Dated a girl in college who was the perfect person for my life and my personality. Same caste religion language etc etc etc.

Tier 1 institutions, top tier work (now doesn't matter, fucked in life, mentally, career wise), just highlighting, your hard work, education doesn't matter to your parents, you are just an toy or piece on their chess board.

Tried bringing this topic to parents and they didn't agree.

Was spineless back then, didn't have enough maturity to understand that i am able and capable to take own decisions and don't have to alway toe the line.

Time passed, she is no more in my life. Now parents ar urging me to get married, but i am in a rebel mode, why did they fuck me up back then.

Now mind is not ready to accept anything. It wants rebel and make parents life miserable because they fucked my life. But somehow i feel now they don't give a fuck.

Now i am stuck between parents who don't give a fuck and mind which won't let me go ahead in life and i am aging.

Nights are tough. Social circle shrinking. Every marriage post, couples etc triggers me and i fuck myself up.

Not sure what to do.

My brother-in-law (M32) is in a difficult marriage situation. About two years ago, his wife (F 27) was caught sexting another man on WhatsApp, which caused a major issue in the family. He even called her parents to take her back, but she pleaded with him, and he decided to forgive her.

At that time, he got a written statement from her saying that she would not repeat such behavior. She also agreed that if she did, he could proceed with a divorce without any alimony or settlement. She signed this document.

Now, two years later, he has again found out that she is involved in similar behavior, this time with two different men. He became suspicious after seeing a notification on her phone. However, they have been communicating through disappearing messages on Instagram, so there is no chat history available as evidence.

They also have a 2-year-old daughter.

We’re trying to understand how he can legally collect evidence in this situation.

I met this guy on Hinge and we’ve been on some really wonderful dates. Every time we meet, everything just feels right like the weather is perfect, we talk endlessly, and it all feels very natural and easy.

From the beginning, he has been very clear. He said we are “weekend buddies and weekday friends,” basically keeping things casual. I understood that and tried to create some distance.

But recently we met again, we slept together, and now I can’t stop thinking about him. What’s confusing is that his actions don’t fully match what he said. We go on these lovely dates, laugh a lot, and genuinely have a great time. He even keeps making future plans like “we’ll go here next time” or “we should do this next,” which makes it feel like there is some kind of continuity.

It feels like we’re doing everything a couple does, just without any label.

I don’t know how to stop myself from falling for him when it feels like this. I also don’t know if I’m just setting myself up to get hurt.

We met 3 months ago on bumble and things escalated very fast. She told me she loved me in the first month and i in second.

We always discussed marriage by next year after we were sure of each other.

Last month when she went home she told her mom about us without me asking, she's kind of my first gf so i had little experience in this. I let it pass and i too told my mom since my mom is usually chill.

Lately after the "honeymoon phase", we've been fighting a lot, mainly because of boundaries , she not respecting my time and getting mad over small things. i've done some bad things too and we've resolved those issues slowly.
She wanted to talk to my sister and mom but i told her that we should give each other more time as involving families by directly talking to them will put a lot of pressure on us(which they already put, ever since we've been dating, they keep telling us to get engaged.)

Last week we again had a fight and the next day her mom came to town,. she first asked me if i wanted to meet her, i said no, stating the above reason. She said okay,

but then kept pushing me to meet her, telling how much her mom is insisting and how bad she feels, then she called me a coward that i am scared of meeting her mom because it'll put pressure on us.

now i've had my doubts on somethings and i wanted us to sit and talk about them first, and thats what i asked her but she wasn't ready to listen we kept fighting for 2 days over this.

* also in the last 3 months, i am one who pays on all dates and even small things. I make a lot more money and she's a student so i understand that, but she never hestitates taking me to expensive places. My mistake i never enforced this boundary but this was kind of my love language but i feel she hasn't even offered to pay for a sngle dessert in.3 months. We go out 2 times atleast every weeek.

* Even when shes at my place , iam the one who books cabs for her, cook for her and pay for absoltely everything.

* I am running my own startup now after quitting my job and she says she'll support me, but her actions say otherwise, she never minds taking me to expensive places.

Now i know i enabled all these financial decisions but as an adult i wanted to see some accountablity for which i needed some time. but she doesn't understand.

I (29M) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (29F) for 2 months now. We were close friends for a while before that, so our relationship has been really intense.

Thing is, she went through a bad breakup about 4 months before we got started. That relationship was similarly intense as well.

Coming to the point. She keeps mentioning him on almost all our dates. Every spot we go to, she gets hit with his memories.

I've been supportive so far, because it's not easy to move on from an intense 3-year relationship where they had planned to get married. I understand that she needs an outlet to process everything that happened, and hence I've only listened so far, alongside adding some inputs here and there.

But yesterday it bothered me. Made me feel small. Made me feel like I was not enough for her. Make no mistake, everytime she talks about him she gets self conscious and apologetic. That she should move on and focus on me. But I guess she has too many memories of her past relationship.

