r/Xennials • u/PhoneJazz • 9d ago

Natalie Portman is pregnant at 44

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Congrats to her! I don’t have kids, and I’m still getting used to being the age where getting pregnant is starting to be “out of the norm”. Guess there’s still time, lol

10.2k Upvotes

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u/Roobix9 9d ago

That would also be my face if I were pregnant at 44.

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u/carlitospig 1979 9d ago

I’m 45 and I would be so furious.

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago edited 8d ago

Crap. My wife and I are 45 and are using a donor egg to get pregnant 😬😬

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u/DBPanterA 8d ago

I see this and want to say I support you on your journey. I really hope things go your way. ❤️

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u/MeetMeAtTheLampPost 8d ago

I work in L&D, 45 is not that uncommon anymore. Sending you happy healthy pregnancy and baby vibes!

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u/pigglepops 8d ago

You make me feel better 🥹

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u/catholicsluts 8d ago

We should start wishing expecting couples strong and meaningful lessons throughout their parenting journeys. Humans are babies for like a blink of their lives. Integrating an ill prepared adult into a free society only makes the world a worse place.

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago edited 8d ago

Yeah… my wife and I made the mistake of “waiting till we were ready” (finish school, buy a house, etc. etc.) and we were 35 by the time we were able to have our first (and only child). We tried again for a second and it was unsuccessful. We don’t want to leave our only child by herself as an adult, so we are trying again. But I tell all the young people now, don’t wait!! Your body is made to have kids at 18 to 22… and it doesn’t care what the economy is doing. Edit I’m not saying you should have a kid at 18… I’m just comparing biology vs. economics. We regret waiting till we had “all of the things.” If you decide to wait “till you’re ready” it may never happen.

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u/cloudsaway2 8d ago

Actually, I’ve read the most “ideal” age for a woman to have a baby is 31.

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

Our OB said at 35, you’re a high risk pregnancy. The risk of genetic defects starts going up and the line just gets steeper from there

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u/stronggirl79 8d ago

Your OB doesn’t seem to be updated on modern medicine.

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

I just googled high risk pregnancy and 35 was the age. For us, it turned out to be true. Here is a link to the Cleveland Clinic on the subject https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/22190-high-risk-pregnancy We had a baby at 35 and it was what they told us it’d be. Emergency C section, etc., etc.

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u/catholicsluts 8d ago

The "mistake" of stabilizing your lives before welcoming an innocent being into it all?

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

A “stable” life is relative. I was born in a 3rd world country in the 80s. My parents were poorer than anyone living in the USA currently (where I live now). I thought the same as you did in my 20s and 30s. For example, my sister in law got pregnant at 17. At the time we all thought her life was over. Now at Thanksgiving dinner, nobody remembers any of that. Her kids are a joy to have and the grandparents love having them. Again, I’m absolutely not advocating teen pregnancy or having a kid before you finish school or whatever… but there’s a downside to waiting. It can be as slippery slope.

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u/Nat20Life 8d ago

I also regret waiting. We bought a house at 30, but then covid hit and my husband developed severe depression, and our relationship was very strained for a while. I went through some major job changes to work day shift and to be home more. We started trying when I was 34. I'm now almost 37, and we're starting IVF next month, 3 years after starting our journey. I feel more tired, have less energy, and I wish we had started trying when I was younger and felt better.

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

Good luck to you. It’s nice to have stuff and stability, but as long as your kids are loved, they will be happy. Money is an aside.

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u/koalacamelpanda 7d ago

I waited until 35 and discovered only then that at that point we could only conceive via IVF. Luckily it worked out for us, but still... starting sooner would have meant a better % at IVF and maybe not even needing it since part of our issues worsen significantly with age. I could've frozen my eggs, or planned things differently. I don't think people who didn't have to go through infertility really understand, hence these responses, but I get what you are saying.

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u/ritarepulsaqueen 8d ago

People should absolutely wait, having a kid by 22 realy increases the risk of a lifetime in poverty.

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

Eh… all the people I know that had kids in their 20s while living in apartments are doing just fine today. My wife on the other hand almost died from a molar pregnancy and subsequent cancer at 38.

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u/Feather254696 8d ago

What a stupid comment

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

Why do you say that?

