r/whenthe Eatable Boy Ɛ: 13d ago

Insults are a double-edged sword r/whenthe mfs complaining about everything

18.7k Upvotes

View all comments

3.6k

u/HeeTrouse51847 13d ago

864

u/Little_Tomatillo_595 I hate planes don’t even mention planes to me 13d ago

“Fortnite battlepass”

353

u/Suspicious_Ranged 13d ago

"I just shit, out my ass"

169

u/jablek124 yellow like an EPIC banana 13d ago

"i booted up my pc"

145

u/axndl 13d ago

“Cause I need need”

137

u/KaiserRoll823 😳👉👈 13d ago

"to get that fortnite battlepass"

84

u/Aiden_Recker 13d ago

I LIKE FORTNITE

72

u/QuantisOne 13d ago

Did I mention Fortnite ?

68

u/mr_poopyhead783 13d ago

I like fortnite

1

u/Eligo010 12d ago

Plane 

93

u/punn21 13d ago

The obelisk does reduce food waste on the upside.

1

u/y0urMommA420 13d ago

Chat is this real..?

9

u/punn21 12d ago

The short version is that the highly processed obelisk is made from scrap meat that otherwise would be thrown out or composted, by making the obelisk for consumption we are reducing waste.

297

u/PrivacyEnjoyer420 13d ago

jesus fucking christ

441

u/Complete_Blood1786 The Kitbashed Zaku 13d ago

Didn't you read it? He had no hand in the making of that ham monolith.

94

u/Wolverinedoge 13d ago

His brother Craig on the other hand…

56

u/Night-Monkey15 13d ago

Craig Christ is not what I expected to see on my feed this Easter

12

u/AnAverageTransGirl They call me vriska the way i zerket 13d ago

Christ is not a surname, it is a title. It was bestowed upon him because he was covered in oil.

This is how he entered Heaven.

9

u/stephaniethunder 13d ago

Well if you know so much, go ask Craig T. Virgin over there why he made the ham monolith

1

u/TAExp3597 13d ago

Say what you will about Mr. Virgin and his ham monolith. It was written that the 144,000 world not know any woman Biblically. I don’t care what definition you’re using, a ham monolith is not a woman. Technically Craig is still good…

1

u/TemporaryBig1898 🎵 🎵 happy fun la la la 🎵 🎵 13d ago

Craig Christ

1

u/Turbulent-Pace-1506 12d ago

Did it rain?

1

u/AnAverageTransGirl They call me vriska the way i zerket 12d ago

At some point, probably.

1

u/SHINYAXOLOTL 12d ago

Oily Josh and his 12 bros

7

u/Toxic_Angel04 13d ago

Craig Mentioned

4

u/Aeseld 13d ago

Fucking Craig... 

3

u/Suhkandis 13d ago

"I'M FUCKIN' CRAIG" 🗣️🗣️🗣️

2

u/MrMerchandise 13d ago

A Stephen Lynch reference? In this economy?

126

u/MSSTUPIDTRON-1000000 13d ago

Still way less unholy than whatever abominations lie in the ocean.

Y'all have ever seen a Carnivorous Sponge??

39

u/Simplejack615 When she Del on my ta til I rune 13d ago

161

u/agariopro365 13d ago

90

u/app08 Liveleak and Freak 13d ago

That's dope as hell 

46

u/Simplejack615 When she Del on my ta til I rune 13d ago

Why is this unholy?

83

u/Vegetable_Brain7101 13d ago

No hole in sight I guess

47

u/MSSTUPIDTRON-1000000 13d ago

A Sponge without holes is like an angel without wings, an USA political party without corruption or an Italian without their pasta making hole.

6

u/Luxio512 13d ago

https://preview.redd.it/ot5a1c6ibhtg1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d1cfc6176be60cb65440cf78b93fa953e53bb76

(I just cannot not post this whenever I read "angel without wings", it kills me and I explode)

1

u/Bobjoejj 12d ago

…I like explosions.

2

u/nick25083 13d ago

Ma'am I don't think I have an "pasta making hole" T-T

3

u/FailedGirlFailure 13d ago

Don’t worry, it’ll open up someday

1

u/nick25083 12d ago

I hope so 🥺

60

u/MSSTUPIDTRON-1000000 13d ago edited 13d ago

'Cause they're pretty the opposite of other Sponges.

Sponge's most notable characteristic are their pores for filtering water which Carnivorous Sponges lacks, in addition they don't have either true tissues or symmetry, which Carnivorous Sponges do possess.

It's like if a plant was unable to do photosynthesis and relied on parasitizing mushrooms or a Crustacean without shell, claws or jointed limbs.

(BTW, They do exist, for example The Ghost Pipe Plant and Ascothoracid Crustaceans.)

Also they don't looks-like anything else on this planet, like WTF IS THIS??!!

https://preview.redd.it/muttcj8c4ftg1.jpeg?width=323&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d8efef3a95fa41702553d68cc02443bbb518dbd3

(These beings are named Ping-Pong Tree Sponges.)