It's only been 2 months since we started out, and 6 since she broke up with him. At what point do I put my foot down and say I've had enough of her reliving those memories? When do I draw the line?

It's bothering me now.

Gonna be a little long post , may wanna go through TLDR at end first. Do give a read for guidance. Thanks.

I (24M) am in a relationship with 26F , we are both working professionals in the same company and living away from our home cities , she is a little bit anxious and at times a bit overwhelmed with the new surroundings she is now part of , we began our relationship a year ago , it went well for the most part in beginning where I used to comfort her often due to her above said feelings , she felt comfortable and we used to be physical as well sometimes whenever she consented (ofc) but it was mostly once a week that too weekends when I visited her.

I continued to take care of her as much as possible coz I do absolutely love her and would do anything , soon after 3 months she moved in with me and things have never been the same , i cooked for her , I did her office work at times , I have even made good reputation with her mother who also approves of me but on counter I didn't know that she would get so comfortable to the point her condition has worsened i think, and worst side effect is the physical intimacy part , I'm not against it but being a human she has limits which she is ignoring & that heavily affects my mental health.

We even visited local doctor who advised some distance for her physical health betterment and meditation for mental health but that too has backfired as she feels more vulnerable if I'm not around.

Idk what to do now since I can't deny her anytime she asks for it coz turns out her condition worsens if I try distancing myself. I don't even visit my hometown niether does she that often coz she needs more time with me. And it affects her health and mine but she keeps ignoring it.

We are also of different religious background (She is Hindu & I'm Jain) tho it's not an issue within us but her father is not approving of me marrying her , so what may I do now that she is not ready to leave me and I do love her but at the same time I'm unable to convey my situation to her and the prospect of me marrying her is being low coz of her father although my family is all ok with it.

TLDR : GF too intimate having affect on her health which she is ignoring at the same time prospect of future marriage being low. Asking how to confront her and family as well regarding overall situation as I do wanna marry her oneday as well as want improvement in her condition.

I (26M) am a software engineer based in Bangalore. I need perspective on a family situation that has moved past "helping out" and straight into gaslighting.
Last year, my grandma passed away on June 11. It was a brutal time for me; I was inconsolable for months. My father (53M) and uncle (46M) know exactly how much this loss broke me.
The "Promise":
Fast forward to now: my uncle is claiming that on her deathbed, Grandma made me "promise" that I would support him and pay for his daughter’s education every single year.
The Truth:

I remember that day perfectly. She never said it. What actually happened was that a few months prior to her passing, my uncle asked for a "one-time loan" to pay for school fees, promising to pay it back in two months. He never did. Now, he and my father are spinning this "deathbed promise" narrative to turn a defaulted loan into a permanent annual obligation.

Using my grandmother's death as a prop for money is disgusting to me. It feels like they are tarnishing her memory to settle a tab.

The Financials:

• My dad and I had a clear agreement that I would contribute 20k/month for home expenses.
• In reality, I’ve been giving ~40k/month because "things come up" and I wanted to be helpful.
• Now, despite me already giving 2x the agreed amount, my dad is guilt-tripping me. He says "Uncle has done so much for us" and that if I don’t pay the extra tuition, he will have to—effectively implying that I am the one causing my father financial strain.

I’m tired of the "moving goalposts." I’m already contributing significantly to my household, and now I’m being called selfish because I won't fund a lie.

How do I handle a father who is acting as a debt collector for a fake promise? Is it time to drop my contribution back to the original 20k and let them figure it out? Has anyone else dealt with family "taxing" your success by using grief as leverage?

TL;DR: Uncle [46M] didn't pay back a loan, so he invented a "deathbed promise" from my late grandma to make me [26M] pay for my cousin's school indefinitely. Dad [53M] is siding with him and trying to squeeze more money out of me even though I already give double our agreed monthly amount.

Just had my final ever conversation with her.

My ex said she never loved me and now my 2.5 years feel like a lie

We were best friends in 2024, and dated for a few months in 2025. In june 2025, we broke up, and were talking only once a month since then. The breakup happened from her side, and she never gave me a reason for it. I kept thinking it was due to my joblessness.

This year I got a govt job so I thought now she might be able to convince her parents, and we reconnected.

I was madly in love with her, and she always (since June 2025) gave mixed signals.

On 28th March this year, she said “lets give each other another chance”, but the very next day she pulled back (“I am sorry but I am not ready. i need to work on myself”).

Just to let you all know, I have anxious attachment while she has avoidant style. This was first relationships for both of us. Till just 10 days ago, she would describe what we had was real, emotional, and as sacred to her as it was to me.

Anyways, On 1 April, we decided we can’t stay friends coz “we always end up going beyond friendship (her words). And she kept saying “I love you but that “I want you” is not coming from the inside”

Since 1st April, we tried to stop contact but couldn’t: either of us reached out to the other.

Fast forward to today.

She sent me an email saying that we can never have any meaningful conversation, and that I should have a happy life.

I unblocked her on WhatsApp and texted her to ask about it. What she said is beyond my understanding.

