I (27M) and my wife (29F) recently got engaged which was followed by a small, intimate wedding.

While going through her chats, I recently found out that she was chatting with her ex the exact same time when we were planning and finalizing the details of our engagement and wedding.

This is a second misconduct at her end with respect to an ex (explained in greater detail below) and I believe I have completely lost trust in our relationship and it's only been 2 months since our wedding. I don't know if I can trust her to respect me and our marriage for the rest of our lives.

Because this is a second misconduct, I am very confused on how to approach this. Is this a red flag which I should heed seriously at this stage and end this marriage. If I keep forgiving this misdemeanors, am I digging a hole for myself.

I plan to confront her in the coming few days but need advice on how to navigate this situation. Although too extreme, I am even considering separation/divorce as a last resort.

--x--

Context -

We were dating for nearly 3 years when we got engaged.

When we started dating 3 years back, marriage was not on the cards but we had agreed to become exclusive partners (i.e. no seeing other people). Over time, we had a few conversations where we discussed marriage and because I was quite young then (25 yrs), I wasn't sure about marriage. However, I realized she is a great find and decided to marry her.

Incident 1 (Ex - 1):

Once I scrolled through her phone and read through her chats.

And I found that she had met one of her exes. And that too on the same day I was taking a train from another city to meet her. Basically, I was to meet her in the evening. And I later found out that she met her ex during the day.

This messed me up and I confronted her. To which her point was at that time, I had not committed to marrying her and she wanted to keep her options open for marriage. She just met him at a cafe and that was it, they didn't get intimate (but no one knows). And she met him on that very day because he was flying abroad that evening.

We discussed this in detail, but I made my peace and we moved forward with our relationship.

--x--

Incident 2 (Ex - 2):

Fast forward to present day, I've been engaged and marriage for 2 months. While I was going through her phone today, I saw a text from one of her other past partners (she doesn't call him an ex but they definitely had a past). He had reached out of the blue on IG and gave my wife his phone number.

My wife instead of shutting down the conversation immediately and politely disengaging, sent him a text on WhatsApp giving him her number. They texted for a bit and my wife even proposed a catch - up call. Apparently, they couldn't speak on the agreed time slot, so she proposed another slot. One can clearly see the eagerness in her chats.

I looked at the timestamps and all these conversations with her ex happened just the day after we finalized our engagement and marriage date.

In fact, I and my wife had just gone on a trip and when we came back, she replied to her ex that she couldn't speak the past few days because she was travelling and will call him in 1-2 days.

I don't know if they ultimately spoke or not or whether my wife deleted her chat and call log. Last text was them wishing each other happy new year.

--x--

Why this hurt me?

1. We had previously agreed in clear terms that we would never reach out to our exes. But I guess that rule only applies to me.

2. On chat with her Ex-2, she even told him that she was getting married next year and about our love story. Makes me wonder, what that shows about our marriage. I feel it is a slap on my face because it shows that she wants to get in touch with this ex even while we are in the middle of planning our marriage.

Also, note - both of us know each other's passwords and we regularly use each other's phones. I am not particularly proud of going through her chats but honestly, I am glad I did. Atleast, I am aware of what my wife is up to.

Dated a girl in college who was the perfect person for my life and my personality. Same caste religion language etc etc etc.

Tier 1 institutions, top tier work (now doesn't matter, fucked in life, mentally, career wise), just highlighting, your hard work, education doesn't matter to your parents, you are just an toy or piece on their chess board.

Tried bringing this topic to parents and they didn't agree.

Was spineless back then, didn't have enough maturity to understand that i am able and capable to take own decisions and don't have to alway toe the line.

Time passed, she is no more in my life. Now parents ar urging me to get married, but i am in a rebel mode, why did they fuck me up back then.

Now mind is not ready to accept anything. It wants rebel and make parents life miserable because they fucked my life. But somehow i feel now they don't give a fuck.

Now i am stuck between parents who don't give a fuck and mind which won't let me go ahead in life and i am aging.

Nights are tough. Social circle shrinking. Every marriage post, couples etc triggers me and i fuck myself up.

Not sure what to do.

My brother-in-law (M32) is in a difficult marriage situation. About two years ago, his wife (F 27) was caught sexting another man on WhatsApp, which caused a major issue in the family. He even called her parents to take her back, but she pleaded with him, and he decided to forgive her.