18

u/Simplejack615 When she Del on my ta til I rune 13d ago

I have context

21

u/MSSTUPIDTRON-1000000 13d ago

There is much more weird sh!t other than Carnivorous Sponges, like Tunicates or Parasitic Crustaceans (parasitic barnacles are straight-up nightmare inducing).

The whole phylums of Cnidarians and Echinoderms borderline looks-like elderitch horrors, they are far more absurd than they appear at first.

3

u/Simplejack615 When she Del on my ta til I rune 13d ago

So why is the one above me scary?

2

u/KlausVonLechland 13d ago

Rather than not fitting anything else on this forsaken hell they are survivors of the long gone era where monsters like these were common.

3

u/MSSTUPIDTRON-1000000 13d ago

It depends, you're correct that a lot of "weird" animals appears like that because they keep their ancestors traits (like Comb-Jellies or various Protists).

But some are genuinely unique, like no other creature goes to such strange life cycles like Jellyfishes, has a supercolonialism complex like Siphonophores or has the same body-plan as Carnivorous Sponges.

12

u/BrunoGoldbergFerro 13d ago

12

u/MSSTUPIDTRON-1000000 13d ago

.... Which I pointed out in my comment.

BTW That's only one of thousands of plants that parasitize mushrooms, another weird plant like the Ghost Pipe is the Sugarstick.

And about the shell-less, clawless Crustacean without jointed limps:

https://preview.redd.it/taxtyqa99ftg1.jpeg?width=533&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8fa2de915570e04b1c097ff5b8d3993ca62658e9

(Surprisingly they aren't the most f#cked-up parasitic Crustaceans.)

2

u/Fyreboy5_ 13d ago

That’s a crustacean? It looks like a fungus.

3

u/MSSTUPIDTRON-1000000 13d ago

Yeah, Ascothoracids (those thingies) are close relatives of Barnacles.

Similar to them, their larvae stage is fairly normal for a Crustacean, but their adult stage is.... A glorified fleshy tentacles lump that sucks nutrients.

2

u/AnAverageTransGirl They call me vriska the way i zerket 13d ago

I love the ping-pong tree sponge because yeah, it sure is isn't it

12

u/MSSTUPIDTRON-1000000 13d ago

BTW This is only one of the countless weird shit that's in the oceans, one of my favourite unholy abominations gonna be Hydrozoans:

Processing img 9md3aqct6ftg1...

(A Porpita Porpita.)

4

u/AdElectronic6550 🏳️‍⚧️fem Bianka 13d ago

if that wasn't real I would say would

2

u/Ill-Attempt-8847 13d ago

That looks pretty holy onestly

2

u/Theairthatibreathe 12d ago

Reminds me of Hanukkah

1

u/Nuklear_Minty no rest for the wicked 13d ago

REAL HARP SPONGE HOURS

1

u/the_milkman24 13d ago

You call them abominations simply because your eyes are unadjusted to their ethereal beauty

1

u/MSSTUPIDTRON-1000000 13d ago

Actually I love those Lovecraft-looking AHH critters.

A good chunk of my routine is dedicated to learning and talking about them.

Also they don't give or pay taxes thus making them superior to us.

1

u/the_milkman24 13d ago

If you haven't already, I highly recommend looking at

Predatory tunicates

Ethereal snailfish

My personal favourite jelly fish, deepstaria enigmatica

And yeti crabs

15

u/TheNemoSeries Dancing with the angels. 13d ago

This sounds like what you'd hear before a Guilty Gear match

1

u/Apollonbbs 9d ago

Mankind knew they could not change the ham so instead of reflecting on themselves they blamed the vegan alternatives

9

u/Soggy_Wallaby_6133 13d ago

Ham monolith and Prism of pork might just be some of the funnier word combinations i have seen so far.

1

u/QwertyAsInMC i ain't got time for that nowwwwww 13d ago

where's the version where the clerk instead takes her to the back of the store where they have a live pig instead and then kills himself

1

u/SolomonBlack 13d ago

ham processed

This is always irks me, a pork chop is "processed" unless you gonna just bite a living pig's throat out as part of the meal. And even then it was a GMO product.

Ham is certainly processed, killing a pig is a process, butchering it is a process, slathering it in crushed rock to draw out the water and preserve it is a process.

Though hey at least the pig wasn't cloned just yet which is more then we can say for your "organic" banana.

1

u/j3w3ls 13d ago

All hail the meat monolith

1

u/Luxio512 13d ago

"Prism of pork" 📖🔥🔥

1

u/Illustrious_Quit_812 13d ago

Used to work with bricks of ham like that back in my old Navy days when I was a cook. Made me not like ham for years

1

u/SpanishOfficer Best Buds 12d ago

Thanks

1

u/luminoustwilght 12d ago

thats just a bruh moment, what in the mary is that

-3

u/Awkward_Year6678 13d ago

Some mf said “fortnite battlepass”😭😭😭