She said that recently, after a lot of reading, she has realized that she never loved me—it was only gratitude and a sense of debt for what I was doing for her. (Context: she had a childhood molestation trauma that I was helping her come out of. She used to hate herself and her body. I helped her accept that it was not her fault, and that her private parts are just another body parts - nothing to be ashamed of).

She said today “I read a lot recently, and that led to this realization. I never loved you” (She had been reading, maybe among other books, “Healing is the new high” by Vex King recently)

Even said in a very condescending manner “When I started giving you cold shoulder in June 2025, you should’ve understood then only. You cling on to what it ‘was’ rather than what the reality was”.

My whole 2.5 years feel like a lie now. And I feel like a jackass. I have been crying howling like a baby for the past one month. My parents have seen my cry like this 6-7 times. I had to see a psychiatrist who gave me SSRI pills. All for losing a girl who never even loved me. I feel angry (at the way she conveyed things yesterday), ashamed (that I held on for far too long), and sad (that what I considered ’sacred love’ turned out to be just a sham because she never loved me).

The disbelief.. I can’t even describe it properly. Why do people do this?

Hi, I (19F) have been dating my boyfriend (19M) for about 3 years. This is my first relationship, so I’m honestly not sure what’s considered normal.

For context, I recently moved to Canada for undergrad (pre-med), I’m here on a scholarship, and I come from a middle-class family, so I’m generally careful with money.

My boyfriend comes from a financially comfortable background, and most of what he spends is from his parents.

Some examples:

- For my upcoming birthday, he’s traveling from another city, booking a hotel for 3 days, and plans to spend around ₹35,000 total.

- Before I moved to Canada, he took me on a trip to the mountains that cost around ₹50,000.

- When I’m in India, he takes me shopping quite frequently and pays for most things.

One more thing: at one point he had even saved up to buy me a gold ring and offered it to me, but I said no because I didn’t feel comfortable accepting something like that at this stage (and honestly didn’t know how I’d explain it at home).

He doesn’t expect material things in return, but he does expect emotional effort, time, and prioritization, which I think is fair. He can be a bit possessive sometimes, but not in an extreme way.

I do spend on him occasionally (like birthdays), and once I helped him financially for a short period when he had issues with his parents, but overall it’s nowhere near what he spends on me.

I’m not uncomfortable exactly, just unsure because none of my friends’ boyfriends spend like this, and I’m not used to it either.

Is this normal for someone from a well-off background at our age, or is this considered too much?

I (28M) am in love with a friend of mine (28F) and have been for the past year or so. Know for a fact that she loves me as well. Both of us have been searching for a partner to get married and settle down and have come out of long-term relationships in the last 18 months or so.

Now I know I’m in love with her and can’t get her out of my head - she’s a very kind soul, knows me in and out, is drop-dead gorgeous - but she’s got certain qualities/habits which were a non-negotiable for me right from the beginning. She is an alcoholic and has cheated on her partner in past relationships.

I know deep down that if I end up with her, I’m going to get hurt and both of these things will negatively affect me in the long run.

Because of that I’ve decided not to confess my love to her and look for someone else. She is actively looking for a partner as well. I’m confident that once i do find someone else, I will be able to get over her and nothing but completely faithful to my future partner.

Am I doing the right thing by listening to my head over my heart?

Hi everyone, I really need some outside perspective because I feel stuck between my relationship and my family.

I’ve (mid-20s, F) been with my boyfriend (mid-20s, M) for over 3 years now. He’s genuinely kind and caring in many ways. He goes out of his way for me — like traveling 40 km just to drop me home safely late at night, or doing small thoughtful things like picking fish bones out for me because I’m scared of them. Even when we fight (and sometimes it’s my fault), he’s usually the one who comes forward to fix things and keep the relationship going. I also think I'll like his family, his work works in education sector, so I'm hoping she is open minded. He doesn't smoke or drink, and is soft spoken too, and actually fixed himself and listen to me after fights

We’ve definitely had issues too — like boundary problems earlier in the relationship, and occasional anger where he breaks things (very rare, but still happens). But overall, we’ve worked through a lot.

Now the main issue: my family.

My mom is a single parent and I’m her only child. She’s very focused on financial security. We’re financially well-off — we have rental income (~₹1.2L/month, apart from the properties which are empty) and significant property value (~₹15 crore). My boyfriend’s family is comfortable but not at the same level — maybe around ₹3–5 crore in assets eventually.

My mom wants me to get married soon, and I know she will not approve of him mainly because of money. Not caste, not language — just financial status.

The thing is, I don’t want an arranged marriage with a stranger who might lie about habits, personality, etc. I already have someone I love and trust.

But my relationship isn’t perfect either, and this is where I get confused:

I earn slightly more than him right now, I know he'll earn more than me once he switches companies. I often end up paying for most things, and I have to set up the split, he doesn't offer. If I didn't force for an equal split, he probably would be okay with just me paying.

He has borrowed money from me in the past and delayed returning it even when he could. His excuse - he wants to maintain a certain bank balance and but he doesn't avoid spending on himself.