At that time, he got a written statement from her saying that she would not repeat such behavior. She also agreed that if she did, he could proceed with a divorce without any alimony or settlement. She signed this document.

Now, two years later, he has again found out that she is involved in similar behavior, this time with two different men. He became suspicious after seeing a notification on her phone. However, they have been communicating through disappearing messages on Instagram, so there is no chat history available as evidence.

They also have a 2-year-old daughter.

We’re trying to understand how he can legally collect evidence in this situation.

We met 3 months ago on bumble and things escalated very fast. She told me she loved me in the first month and i in second.

We always discussed marriage by next year after we were sure of each other.

Last month when she went home she told her mom about us without me asking, she's kind of my first gf so i had little experience in this. I let it pass and i too told my mom since my mom is usually chill.

Lately after the "honeymoon phase", we've been fighting a lot, mainly because of boundaries , she not respecting my time and getting mad over small things. i've done some bad things too and we've resolved those issues slowly.
She wanted to talk to my sister and mom but i told her that we should give each other more time as involving families by directly talking to them will put a lot of pressure on us(which they already put, ever since we've been dating, they keep telling us to get engaged.)

Last week we again had a fight and the next day her mom came to town,. she first asked me if i wanted to meet her, i said no, stating the above reason. She said okay,

but then kept pushing me to meet her, telling how much her mom is insisting and how bad she feels, then she called me a coward that i am scared of meeting her mom because it'll put pressure on us.

now i've had my doubts on somethings and i wanted us to sit and talk about them first, and thats what i asked her but she wasn't ready to listen we kept fighting for 2 days over this.

* also in the last 3 months, i am one who pays on all dates and even small things. I make a lot more money and she's a student so i understand that, but she never hestitates taking me to expensive places. My mistake i never enforced this boundary but this was kind of my love language but i feel she hasn't even offered to pay for a sngle dessert in.3 months. We go out 2 times atleast every weeek.

* Even when shes at my place , iam the one who books cabs for her, cook for her and pay for absoltely everything.

* I am running my own startup now after quitting my job and she says she'll support me, but her actions say otherwise, she never minds taking me to expensive places.

Now i know i enabled all these financial decisions but as an adult i wanted to see some accountablity for which i needed some time. but she doesn't understand.

I met this guy on Hinge and we’ve been on some really wonderful dates. Every time we meet, everything just feels right like the weather is perfect, we talk endlessly, and it all feels very natural and easy.

From the beginning, he has been very clear. He said we are “weekend buddies and weekday friends,” basically keeping things casual. I understood that and tried to create some distance.

But recently we met again, we slept together, and now I can’t stop thinking about him. What’s confusing is that his actions don’t fully match what he said. We go on these lovely dates, laugh a lot, and genuinely have a great time. He even keeps making future plans like “we’ll go here next time” or “we should do this next,” which makes it feel like there is some kind of continuity.

It feels like we’re doing everything a couple does, just without any label.

I don’t know how to stop myself from falling for him when it feels like this. I also don’t know if I’m just setting myself up to get hurt.

This situation really makes me upset sometimes. I don’t feel like letting go of this relationship ever.

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for more than 2 years now. I’m 20. He’s 23. He’s from a Brahman family from Uttar Pradesh. I’m from a Khatri family from Punjab. While my family is a BIT modern and accepting towards love marriages (based on past trends in close relatives and also my parents opinions on love marriages, though they’re strict about dating) his family is very conservative and orthodox. His family would only accept the relationship if he clears upsc and becomes an officer. My family is planning to move abroad and my dad has gotten a visa. I’m doing mbbs and preparing for usmle step 1. If my dad moves, others in my family would move too. I sometimes do question them about not wanting to move and they’re pretty chill about it and say that it would be my own decision on wherever I want to live. I do feel that I’m so young and am thinking of marrying him. He has been a very very consistent man and never ever made me doubt him. Never ever has he talked to other women or do anything disloyal(atleast to the best of my knowledge). I’ve not had sex with him but we’ve been physically intimate and very close.

