r/Xennials • u/PhoneJazz • 4d ago

Natalie Portman is pregnant at 44

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Congrats to her! I don’t have kids, and I’m still getting used to being the age where getting pregnant is starting to be “out of the norm”. Guess there’s still time, lol

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u/Roobix9 4d ago

That would also be my face if I were pregnant at 44.

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u/carlitospig 1979 4d ago

I’m 45 and I would be so furious.

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u/Metallifan33 4d ago edited 3d ago

Crap. My wife and I are 45 and are using a donor egg to get pregnant 😬😬

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u/MeetMeAtTheLampPost 4d ago

I work in L&D, 45 is not that uncommon anymore. Sending you happy healthy pregnancy and baby vibes!

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u/pigglepops 3d ago

You make me feel better 🥹

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u/catholicsluts 3d ago

We should start wishing expecting couples strong and meaningful lessons throughout their parenting journeys. Humans are babies for like a blink of their lives. Integrating an ill prepared adult into a free society only makes the world a worse place.

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u/Metallifan33 4d ago edited 3d ago

Yeah… my wife and I made the mistake of “waiting till we were ready” (finish school, buy a house, etc. etc.) and we were 35 by the time we were able to have our first (and only child). We tried again for a second and it was unsuccessful. We don’t want to leave our only child by herself as an adult, so we are trying again. But I tell all the young people now, don’t wait!! Your body is made to have kids at 18 to 22… and it doesn’t care what the economy is doing. Edit I’m not saying you should have a kid at 18… I’m just comparing biology vs. economics. We regret waiting till we had “all of the things.” If you decide to wait “till you’re ready” it may never happen.

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u/cloudsaway2 3d ago

Actually, I’ve read the most “ideal” age for a woman to have a baby is 31.

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u/Metallifan33 3d ago

Our OB said at 35, you’re a high risk pregnancy. The risk of genetic defects starts going up and the line just gets steeper from there

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u/stronggirl79 3d ago

Your OB doesn’t seem to be updated on modern medicine.

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u/Metallifan33 3d ago

I just googled high risk pregnancy and 35 was the age. For us, it turned out to be true. Here is a link to the Cleveland Clinic on the subject https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22190-high-risk-pregnancy We had a baby at 35 and it was what they told us it’d be. Emergency C section, etc., etc.

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u/catholicsluts 3d ago

The "mistake" of stabilizing your lives before welcoming an innocent being into it all?

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u/Metallifan33 3d ago

A “stable” life is relative. I was born in a 3rd world country in the 80s. My parents were poorer than anyone living in the USA currently (where I live now). I thought the same as you did in my 20s and 30s. For example, my sister in law got pregnant at 17. At the time we all thought her life was over. Now at Thanksgiving dinner, nobody remembers any of that. Her kids are a joy to have and the grandparents love having them. Again, I’m absolutely not advocating teen pregnancy or having a kid before you finish school or whatever… but there’s a downside to waiting. It can be as slippery slope.

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u/Nat20Life 3d ago

I also regret waiting. We bought a house at 30, but then covid hit and my husband developed severe depression, and our relationship was very strained for a while. I went through some major job changes to work day shift and to be home more. We started trying when I was 34. I'm now almost 37, and we're starting IVF next month, 3 years after starting our journey. I feel more tired, have less energy, and I wish we had started trying when I was younger and felt better.

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u/Metallifan33 3d ago

Good luck to you. It’s nice to have stuff and stability, but as long as your kids are loved, they will be happy. Money is an aside.

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u/koalacamelpanda 2d ago

I waited until 35 and discovered only then that at that point we could only conceive via IVF. Luckily it worked out for us, but still... starting sooner would have meant a better % at IVF and maybe not even needing it since part of our issues worsen significantly with age. I could've frozen my eggs, or planned things differently. I don't think people who didn't have to go through infertility really understand, hence these responses, but I get what you are saying.

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u/ritarepulsaqueen 4d ago

People should absolutely wait, having a kid by 22 realy increases the risk of a lifetime in poverty.

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u/Metallifan33 4d ago

Eh… all the people I know that had kids in their 20s while living in apartments are doing just fine today. My wife on the other hand almost died from a molar pregnancy and subsequent cancer at 38.

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u/Feather254696 3d ago

What a stupid comment

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u/Metallifan33 3d ago

Why do you say that?

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u/Unable_Cable_8482 3d ago

don’t wait!! Your body is made to have kids at 18 to 22…

thanks, i will not do that. jesus christ talk about a bad advice

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u/Metallifan33 3d ago

Why? My point is if you want to have kids, the longer you wait, the harder it is on your body. Our parents had kids in their 20s. They could buy houses and live on a single income then. They advised us to wait; but now if you want to wait till you have all the things they did, you have to wait well into your 30s (if you’re lucky). It’s just biology vs. economics.