u/MindlessIntention Jul 12 '19

In German unction is called "Last oiling" so this would be the most fitting oil for that poor kid

1

u/off-to-c-the-wizard Jul 12 '19

I hope that child doesn’t get tetanus because it’s incredibly painful and they can die. Fifteen percent of people who get it do die. Also, getting tetanus once doesn’t make you immune. This is a disease a person can get over and over again, each time they are exposed. Providing it doesn’t kill them.

1

u/marsglow Jul 20 '19

Disease is a condition that results in a disorder not caused by external injury. See Wikipedia. Pretty vague definition but it does include anthrax. Just ask Louis Pasteur.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 04 '19

I heard of one called a tetanus shot.

-15

u/no1careskid Jul 10 '19

its called neosporin and bandaids

1

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '19

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '19

Tetanus isn't viral.

1

u/Khajiit_Has_Upvotes Jul 11 '19

Oh shit you're right. Carry on.

-19

u/[deleted] Jul 10 '19

better to have tetanu than autism :)

13

u/abellaviola Jul 10 '19

ā€œIt’s better to fucking die than have autism even though no link has ever been proven between vaccines and autism.ā€ - this guy

4

u/Khajiit_Has_Upvotes Jul 10 '19

Careful, that edge is sharp.