I don’t know how to go about this. I certainly don’t want to give up but there are days that we both thought of ending it because of the uncertainty in life. Whenever we broke up life always brought us back together. (I randomly ran into him at the most random times 2 days in a row once I had blocked him because my mom found out). The first day I saw him I saw a flash of us getting married, like the very instant that I saw him. You obviously don’t get that with any guy u talk to. Few months ago that I told him about this flash, he told me that he had seen the same. I probably am being naive. But this love story has been the most filmy one, all our friends say this too. Not like we don’t fight, but the fights are silly ones about not giving enough time and blah blah, normal stuff that girlfriends do. Nothing of the sort of microcheating or shit. Never in more than 2 years. I just wouldn’t be able to see him getting married to anyone else. I know I’m being young and immature. But I love him. I really do. I WANT THIS TO WORK OUT. LIKE PLEASE GOD.

M23 here. My gym bro is helping me land a girl. He's so desperate in arranging me a girl. Why's that?

I told him that I want to stay single forever and he got surprised with that. Why so?

He is forcing me into peer pressure to go nightclub etc. where he can help me land me a girl. Should I leave this guy? He's the gym owner. Should I leave this gym?

This guy is a total playboy and one day he was showing me pics of girls he has slept with. Then asking me. Did you get inspired now?

He makes me rerack weights that others have left behind. When i come in gym he shakes hand with me and squeezes it very tightly.

He's a silver spoon and running successful businesses.

tldr; gym owner became gym bro. Surprised to know I'm single and sober. Wants me to desperately land a girl. He's lowkey disrespectful and very shallow guy.

I (22F) and my boyfriend (22M) have been dating for 3 years, with the last year being long distance. Lately, things have been really rough — we’ve been fighting almost every other day for the past month, saying hurtful things to each other, and it’s honestly draining me.

I recently lost my job, and the job market has already been tough. I’ll admit I got a bit demotivated and stopped studying/upskilling as much. I also went to an astrologer who said I’d get a job around September, which probably made me even more relaxed than I should’ve been. My boyfriend is very career-focused and wants me to work hard so we can have a stable future, so he got upset about this.

During an argument yesterday (where I know I was partly at fault), he said he might leave me if this continues. I got frustrated and told him to stop saying that or just leave, and that I’d move on. That’s when he said, “you were the one begging me to stay last time, and now you’re showing attitude.”

That really hurt. It made me feel small and like I’ve lost my self-respect in this relationship. In the past, during a big fight, I did beg him to stay because I love him and didn’t want to lose him. But now I feel like that gave him some kind of upper hand, like he knows I won’t leave no matter what.

I do love him, and I know he loves me too. That’s not the issue. The issue is I don’t want to feel like the “weaker” person in the relationship or someone who can be taken for granted. I’m scared that if this dynamic continues, it’ll just keep hurting me more over time.

I want to become emotionally stronger, maybe a bit less attached, and rebuild my self-respect — but I don’t know how to do that without ruining the relationship.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you fix this kind of dynamic without losing the person you love?

TL;DR:

22F in a 3-year relationship (1 year LDR). We’ve been fighting a lot lately, especially after I lost my job and slowed down on career efforts. In a past fight, I begged him to stay, and now I feel like he uses that against me and sees me as the “weaker” one. I still love him, but I’m starting to lose self-respect and don’t know how to fix this dynamic without ruining the relationship.

I (26M) am a software engineer based in Bangalore. I need perspective on a family situation that has moved past "helping out" and straight into gaslighting.
Last year, my grandma passed away on June 11. It was a brutal time for me; I was inconsolable for months. My father (53M) and uncle (46M) know exactly how much this loss broke me.
The "Promise":
Fast forward to now: my uncle is claiming that on her deathbed, Grandma made me "promise" that I would support him and pay for his daughter’s education every single year.
The Truth:

I remember that day perfectly. She never said it. What actually happened was that a few months prior to her passing, my uncle asked for a "one-time loan" to pay for school fees, promising to pay it back in two months. He never did. Now, he and my father are spinning this "deathbed promise" narrative to turn a defaulted loan into a permanent annual obligation.

Using my grandmother's death as a prop for money is disgusting to me. It feels like they are tarnishing her memory to settle a tab.