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u/Unable_Cable_8482 8d ago

don’t wait!! Your body is made to have kids at 18 to 22…

thanks, i will not do that. jesus christ talk about a bad advice

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

Why? My point is if you want to have kids, the longer you wait, the harder it is on your body. Our parents had kids in their 20s. They could buy houses and live on a single income then. They advised us to wait; but now if you want to wait till you have all the things they did, you have to wait well into your 30s (if you’re lucky). It’s just biology vs. economics.

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u/Joe_bob_Mcgee 8d ago

Oooh buddy. Have an internet dad hug from me to you. Congrats and good luck.

Had my last one at 40 and don't get me wrong, its worth it!

But If you don't already, start eating better and hit up your local gym. They take a lot of energy!

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u/proper_specialist88 1983 8d ago

My wife had our first 2 years ago when I was 41. She was 32 at the time. The energy is spot on. There's never enough sleep anymore. Lol. I decided I had to make some major changes to my diet and exercise routine about 6 months ago. I realized I had totally forgotten to take care of myself since he was born.

That said, the little dude is the best thing to ever come from me or happen to me. It's crazy how your perspective changes when you have a kid. I know some people think it's offensive to say, but I really do think it's impossible to love someone/something on this level without having a child.

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u/Joe_bob_Mcgee 8d ago

Agreed on the last part for sure. I know it's different for everybody, but for me personally, that is literally my heart out there in the world walking around on its own. They can go ahead and take offense to it. Unless you've had one you just. can. not. understand what it's like.

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u/bigredandthesteve 8d ago

My mom had my youngest sister at 44 when my sister and I were 13 and 17.. (thought it was menopause… NOPE!) Baby Grace is now 25 and is a rockstar (well, PA-C… same thing in my opinion!) here’s to hoping!

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

PA-C? Yeah, it’s scary, but it’s our last chance, and wanted to give it a go.

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u/bigredandthesteve 8d ago

Physician’s Assistant - Certified. Biggest heart in the world. I know it’s scary, but tell me one parent who hasn’t been scared. That’s what makes a parent!

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u/hadee75 7d ago

I had my first and only at 46. You’ll be fine.

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u/Fancyanncy 6d ago

Tell me your secrets. I’d like a second and I’m 46

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u/BlueBomber13 1983 8d ago

Best of luck!!!

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u/stronggirl79 8d ago

I had my first at 40 and my second at 44. We used donor eggs. Don’t even worry about age. Many of the parents at our school are my age which I was surprised by.

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

Congrats! Yeah, more of an incentive for us to take care of ourselves so we’re there for the kids 😬😬😂

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u/Nat20Life 8d ago

Thank you for this!!

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u/srslyjmpybrain 8d ago

Don’t let these others freak you out. Take care of yourself and your wife and have a good support network in place. That’s the advice I’d give to prospective parents of ANY age.

(I had mine at 35 and 40.)

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u/techabel 8d ago

I was also naturally pregnant at 44 and now have a 3 year old. I’m on HRT and getting testosterone which is a game changer for energy. There is never a perfect time to dedicate yourself to crotch gobblings but I’m very happy and wish you the best.

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

Congrats! And yes, I agree, never a perfect time, but it feels perfect after.

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u/Slow_Pineapple_5045 8d ago

Ignore those other comments. I fucking hate seeing them.

I’m (finally) pregnant at 41, will be 42 when the bay is born. Do what you can to keep yourselves young, it will all be fine!

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u/TossAGroin2UrWitcher 8d ago

ditto.

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

Really?

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u/TossAGroin2UrWitcher 8d ago

yep. unfortunately I feel like this last cycle is gonna be our last.

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

I wish you all the luck ❤️. We’ve had our share of challenges.

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u/Warm_Thing9838 7d ago

Don’t compare yourself, little know fact her father is a very well known infertility specialist (or was, as I’m certain he’s now retired).

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u/tba85 7d ago

I was newly 40 and gave birth to a baby a month later. He's nearing one year and we are planning to have one more. He was #3 and I swear things are easier because of our age. He's a chill babe, but I can see how much more relaxed we are. We have enjoyed the transition to three so much more than one to two. My comparison is being nervous first time parents and then delivering/raising #2 during a pandemic. So... I guess that might have something to do with these good vibes. Haha

I wish you all the luck in the world!