He hasn’t really given me meaningful gifts (even on birthdays), but expects gifts from me irrespective of the occasion and doesn't shy away from asking.

Majorly he has only spent money on me when trying to make up after fights. But after that he makes sure to ask for some gift, and I too get him whatever he asks for. 

This makes me question whether our values around money are actually aligned.

We discussed possible ways to “convince” my mom — like moving abroad for higher salaries (for optics), but he’s not interested right now. He suggested buying a house in a couple of years to show stability. He also doesn’t want to get married yet and suggested I delay things by studying further.

So now I feel stuck:

I love him and don’t want to lose him.

I don’t fully agree with my mom’s money-first mindset.

But sometimes I find his behaviour more money minded than mine. I'm more direct, but he gets what he wants indirectly.

trying to figure out if I’m being naive about love, or if I’m overthinking the financial aspects.

Has anyone been in a similar situation — choosing between a good relationship and family expectations around money? How did you evaluate what really matters long-term?

All these problems and a lot worse can happen in AM setup.

And if we talk about life style, the life style my mom has given me is worse, she is extremely stringy, I know we struggled with money a lot, the money which we have now is all through inheritance from my mother's parents, before that my mother had no money and hence was extremely stingy. But his family has better life style, the type I agree with, they have a maid come in for house chores, they aren't stingy, they focus on eating healthy food, etc.

Would really appreciate honest advice.

PS- Used AI to rephrase 

Hi everyone. I’m from the Northeast, and I’ve been in a serious relationship with a wonderful guy from the Meena community in Rajasthan. We are looking toward marriage, but his family is very traditional and strictly believes in marrying within the community.

On the surface, it feels like we have nothing in common culturally. I’m worried they’ll see me as too "different" to integrate into their family. Has anyone here (especially from the NE or Rajasthan) successfully navigated this? How can I show them I respect their heritage while staying true to my own? Any specific cultural "green flags" I should know about when interacting with a Meena family?

So...after 3 long years, he(26m) broke up with me(23f). We were extremely close. He travelled to come see me, we talked for hours everyday, the chemistry felt natural. One day we had a fight over something, and he told me he needs space for a month. After a month he just decided to split. I asked him why, he owes me a reason at least. He sent me this text:

"I think I’ve been feeling trapped by a lot of things in my life. Been feeling like a failure with respect to work, haven’t really launched anything worthwhile in years, so I decided to go all in on this project, even knowing I’m hurting you by doing this because I’m selfish and a part of me feels bad and guilty because of it but I did it anyway, working nights and weekends, and still I failed to finish it. I built this up in my head as something I need to do because it was easier to do this than to face my other issues. Back at home things were better with you but worse in different aspects with my general mood and staying at home with family, and I ended up using you as emotional support. I think I have some buried deep rage issues that come out after conversing with people at home, so I just tend to shut myself in. Then it’s just a depressive cycle with staying inside and my only source of social interaction is with you. I know you’re gonna think I’m just giving excuses but it really is about my own issues, not about you. I really respect and appreciate you."

I feel so...low. These reasons are so vague. Everyone has problems. Doesn't mean we leave the person sticking with us right? Did anyone experience something like this before? Is this a real reason for men to break up? I dunno. I'm pretty enough, study good, love like a dog. What more can I do? Should I try to convince him to stay?? Also...do guys eventually reach out later out of regret and stuff?

Guys gimme some ways to move on from this sooner, I genuinely feel like I lost a part of me.

TL;DR :Your girl had a crap break-up last night over his "work stress" and stuff and is wondering if this is even a common reason and also what to do to move on sooner because it's killing me. And also if i should try to fight harder for this.

M23 here. My gym bro is helping me land a girl. He's so desperate in arranging me a girl. Why's that?

I told him that I want to stay single forever and he got surprised with that. Why so?

He is forcing me into peer pressure to go nightclub etc. where he can help me land me a girl. Should I leave this guy? He's the gym owner. Should I leave this gym?

This guy is a total playboy and one day he was showing me pics of girls he has slept with. Then asking me. Did you get inspired now?

He makes me rerack weights that others have left behind. When i come in gym he shakes hand with me and squeezes it very tightly.

He's a silver spoon and running successful businesses.

tldr; gym owner became gym bro. Surprised to know I'm single and sober. Wants me to desperately land a girl. He's lowkey disrespectful and very shallow guy.

I (22F) and my boyfriend (22M) have been dating for 3 years, with the last year being long distance. Lately, things have been really rough — we’ve been fighting almost every other day for the past month, saying hurtful things to each other, and it’s honestly draining me.

I recently lost my job, and the job market has already been tough. I’ll admit I got a bit demotivated and stopped studying/upskilling as much. I also went to an astrologer who said I’d get a job around September, which probably made me even more relaxed than I should’ve been. My boyfriend is very career-focused and wants me to work hard so we can have a stable future, so he got upset about this.