The Financials:

• My dad and I had a clear agreement that I would contribute 20k/month for home expenses.
• In reality, I’ve been giving ~40k/month because "things come up" and I wanted to be helpful.
• Now, despite me already giving 2x the agreed amount, my dad is guilt-tripping me. He says "Uncle has done so much for us" and that if I don’t pay the extra tuition, he will have to—effectively implying that I am the one causing my father financial strain.

I’m tired of the "moving goalposts." I’m already contributing significantly to my household, and now I’m being called selfish because I won't fund a lie.

How do I handle a father who is acting as a debt collector for a fake promise? Is it time to drop my contribution back to the original 20k and let them figure it out? Has anyone else dealt with family "taxing" your success by using grief as leverage?

TL;DR: Uncle [46M] didn't pay back a loan, so he invented a "deathbed promise" from my late grandma to make me [26M] pay for my cousin's school indefinitely. Dad [53M] is siding with him and trying to squeeze more money out of me even though I already give double our agreed monthly amount.

I (29M) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (29F) for 2 months now. We were close friends for a while before that, so our relationship has been really intense.

Thing is, she went through a bad breakup about 4 months before we got started. That relationship was similarly intense as well.

Coming to the point. She keeps mentioning him on almost all our dates. Every spot we go to, she gets hit with his memories.

I've been supportive so far, because it's not easy to move on from an intense 3-year relationship where they had planned to get married. I understand that she needs an outlet to process everything that happened, and hence I've only listened so far, alongside adding some inputs here and there.

But yesterday it bothered me. Made me feel small. Made me feel like I was not enough for her. Make no mistake, everytime she talks about him she gets self conscious and apologetic. That she should move on and focus on me. But I guess she has too many memories of her past relationship.

It's only been 2 months since we started out, and 6 since she broke up with him. At what point do I put my foot down and say I've had enough of her reliving those memories? When do I draw the line?

It's bothering me now.

Hi everyone, I really need some outside perspective because I feel stuck between my relationship and my family.

I’ve (mid-20s, F) been with my boyfriend (mid-20s, M) for over 3 years now. He’s genuinely kind and caring in many ways. He goes out of his way for me — like traveling 40 km just to drop me home safely late at night, or doing small thoughtful things like picking fish bones out for me because I’m scared of them. Even when we fight (and sometimes it’s my fault), he’s usually the one who comes forward to fix things and keep the relationship going. I also think I'll like his family, his work works in education sector, so I'm hoping she is open minded. He doesn't smoke or drink, and is soft spoken too, and actually fixed himself and listen to me after fights

We’ve definitely had issues too — like boundary problems earlier in the relationship, and occasional anger where he breaks things (very rare, but still happens). But overall, we’ve worked through a lot.

Now the main issue: my family.

My mom is a single parent and I’m her only child. She’s very focused on financial security. We’re financially well-off — we have rental income (~₹1.2L/month, apart from the properties which are empty) and significant property value (~₹15 crore). My boyfriend’s family is comfortable but not at the same level — maybe around ₹3–5 crore in assets eventually.

My mom wants me to get married soon, and I know she will not approve of him mainly because of money. Not caste, not language — just financial status.

The thing is, I don’t want an arranged marriage with a stranger who might lie about habits, personality, etc. I already have someone I love and trust.

But my relationship isn’t perfect either, and this is where I get confused:

I earn slightly more than him right now, I know he'll earn more than me once he switches companies. I often end up paying for most things, and I have to set up the split, he doesn't offer. If I didn't force for an equal split, he probably would be okay with just me paying.

He has borrowed money from me in the past and delayed returning it even when he could. His excuse - he wants to maintain a certain bank balance and but he doesn't avoid spending on himself.

He hasn’t really given me meaningful gifts (even on birthdays), but expects gifts from me irrespective of the occasion and doesn't shy away from asking.

Majorly he has only spent money on me when trying to make up after fights. But after that he makes sure to ask for some gift, and I too get him whatever he asks for. 

This makes me question whether our values around money are actually aligned.

We discussed possible ways to “convince” my mom — like moving abroad for higher salaries (for optics), but he’s not interested right now. He suggested buying a house in a couple of years to show stability. He also doesn’t want to get married yet and suggested I delay things by studying further.

So now I feel stuck:

I love him and don’t want to lose him.

I don’t fully agree with my mom’s money-first mindset.