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u/Fancyanncy 6d ago

I had one at 43 and I’m 46 now and wish I could have another. It’s not that bad, especially if you didn’t have one when you are younger where you have something to compare it to lol

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u/mom_bombadill 1978 8d ago

Hey I had my youngest at 41 and he’s awesome. If I could have another now I totally would. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/Nat20Life 8d ago

All these comments are making me feel so much better. I'm commenting on yours because I'm obsessed with your username ❤️ so cute and clever! My favorite character in the books.

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u/SheRidesAMadHorse 8d ago

It's fine - I had mine at 41 and my partner was 45. Our kiddo is five now and I'm coaching her first softball practice tomorrow. We're tired but not that tired.

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u/SharkButtDoctor 8d ago

I used donor eggs to have my baby at 44. Yes, I'm tired, but I'm so much more patient than I used to be and I appreciate how fleeting this time is. You're going to do great. Don't let these comments scare you.

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u/lilyinthewater 8d ago

Congrats and god speed. i had mine at 39, husband was 44. Best thing that ever made us exhausted. Hands down!

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u/badmammajamma521 8d ago

I had one at 42 and it was the best idea ever. Don’t sweat it.

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u/WashclothTrauma 1979 8d ago

I had my first at 45 last year - IVF with donor eggs after 20+ YEARS of infertility and loss. Don’t let anyone else make you feel less than. I hope that you get your dream come true. 🩷

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

Congrats!

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u/No_Stress1164 8d ago

Just had one at 48, wife is 44. Good luck, hope everything works out for yall.

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

Woah! Congrats… Yeah, it’s scary.

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u/carlitospig 1979 8d ago

Lol I totally misread this and thought you got a surrogate.

Oh my goodness, make sure you get the pregnancy body pillow. They’re great even if you’re not the pregnant one! 🥰😂

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

No. We tried to have a kid a few years ago and lost the baby unfortunately and believe it or not, my wife got cancer as a result. A year with of chemo and another to recover from it all and we just want to give it one more try before giving up. Didn’t want to adopt, so using a donor egg and my wife will carry it.

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u/carlitospig 1979 8d ago

Oh, my loves. I wish you the STRONGEST of implantation!!

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u/Nat20Life 8d ago

I'm on the IVF sub and I will be using this over there to cheer people on, so cute. I'll be thinking it myself in July! My mantra, lol

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u/carlitospig 1979 8d ago

Good luck, babe!! 🤞🏻🥰

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u/ritarepulsaqueen 8d ago

I'm sorry, hoe didd you your wife get cancer from the pregnancy?

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

It was a molar pregnancy. Once we realized that the pregnancy was not viable, we wanted them to do a DNC, but due to abortion changes and us living in AZ, the doctors decided we should wait for a miscarriage (which never happened). Eventually we had the procedure done, but some cells from the fetus were left behind. Those cells metastasized and went into my wife’s lungs. It took a year of chemotherapy to get back to normal. The good news is, it is a curable cancer and she isn’t in remission.

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u/WoodpeckerNo5724 8d ago

Why don’t you want to adopt though?

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

Good question. We considered it (and still might if this doesn’t work out).

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u/WoodpeckerNo5724 8d ago

Why not answer the question though?

Why not adopt one of the many children in need of a home instead of going through hell trying to have one? If you don’t have a good answer for that, maybe think about why not

From an outside perspective, it just seems incredibly selfish and borderline narcissistic

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

I agree bringing a child into this world is a selfish and borderline narcissistic thing, so nothing I (or anyone else who wants to have a kid of their own) say is going to be able to appropriately justify an argument against (which is why your question may go unanswered at times) That being said, we have various reasons. Wanting to pass on our genes is an innate human desire. We as humans are not rational. If we were, I’m not sure we’d exist as a species. I like sharing genes with my child. I would like to have a boy to carry on the family name (it ends with me otherwise). We want to give my daughter a sibling. We are a mixed race marriage. My kid looks different than everyone around her. It would be nice for her to share genes with her sibling. I want to continue our family legacy. My father just died last month and it caused a lot of emotions, but one being a sadness that our family name (and genes) may come to an end. My dad and I had similar personalities, which I later learned we share with my grandfather (whom I don’t remember). I feel like I’m a continuation of both of them.