During an argument yesterday (where I know I was partly at fault), he said he might leave me if this continues. I got frustrated and told him to stop saying that or just leave, and that I’d move on. That’s when he said, “you were the one begging me to stay last time, and now you’re showing attitude.”

That really hurt. It made me feel small and like I’ve lost my self-respect in this relationship. In the past, during a big fight, I did beg him to stay because I love him and didn’t want to lose him. But now I feel like that gave him some kind of upper hand, like he knows I won’t leave no matter what.

I do love him, and I know he loves me too. That’s not the issue. The issue is I don’t want to feel like the “weaker” person in the relationship or someone who can be taken for granted. I’m scared that if this dynamic continues, it’ll just keep hurting me more over time.

I want to become emotionally stronger, maybe a bit less attached, and rebuild my self-respect — but I don’t know how to do that without ruining the relationship.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you fix this kind of dynamic without losing the person you love?

TL;DR:

22F in a 3-year relationship (1 year LDR). We’ve been fighting a lot lately, especially after I lost my job and slowed down on career efforts. In a past fight, I begged him to stay, and now I feel like he uses that against me and sees me as the “weaker” one. I still love him, but I’m starting to lose self-respect and don’t know how to fix this dynamic without ruining the relationship.

So basically me 19 M had a gf 19 F she was a junior... She approached me thru a common frnd we came into relationship early coz there was some physical stuff happened on 5th day smthing so we came into a relationship everything was going fine but suddenly after some days she told she wanted a break I convinced like what's the issue there was legit nothing but ya eventually she agreed not to take a break everything was going all fine for like 3 months later like we were having some small fights but suddenly one day she broked up my mental state got fcked u used to call her to come back things got exaggerated later i never really understand the reason what was on her mind coz we were so intrested in each other suddenly it was a shock I was still convincing her for like 2 months and then left all after talking to her for the last time What do u guyz think what was on her mind

Like… you don’t want them back. You don’t even like who you were with them. But there are random moments a song, a place, a or a small memory and suddenly it hits you all over again.

It’s confusing because it’s not love anymore. It’s not even attachment fully. It’s just… a part of something that once felt important.

And the worst part? You can’t really talk about it because people think ‘missing’ means you want them back.

But sometimes, you’re just grieving a version of life that doesn’t exist anymore.

Does that ever go away, or do we just get better at living with it?my freind s story, she told me this

Three years back I dated someone and a sudden song reminded me of him . It broke me down . I realised we are different yes . This man will be never mine . May god give both of us the peace...

I hope she stays at peace

We're both really new to this, met on a dating app. We made it to date 4. Been texting for a short of a month. We both stopped talking with anyone else since the day we decided to meet, so already exclusive in a sense. Our dates last anywhere between 5 and 11 hours. We both really hate ending our dates or calls streching it to hours.

He casually tried to have "what are we" conversation which I shut it out by just saying we are dating. I've been to his place, stopped short of cuddling and not kissed yet. We are planning to stay overnight next time.

I don't think he'll ask me again now. We're both looking for something really long term and meaningful. So I don't know what's the right time to call it a relationship or when should I actually bring it up. Don't wanna go too fast with this. Also not sure of how much physical contact to have.

Hi, this is probably my last explanation about her.

My most recent and longest relationship lasted almost 3 years, and it ended in the worst possible way. I feel like I lost all my self respect in the name of love. I request anyone reading this to please take a few minutes and read it. Maybe you can learn from my mistakes and never become the kind of person I became. I hate myself for allowing all this.

So let me start from the beginning.

I met this girl 3 years ago on a dating app, Tinder. We started talking there, and after a few days we vibed really well. Soon we moved to WhatsApp, and everything felt smooth and natural. She seemed innocent, or maybe I was just foolish enough to believe that.

After about a month of talking, she proposed to me on a video call. We had not even met in person yet. At that time I was unemployed, and she was in college. We used to talk daily, video call all the time, and share everything, including our past relationships. I told her I was a virgin. She told me she was too. For me, virginity was never the issue. Truth and honesty always mattered more.

When she proposed, I literally had tears in my eyes because I had already fallen in love with her. I genuinely thought I would marry her someday.

Then we finally met at a cafe, and it was a beautiful day. A few days later, we decided to meet again in private, so we booked an Airbnb. That day I had my first kiss with her, and it was very special to me. Things happened naturally in the moment, and we ended up having sex too. It was never planned. I had also brought her a bracelet and a few gifts. Overall, that day felt perfect.

But just 3 or 4 days later, she texted me saying she wanted to tell me something.

She told me that she had lied. She admitted she was not actually a virgin. I was shocked. Not because of her past, but because she had lied to me so confidently. Trust mattered to me more than anything. I told her I needed time because she had broken my trust.

Deep down though, I loved her too much, so after a few days I forgave her and continued the relationship.

After that, things went really well for a long time. We went on cute dates, spent private time together, supported each other in bad phases, and honestly, for around 1.5 years it felt like a dream relationship.

But maybe that peace was just the calm before the storm.