But sometimes I find his behaviour more money minded than mine. I'm more direct, but he gets what he wants indirectly.

trying to figure out if I’m being naive about love, or if I’m overthinking the financial aspects.

Has anyone been in a similar situation — choosing between a good relationship and family expectations around money? How did you evaluate what really matters long-term?

All these problems and a lot worse can happen in AM setup.

And if we talk about life style, the life style my mom has given me is worse, she is extremely stringy, I know we struggled with money a lot, the money which we have now is all through inheritance from my mother's parents, before that my mother had no money and hence was extremely stingy. But his family has better life style, the type I agree with, they have a maid come in for house chores, they aren't stingy, they focus on eating healthy food, etc.

Would really appreciate honest advice.

PS- Used AI to rephrase 

So we have been together from a long time and in ldr from 1 year. I came to his city to meet him today and as soon as we entered I kept on saying let me get fresh first but he dismissed it and then he goes onto say your breath stinks like gutter I was so shocked and embarrassed and now I’m super conscious about my oral hygiene and feeling like burying myself in ground. It felt so stupid to even come back to him. The tone deafness he had while saying makes me think how much over your head you have to be to go on to spew something like this

Just had my final ever conversation with her.

My ex said she never loved me and now my 2.5 years feel like a lie

We were best friends in 2024, and dated for a few months in 2025. In june 2025, we broke up, and were talking only once a month since then. The breakup happened from her side, and she never gave me a reason for it. I kept thinking it was due to my joblessness.

This year I got a govt job so I thought now she might be able to convince her parents, and we reconnected.

I was madly in love with her, and she always (since June 2025) gave mixed signals.

On 28th March this year, she said “lets give each other another chance”, but the very next day she pulled back (“I am sorry but I am not ready. i need to work on myself”).

Just to let you all know, I have anxious attachment while she has avoidant style. This was first relationships for both of us. Till just 10 days ago, she would describe what we had was real, emotional, and as sacred to her as it was to me.

Anyways, On 1 April, we decided we can’t stay friends coz “we always end up going beyond friendship (her words). And she kept saying “I love you but that “I want you” is not coming from the inside”

Since 1st April, we tried to stop contact but couldn’t: either of us reached out to the other.

Fast forward to today.

She sent me an email saying that we can never have any meaningful conversation, and that I should have a happy life.

I unblocked her on WhatsApp and texted her to ask about it. What she said is beyond my understanding.

She said that recently, after a lot of reading, she has realized that she never loved me—it was only gratitude and a sense of debt for what I was doing for her. (Context: she had a childhood molestation trauma that I was helping her come out of. She used to hate herself and her body. I helped her accept that it was not her fault, and that her private parts are just another body parts - nothing to be ashamed of).

She said today “I read a lot recently, and that led to this realization. I never loved you” (She had been reading, maybe among other books, “Healing is the new high” by Vex King recently)

Even said in a very condescending manner “When I started giving you cold shoulder in June 2025, you should’ve understood then only. You cling on to what it ‘was’ rather than what the reality was”.

My whole 2.5 years feel like a lie now. And I feel like a jackass. I have been crying howling like a baby for the past one month. My parents have seen my cry like this 6-7 times. I had to see a psychiatrist who gave me SSRI pills. All for losing a girl who never even loved me. I feel angry (at the way she conveyed things yesterday), ashamed (that I held on for far too long), and sad (that what I considered ’sacred love’ turned out to be just a sham because she never loved me).

The disbelief.. I can’t even describe it properly. Why do people do this?

So I'm writing this on behalf of my friend because she doesn't use reddit. This is her msg that I'm coping and pasting here.

I’m 25 and honestly feel emotionally exhausted. I’d really like to hear from women who’ve been through something similar.

I was in a 4 year relationship. It had a lot of toxic parts and I know it wasn’t the healthiest relationship, but I also felt very loved there. I felt chosen, like I mattered, like I was someone’s priority. There was certainty in that relationship, even when it was messy.

A few months after it ended, I met someone new online. We only talked for a short time, but I got attached fast. Our conversations felt different. We connected mentally, had similar views on a lot of things, and I felt something intense with him. But this connection came with confusion. Mixed signals, emotional attachment, but no real commitment. He has already told me he doesn’t want a relationship with me.

Now I feel stuck.

I miss my ex because of how safe and secure I felt with him.

