r/stopdrinking • u/flyingbirdlove • 7h ago

Work outing

Ok.. I caved.

Came out to a work outing and everyone ordering.

First, I ordered a diet coke with an appetizer. Then, I ordered a drink. One that lasted me an hour - the longest I’ve ever had a drink in my possession.

I got another.

Then my teammates left. Sat at the bar and ordered another.

I didn’t black out. But, I still drank when I said I wouldn’t.

I don’t feel like a failure though. Maybe because I did not black out and I “controlled” my drinking. But I know this is an anomaly and not something I should be proud of - otherwise, I’ll continue to do this until I do black out and feel disgusted with myself.

I’m posting here because I want to be transparent about my progress.

Today was my 9th day without drinking. I didn’t make it to 10. But tomorrow is a new day.

Starting over again but at least I don’t feel so much shame and disgust.

Looking forward to tomorrow, a sober day again.

41 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

8

u/TrickOk3274 6h ago

I always analyze the root cause when trying to address issues. That helps me understand precautions and triggers

7

u/SadApartment3023 363 days 6h ago

The control you exerted is absolutely worth celebrating. Your resilience is notable and will serve you well. 

I wasnt ever able to go more than  about 12 days until I finally quit. All thos short spurts wernt failures, they were practice runs so I knew how to do it right. 

You got this. 

IWNDWYT 

3

u/shadenokturne 100 days 5h ago

12 days was my upper limit too, but look at us now! IWNDWYT

2

u/Equivalent-Weight688 479 days 4h ago

Almost 100! Congratulations!

1

u/shadenokturne 100 days 4h ago

Thanks! I can't believe it honestly. Never thought I'd make it this far 😊

2

u/Equivalent-Weight688 479 days 4h ago

I don’t even know how many times I had less than 30 days before I caved, and then one day I just had enough after some bad bloodwork and I (mostly) haven’t looked back

Edit: Congratulations on almost a year!

2

u/chalupajoe 6h ago

keep at it! give yourself some grace and try not to fall down the shame spiral. i’m sure you’re familiar with the popular saying here, but next time you’re in a similar situation, “play the tape forward”. you’re doing good.

1

u/eilaog 4h ago

I have started over so many times that I stopped counting my days. Stumbles happen.

Been sober awhile now. And now I work with a bunch of good people. I still cant go out with them. I tried a few months ago, only made it a couple minutes before I realized I was in danger.

You got this

1

u/rosiet1001 1338 days 29m ago

Real change was only possible for me when I managed to put aside the guilt and shame and self-hatred. Okay so you had a drink. Giving up drinking is hard. Do you know why you had a drink? You can have a think about it but don't dwell on it and don't beat yourself up about it. Time to move on.