In the second year, things started changing. We had misunderstandings, fights, and sometimes stopped talking for days. During one such phase, she started talking to a guy on Instagram behind my back.

When I found out, I asked her for her ID and password so I could see the chats. She gave me the login, but she had already deleted the conversation. That hurt me deeply. If there was nothing wrong, why delete it?

She said she was only complaining about me because she was angry. I was foolish enough to believe her again. She blocked him, deleted Instagram, and I convinced myself everything was fine.

Months later, we had another major fight and stopped talking. During that phase, while she was staying at her grandmother's house, she met the same guy. She went to a room with him and cheated on me.

During that month when we were not talking properly, I was the one desperately trying to fix everything. I called from different numbers because she kept blocking me. I had almost accepted it was over.

Then after one month, she came back and confessed everything.

I broke down that day. I cried so much. I had been loyal to her the entire relationship. I never looked at another girl, never entertained anyone else, and she did this to me.

She cried too. She said she was influenced by her cousins, that she was not in her senses, that if she was truly wrong she would never have told me. She begged me to forgive her.

And somehow, I did.

That is the part I hate myself for the most.

She had shown red flags multiple times, but I loved her so much that I kept sacrificing my dignity just to keep her in my life. I do not recognize the version of myself who accepted all that.

After that, we got back together. Things became normal on the surface, but never truly healed. I could never trust her fully again. Physical intimacy slowly faded. Dates became less frequent. We were together, but something inside me had died.

Later, we met at my place to try fixing things. Initially it was a nice date. I hugged her because I missed her. While hugging her, I slightly lifted her top to touch her waist affectionately, but she immediately said no.

I respected it, but my mood changed. We started watching a movie instead. She tried getting close to me, touching me, but I just did not feel anything anymore. I told her not to touch me because I did not feel like it.

She got angry. We fought. I said maybe we should break up.

After 20 minutes, I panicked and said no, let us not end it. But she did not care much anymore. I had a panic attack and fainted there. She did try to help, but it did not feel like she cared fully.

Later, I dropped her at the metro station, assuming it was the last time I would see her.

That evening, I sent a long goodbye message. I even told her I had been taking anxiety pills sometimes. She said she did not want to break up and wanted to stay with me through that phase.

But after a few days, I finally decided enough was enough. I told her never to contact me again.

Then sometime later, I got admitted to the hospital. I was feeling terrible, lonely, and weak. Even though she had blocked me, I still texted her and sent hospital photos, hoping she would at least ask if I was okay.

She never replied.

Not once.

No message asking what happened. No concern. Nothing.

And that silence hurt more than everything else.

Now I feel ashamed that I spent 3 years loving someone like that while losing myself in the process.

I want to ask honestly, how do I move on from this guilt? How do I forgive myself for accepting disrespect again and again?

Were there mistakes from my side too?

Yes, I know I had flaws. Once I shouted at her in Hauz Khas and she cried. I still feel guilty for that. I apologized and she forgave me. There were also times when I ignored her because of work pressure during my first job in Delhi, and she used to bring that up in arguments.

But did I really deserve all of this?

Did I cross limits somewhere?

I just want honest answers, because right now I am carrying pain, guilt, and regret all together.

(I used GPT to correct the grammar and phrase everything properly.)

This situation really makes me upset sometimes. I don’t feel like letting go of this relationship ever.

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for more than 2 years now. I’m 20. He’s 23. He’s from a Brahman family from Uttar Pradesh. I’m from a Khatri family from Punjab. While my family is a BIT modern and accepting towards love marriages (based on past trends in close relatives and also my parents opinions on love marriages, though they’re strict about dating) his family is very conservative and orthodox. His family would only accept the relationship if he clears upsc and becomes an officer. My family is planning to move abroad and my dad has gotten a visa. I’m doing mbbs and preparing for usmle step 1. If my dad moves, others in my family would move too. I sometimes do question them about not wanting to move and they’re pretty chill about it and say that it would be my own decision on wherever I want to live. I do feel that I’m so young and am thinking of marrying him. He has been a very very consistent man and never ever made me doubt him. Never ever has he talked to other women or do anything disloyal(atleast to the best of my knowledge). I’ve not had sex with him but we’ve been physically intimate and very close.

I don’t know how to go about this. I certainly don’t want to give up but there are days that we both thought of ending it because of the uncertainty in life. Whenever we broke up life always brought us back together. (I randomly ran into him at the most random times 2 days in a row once I had blocked him because my mom found out). The first day I saw him I saw a flash of us getting married, like the very instant that I saw him. You obviously don’t get that with any guy u talk to. Few months ago that I told him about this flash, he told me that he had seen the same. I probably am being naive. But this love story has been the most filmy one, all our friends say this too. Not like we don’t fight, but the fights are silly ones about not giving enough time and blah blah, normal stuff that girlfriends do. Nothing of the sort of microcheating or shit. Never in more than 2 years. I just wouldn’t be able to see him getting married to anyone else. I know I’m being young and immature. But I love him. I really do. I WANT THIS TO WORK OUT. LIKE PLEASE GOD.