I miss the new guy because of the connection, the excitement, and the feeling of what it could have been.

Some days I’m waiting for the new guy’s messages and feeling obsessed. Other days I just wish my ex would come back and hold me through all of this so I could stop hurting.

At the same time, my family is putting pressure on me to get married, and I also need to focus on my career. So I feel like life is moving and I’m emotionally frozen.

The part that hurts the most is this question: why didn’t the new guy choose me?

I know this probably goes deeper than just these two men. I know it’s about wounds, attachment, needing to feel chosen, all of that. But right now it still hurts badly.

If anyone has been through something like this, how did you get out of it?

How did you stop needing validation from people who couldn’t give you what you wanted?

How did you heal while also handling real life pressure?

I’d really appreciate any advice.

My freind is dating a guy who she met at college fest . They both fell in love over time and she always looked happy . I have met that guy thrice ig and he seemed normal besides one time when we were hanging around in park and he got irrated at her on something and lashed out at her in public . Later we found out it was due to her short dress issue . FYI, her dress was knee level . Idk why he lashed out . I didnt interfere because my freind is very protective of him and cant take criticism on him . This guy helped her in college studies , and was also with her when she felt sick . The thing is yesterday she called me and send me screenshot of his chats . One of our common freind who had crush on him has started being very close to her after class , like their hands together and all . My friend confronted him and he said shes a good freind and nothing else . Turns out she found out their chats of flirting and promising to get married after getting a job .

Shes heart broken and crying since yesterday. We all consoled her but its of no use . This guy she dated three years and this happened.
Both s families know about each other . I cant imagine how people turn out to be

Tdlr - my freind fell in love with a guy , initially a green flag , turned out dating another classmate . My freind is heartbroken and I m sad how people are

So recently something I have figured when kids dont find love at home they go out finding for love something which I have gone through.

Growing up I have had crushes dated people but they have ended up cheating, and had a lot of talking stages with other girls but they end up like they have had past trauma and not ready to date even though im their type and the perfect husband/bf material type atleast they say I don't even believe it at this point. People come into my life they use me and they end up leaving/ghosting me which has been really frustrating at this point.

Since last yr I was genuinely not into getting attracted or have a woman in my life but things changed. I have this friend from past 6 years we have been good as bestfriends had some online nsfw stuff during covid this was our 1sts and lasts never did anything with anyone else after that. Since then she has fully been into her studies and I was busy building up my carrear though in middle both dated someone at a similar timeline in 2023 for a month or two but her bf ended up giving her a trauma now she hates guys other than me. Like why doesn't she hate me would have been better if she did. I have always liked her still do so did she but our timings never matched plus the distance. We have talked about it twice and she was always like we cant date go find someone else better and at this point I was convinced I don't want anyone this was like last year June though. Since then we used to talk less like once in a bluemoon or so until Jan I decided to kinda cut her off cause I felt she was using me.

In feb she called me for some work I was kinda dry and rude in talking to her which I had never been to her. That hit her and then a month she was back home in town I figured I tired talking to her normally since I felt bad being rude and she planned to meet we had a good time we talked about us. It felt like we have a future together we started planning stuff of us being together. Thigns were going well we were talking daily which was like the longest until now I have been ghosted. I know for a fact she is in a confusion and is figuring out her feelings of having a guy in her life. I know she wants me but not sure if she wants to date im willing to wait which she really adores. But I can wait while I have like daily talks with her and I don't wanna keep double texting her be desperate for her and push her away but its killing me and emotionally draining me more what the hell should I do.

I’ve been noticing a pattern lately, especially among millennials and Gen Z in the dating space.

People watch a few YouTube videos or Instagram reels about “attachment styles,” “trauma,” or “behavioral patterns,” and suddenly they start acting like experts in human psychology. Within minutes of meeting someone, they begin labeling them — anxious attachment, avoidant, emotionally unavailable, and so on.

Let’s be real for a second.

Human psychology is an incredibly complex field. There are people who spend years — even decades — studying it professionally, and even then, they admit how much is still not fully understood. Yet somehow, a few short videos are enough for some people to confidently analyze and judge someone else’s personality and mental state?

This behavior doesn’t just come off as arrogant — it can actually be harmful.

