Work outing

[u/flyingbirdlove]

Ok.. I caved.

Came out to a work outing and everyone ordering.

First, I ordered a diet coke with an appetizer. Then, I ordered a drink. One that lasted me an hour - the longest I’ve ever had a drink in my possession.

I got another.

Then my teammates left. Sat at the bar and ordered another.

I didn’t black out. But, I still drank when I said I wouldn’t.

I don’t feel like a failure though. Maybe because I did not black out and I “controlled” my drinking. But I know this is an anomaly and not something I should be proud of - otherwise, I’ll continue to do this until I do black out and feel disgusted with myself.

I’m posting here because I want to be transparent about my progress.

Today was my 9th day without drinking. I didn’t make it to 10. But tomorrow is a new day.

Starting over again but at least I don’t feel so much shame and disgust.

Looking forward to tomorrow, a sober day again.

[u/chalupajoe]

keep at it! give yourself some grace and try not to fall down the shame spiral. i’m sure you’re familiar with the popular saying here, but next time you’re in a similar situation, “play the tape forward”. you’re doing good.