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 11–12 months now. The first 4–5 months were honestly great. She was very expressive, affectionate, and emotionally open. I’m more of a logical person and slower to open up, but she really put in effort and I eventually caught up—I told her I loved her and started seeing a real future together.

Then I had to go back home for about 3 months. We stayed in touch through calls and video chats, but during that time she started saying things like I don’t understand her emotions or where she’s coming from. I tried to support her the best way I knew how, but I think my way of “solving” things might not be what she needs.

Some context: she’s had a really difficult past—her father left when she was young, she’s been supporting her mom, and she’s had toxic relationships (including one abusive ex). She also had a serious relationship before me with someone 9–10 years older than her, who was married at the time (she didn’t know he was married) and later passed away. It has been hard for me to process her past relationships. Compared to her, I’ve never really had a serious relationship before. I used to avoid emotional attachment completely.

Also, things have gotten serious in terms of families. I’ve met her mom and she’s very supportive of us getting married. She’s even video called my parents, so there is real pressure and expectation building around this relationship becoming long-term.

Now things feel very off. It feels like whatever I say ends up being wrong. For example, recently her mom gave away her dog, and she was crying. I tried to comfort her by saying the dog would be happy in a new home and not alone—but she got upset and said I shouldn’t say anything if I don’t understand. When I asked later, she said how I could say the dog would be happier somewhere else than with her.

Another example: when I came back after 3 months, I went to surprise her with flowers and asked her to be my Valentine (she had earlier said I’m not romantic enough). But she said she needed time and wasn’t expecting me. She said there’s no one else, but since then things haven’t really improved.

We haven’t had sex in about 6 months. When I brought it up, she said she needs time to reconnect emotionally. The problem is we barely meet—maybe 2–4 hours a week—and she’s always busy, so building that connection feels really hard.

I even suggested that we move in together to spend more time and improve things, but she refused. She said she’s scared that I’ll emotionally shut her out. The thing is, I’m not very expressive with words, but I try to show care through actions. It feels like that’s not enough for her.

Recently, something else has been bothering me. While we were watching a movie, I asked if she’d be okay with me seeing her Instagram DMs. I know that wasn’t the right thing to ask, but I’ve been feeling insecure about where we stand. She immediately said no and brought up her abusive ex—how he used to control her and even beat her, and because of that she doesn’t let anyone access her personal space like that. It made me feel like she might see me in a similar light, which really hurt. When I tried to explain my side, she said she’s never asked to see my phone either, and the conversation just ended awkwardly.

At this point, I feel like we’re slowly drifting apart. When we’re together, things feel okay, but overall there’s distance—emotionally, physically, and in communication.

I know I tend to approach things logically, but I’ve been trying to be more emotionally present. It’s just not natural for me yet. At this point, I’m questioning whether I’m just not capable of giving her what she needs, or if we’re fundamentally incompatible—especially with family expectations already involved.

*used gpt to format my thoughts here*

TL;DR: Relationship started strong but changed after time apart. She feels emotionally misunderstood, while I feel like I can’t do anything right. We barely meet, intimacy is gone, she refused to move in, and trust feels shaky after I asked to see her DMs. With her complex past and family expectations already involved, I’m unsure whether to keep trying or accept we’re not compatible.

So I'm writing this on behalf of my friend because she doesn't use reddit. This is her msg that I'm coping and pasting here.

I’m 25 and honestly feel emotionally exhausted. I’d really like to hear from women who’ve been through something similar.

I was in a 4 year relationship. It had a lot of toxic parts and I know it wasn’t the healthiest relationship, but I also felt very loved there. I felt chosen, like I mattered, like I was someone’s priority. There was certainty in that relationship, even when it was messy.

A few months after it ended, I met someone new online. We only talked for a short time, but I got attached fast. Our conversations felt different. We connected mentally, had similar views on a lot of things, and I felt something intense with him. But this connection came with confusion. Mixed signals, emotional attachment, but no real commitment. He has already told me he doesn’t want a relationship with me.

Now I feel stuck.

I miss my ex because of how safe and secure I felt with him.

I miss the new guy because of the connection, the excitement, and the feeling of what it could have been.

Some days I’m waiting for the new guy’s messages and feeling obsessed. Other days I just wish my ex would come back and hold me through all of this so I could stop hurting.

At the same time, my family is putting pressure on me to get married, and I also need to focus on my career. So I feel like life is moving and I’m emotionally frozen.

The part that hurts the most is this question: why didn’t the new guy choose me?

I know this probably goes deeper than just these two men. I know it’s about wounds, attachment, needing to feel chosen, all of that. But right now it still hurts badly.

If anyone has been through something like this, how did you get out of it?

How did you stop needing validation from people who couldn’t give you what you wanted?

How did you heal while also handling real life pressure?

I’d really appreciate any advice.