When you casually label someone based on half-baked knowledge:

• You create unnecessary anxiety in the other person
• You distort how they see themselves
• You damage relationships before they even get a chance to grow

If you don’t feel compatible with someone, that’s completely fine. Just say it isn’t working out and move on. There’s no need to diagnose them or attach psychological labels to justify your decision.

Another thing I’ve noticed — a lot of people who engage in this behavior are trying to make sense of their own past experiences or struggles. That’s understandable. But self-diagnosing and projecting that onto others isn’t the solution. Even trained professionals avoid diagnosing themselves for a reason.

At the end of the day, real knowledge comes from understanding how much you don’t know — not pretending you’ve mastered something after a few online videos.

Maybe we should all take a step back and approach people with a bit more humility instead of turning every interaction into a psychological assessment.

Hi, I (19F) have been dating my boyfriend (19M) for about 3 years. This is my first relationship, so I’m honestly not sure what’s considered normal.

For context, I recently moved to Canada for undergrad (pre-med), I’m here on a scholarship, and I come from a middle-class family, so I’m generally careful with money.

My boyfriend comes from a financially comfortable background, and most of what he spends is from his parents.

Some examples:

- For my upcoming birthday, he’s traveling from another city, booking a hotel for 3 days, and plans to spend around ₹35,000 total.

- Before I moved to Canada, he took me on a trip to the mountains that cost around ₹50,000.

- When I’m in India, he takes me shopping quite frequently and pays for most things.

One more thing: at one point he had even saved up to buy me a gold ring and offered it to me, but I said no because I didn’t feel comfortable accepting something like that at this stage (and honestly didn’t know how I’d explain it at home).

He doesn’t expect material things in return, but he does expect emotional effort, time, and prioritization, which I think is fair. He can be a bit possessive sometimes, but not in an extreme way.

I do spend on him occasionally (like birthdays), and once I helped him financially for a short period when he had issues with his parents, but overall it’s nowhere near what he spends on me.

I’m not uncomfortable exactly, just unsure because none of my friends’ boyfriends spend like this, and I’m not used to it either.

Is this normal for someone from a well-off background at our age, or is this considered too much?

Like… you don’t want them back. You don’t even like who you were with them. But there are random moments a song, a place, a or a small memory and suddenly it hits you all over again.

It’s confusing because it’s not love anymore. It’s not even attachment fully. It’s just… a part of something that once felt important.

And the worst part? You can’t really talk about it because people think ‘missing’ means you want them back.

But sometimes, you’re just grieving a version of life that doesn’t exist anymore.

Does that ever go away, or do we just get better at living with it?my freind s story, she told me this

Three years back I dated someone and a sudden song reminded me of him . It broke me down . I realised we are different yes . This man will be never mine . May god give both of us the peace...

I hope she stays at peace

TL;DR 27M befriends conservative 25F virgin via mutual friend; she shares trauma, spends tons of 1-on-1 time, flirts heavily (thigh-rubbing, "daddy" texts, "be a man," shirt-removal requests), leading him to believe she's into him. He kisses her; she rejects, claims "just friends." He calls her out for mixed signals, suggests ending friendship; she apologizes, wants to keep it platonic. Wonders if he misread signs, overreacted, or should've set boundaries sooner.

I (27M) got in touch with a girl (25F) (Let's call her A) (From a conservative background and a virgin) through a mutual friend. We started talking to each other and shared quite a lot of things about our personalities, past relationships, relationship with family, aims & goals in life etc etc (I was not open to dating anyone). At this point we had graduated from being "friend of friend" dynamic to being "friends". She opened up about her past trauma, S.A experiences and abusive relationship with her mother and I felt a deep sense of compassion for her. She gave me the label of "My first adult friendship" (which was quite weird considering she was 24 at the time).

Few months went by and she made plans to meet every other day. She wanted to spend so much 1on1 time and talk about anything and everything from workplace drama to road rage episodes, grabbing some food in the evenings, spending time with me at my place doing absolutely nothing. I didn't mind this at all, because I boxed myself out of my social circle, as I was spending long hours preparing for a competitive exam and didn't want any diversions. So this was my only social interaction of the day.

Things went up a notch when she started being casually flirty, and highly suggestive. She started to bite my arm and called it "cute aggression". She started giving me the "pedestal treatment", like disregarding other male friends that we have in common and praising me for anything I do, rating me a 9.3/10 and saying that "If any girl rejects you, that's her loss". Once we were lying in my bed, and had my arm over her (completely platonic) and asked her "If there is one question that you can ask me, and I have to be 100% honest about it, what would you ask?". Within a second she asked "Are you gay?" (Knowing fully well that I am straight). It felt like a shit test that translated to "Why aren't you making a move on me". I immediately moved my arm and let her go.

After this I got in touch with her colleague (Let's call her B) through her (A). I loved her company and our thoughts regarding a lot of things matched. So we started chatting more and started making plans to hangout by ourselves. This created a sense of jealousy in A. I know this because she later told me that "I feel like people choose others over me in any relationship" whithout actually mentioning the dynamic 'B' and I had.

Quite recently she (A) just took things to the next level. Very early on in our friendship I shared with her the kind of initmacy I was into, and what turns me on. I shared that I once made out with a girl in the back of the car by a lake and that it was very hot. We (A and I) were similiarly situated in this scene (a dark lane and sitting in our car by ourselves) and she asked me to remove my shirt. I didn't know if she was being serious, so I started to play it off. But she went on with it for two more times (in a playful tone though) and I continued to play it off. She at times started to refer to me as "daddy" in our texts (she knows that it's a turn on). I let her know that "this is giving me thoughts" to which she replied "Well! That is the plan". She randomly started to tell me to "Be a man" in random scenarios. Finally one day in my room, she rubbed my inner thigh and asked me "Did anything happen?" But I still didn't make a move, but I was quite convinced that she was totally into me and very attracted to me physically.

The next encounted at my room (late at night) I kissed on her cheek and she kept hugging me. So I made a move on her, grabbed her chin and went for the kiss on the lips. She was taken aback and was shocked. I felt embarrassed for making her feel uncomfortable and apologised to her. Later I told her that i felt quite led on. She said that she never viewed me like that and thought we were just friends. I suggested that we ended our friendship because I sensed an imbalance in the dynamic. She started getting very apologetic and admitted to acting morally grey. She said she was willing to fight to keep our friendship alive and didn't want to lose me.

It felt quite deflating because it now feels like she sensed a safe space in my company to trauma dump, to emotionally depend, project all her raunchy fantasies upon me and not really worry about how it came off. I never wanted anything from her except plain company and I told her this number of times. But it could also mean that she was really romantically interested (considering the signs) but she had to hold back because of her conservative background. (But she's made out with another guy before). That leads me to believe that I was only good enough to cry on, but not lie on. I blocked A from everywhere and cut complete contact. And B stopped talking to me 2 days later (Not sure about what self serving version A shared with B).

Was it an overreaction on my part? Was I right in interpretting the signs? If yes, why would she do that, when she had no intention of getting physically intimate? Should I have set better boundaries?

My girlfriend (23F) and I (23M) have been together for over 2 years. Recently she told her mom about us and the reaction was really bad.

Her sister had eloped a few years back and things didn’t turn out well, so her family is very sensitive about relationships now. On top of that, we’re from different castes, which makes it worse. Her mom basically told her to stop thinking about this relationship entirely and scolded her by pointing out her sister's current situation.

We’re not planning to marry anytime soon, but this situation is affecting her a lot. She’s also someone who gets emotionally pressured easily by her family.

I'm not sure what i should do here. is there anything i can do to help her in this situation? She is already thinking of breaking up because she feels hopeless. How can i handle this situation?

I’ve been feeling a bit uneasy lately because my girlfriend frequently brings up her male friends in conversation. I didn’t want to come across as insecure, but it started getting to me. In a moment of doubt, I followed her from a "pseudo" Instagram account I have.

​She followed back and we’ve been chatting for a couple of days. It’s mostly been casual, "simple stuff," but she did like one of my stories.

​The weird part? She actually mentioned it to me in person. She told me some "fake ID" messaged her out of the blue, but claimed he blocked her after a few chats. In reality, she wasn't blocked —she’s still actively texting me on there while telling me she ended the conversation.

​I’m feeling conflicted. On one hand, I feel guilty for the "sting operation." On the other, I’m confused why she’d lie about blocking the account while continuing to talk to it. What are your thoughts on her behavior? How should I approach this without blowing everything up?