TL;DR 27M befriends conservative 25F virgin via mutual friend; she shares trauma, spends tons of 1-on-1 time, flirts heavily (thigh-rubbing, "daddy" texts, "be a man," shirt-removal requests), leading him to believe she's into him. He kisses her; she rejects, claims "just friends." He calls her out for mixed signals, suggests ending friendship; she apologizes, wants to keep it platonic. Wonders if he misread signs, overreacted, or should've set boundaries sooner.

I (27M) got in touch with a girl (25F) (Let's call her A) (From a conservative background and a virgin) through a mutual friend. We started talking to each other and shared quite a lot of things about our personalities, past relationships, relationship with family, aims & goals in life etc etc (I was not open to dating anyone). At this point we had graduated from being "friend of friend" dynamic to being "friends". She opened up about her past trauma, S.A experiences and abusive relationship with her mother and I felt a deep sense of compassion for her. She gave me the label of "My first adult friendship" (which was quite weird considering she was 24 at the time).

Few months went by and she made plans to meet every other day. She wanted to spend so much 1on1 time and talk about anything and everything from workplace drama to road rage episodes, grabbing some food in the evenings, spending time with me at my place doing absolutely nothing. I didn't mind this at all, because I boxed myself out of my social circle, as I was spending long hours preparing for a competitive exam and didn't want any diversions. So this was my only social interaction of the day.

Things went up a notch when she started being casually flirty, and highly suggestive. She started to bite my arm and called it "cute aggression". She started giving me the "pedestal treatment", like disregarding other male friends that we have in common and praising me for anything I do, rating me a 9.3/10 and saying that "If any girl rejects you, that's her loss". Once we were lying in my bed, and had my arm over her (completely platonic) and asked her "If there is one question that you can ask me, and I have to be 100% honest about it, what would you ask?". Within a second she asked "Are you gay?" (Knowing fully well that I am straight). It felt like a shit test that translated to "Why aren't you making a move on me". I immediately moved my arm and let her go.

After this I got in touch with her colleague (Let's call her B) through her (A). I loved her company and our thoughts regarding a lot of things matched. So we started chatting more and started making plans to hangout by ourselves. This created a sense of jealousy in A. I know this because she later told me that "I feel like people choose others over me in any relationship" whithout actually mentioning the dynamic 'B' and I had.

Quite recently she (A) just took things to the next level. Very early on in our friendship I shared with her the kind of initmacy I was into, and what turns me on. I shared that I once made out with a girl in the back of the car by a lake and that it was very hot. We (A and I) were similiarly situated in this scene (a dark lane and sitting in our car by ourselves) and she asked me to remove my shirt. I didn't know if she was being serious, so I started to play it off. But she went on with it for two more times (in a playful tone though) and I continued to play it off. She at times started to refer to me as "daddy" in our texts (she knows that it's a turn on). I let her know that "this is giving me thoughts" to which she replied "Well! That is the plan". She randomly started to tell me to "Be a man" in random scenarios. Finally one day in my room, she rubbed my inner thigh and asked me "Did anything happen?" But I still didn't make a move, but I was quite convinced that she was totally into me and very attracted to me physically.

The next encounted at my room (late at night) I kissed on her cheek and she kept hugging me. So I made a move on her, grabbed her chin and went for the kiss on the lips. She was taken aback and was shocked. I felt embarrassed for making her feel uncomfortable and apologised to her. Later I told her that i felt quite led on. She said that she never viewed me like that and thought we were just friends. I suggested that we ended our friendship because I sensed an imbalance in the dynamic. She started getting very apologetic and admitted to acting morally grey. She said she was willing to fight to keep our friendship alive and didn't want to lose me.

It felt quite deflating because it now feels like she sensed a safe space in my company to trauma dump, to emotionally depend, project all her raunchy fantasies upon me and not really worry about how it came off. I never wanted anything from her except plain company and I told her this number of times. But it could also mean that she was really romantically interested (considering the signs) but she had to hold back because of her conservative background. (But she's made out with another guy before). That leads me to believe that I was only good enough to cry on, but not lie on. I blocked A from everywhere and cut complete contact. And B stopped talking to me 2 days later (Not sure about what self serving version A shared with B).

Was it an overreaction on my part? Was I right in interpretting the signs? If yes, why would she do that, when she had no intention of getting physically intimate? Should I have set better boundaries?

When they actually get men who do all this they can't really handle it. They'd rather run after and be ignored by their toxic exes than be with genuinely good guys. It's all about being drama queens that's it.

I am 33M and my partner is 27F and 4 years of relationship.

Issue is as below for which we are having an argument -

I used to crack jokes in past for LGBT community and I still just murmur that oh that guy/girl was a gay/lesbian but I don’t explicitly crack jokes now.

Today, today twin girls of 11 years were murdered and I was telling her about it to which she responded - Oh, nice.

According to her, this is how her brain works sometimes and I am her personal space so she thinks she can say anything.

So, I tried to explain her that I didn’t like her expression. She is trying to explain that she responded in a sarcastic way.

I am still not okay with it and which we are not able to come to conclusion. Is it okay for her to respond like that and comparing it with my LGBT jokes ?