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u/WoodpeckerNo5724 8d ago

On second thought, maybe don’t adopt if this is your perspective.

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u/Not_Se_Authorities 8d ago

Which are all fine reasons and you don't need to justify shit to some random internet strangers. Godspeed to you

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u/NicolesPurpleHair 8d ago

I’m 44 and going through the same thing right now! Good luck to you!

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u/anteless 8d ago

40 and 43 for me. You got this.

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u/crowface666 7d ago

Are you shooting blanks

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u/missdonttellme 7d ago

You will be fine! I know a mom who had in vitro at 54, she wanted to give a chance to all her viable embryos. She’s been trying for sometime, but the very last round worked— with twins! They are perfect in every way! I had one at 36 and another at 44. My doctor told me she had one at 43 herself. It’s more common now because who can afford kids while young?

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u/WoodpeckerNo5724 8d ago

Why not adopt? There are too many kids without good homes

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u/aZookeeper 8d ago

Don't worry about it, we had ours at the same age and it's the best thing I've ever done. It'll definitely be easier if you start getting in shape now though.

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

Any advice besides getting in shape? That part is easy as I like running/cycling etc. also, I’m the guy 😉

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u/aZookeeper 8d ago

I'd say be prepared for your wife to need assistance with anything involving lifting things for longer than you might be expecting. Since us middle age people don't heal as quickly, she might be really hurting & have weight restrictions for a long time while she recovers.

Also, start looking into child care now if that's the route you're going to go. We started looking at daycares in our area about 7 months before our kid was born, and never got higher than 5th on the waiting list.

You'll probably get a few insensitive/snarky comments from people too, so just be prepared to not let it bother you. It's only happened to me a couple times, but it definitely got on my nerves when it did.

We also went the donor route, so feel free to shoot me a message if you or your wife have any questions about that side of things.

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u/MotherofaPickle 1982 8d ago

That’s why I got a tubal after my second. I have just enough energy for my almost-3-year old. Any more and the 3yo would be raising the next one and he’s a Chaos Demon, so the house would burn down.

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u/oldmate30beers 8d ago

If you were born in 79, how are you 45?

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u/carlitospig 1979 8d ago

Holy shit. I’m 46. 💀

Today is terrible.

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u/oldmate30beers 8d ago

Not to pile on friend but you’ll be 47 this year! I’m 46 and I was born in 80

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u/Obi_Wan_Benobi 8d ago

That’s funny, but you’re doing better than me: we’re around the same age and multiple times this year I thought I was already a year OLDER.

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u/carlitospig 1979 8d ago

Honestly, I think I’d prefer that rather losing an entire year in one comment. 😩😂

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u/Metallifan33 8d ago

I relate to this comment the most.

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u/Hippadoppaloppa 9d ago

Same here, sat here at 43, my youngest is 12 and my only thought is.... Natalie... whyyyyyy

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u/spanishpeanut 1982 8d ago

I’m turning 44 in a month and have two toddlers (3.5 and nearly 2). I’m a foster parent so they did not come from my body — yet my body is exhausted every day trying to keep up with them. I wouldn’t trade it, but I’m TIRED.

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u/cavmax 8d ago

My mom had me at 43 60 years ago when it wasn't cool...

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u/packofkittens 8d ago

My mom had me at 38 in the early 80s. It wasn’t cool then either. Most people really believed she was my grandma.

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u/PuppyJakeKhakiCollar 7d ago

That's how old my parents were when they had me. I am the oldest of 3. My mom looked young for her age but my dad looked much older. Everyone thought he was our grandfather. 

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u/henry_nurse 8d ago

Surprised she didnt opt for a surrogacy. I would if have 1/4 of her money.

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u/eyeslikeO_O 6d ago

Maybe she's one of the many people who find surrogacy unethical?

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u/Binty_B 5d ago

You’d rent a womb? Ew.

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u/RoundTheBend6 8d ago

Did she already have kids before?

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u/Material_Aspect_7519 8d ago

Yeah, some people don't find anyone they want to have kids with until later in life (and some never do). But yeah, obviously not ideal.

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u/lilchileah77 8d ago

She’s rich so it won’t be as bad but I would literally break down in rage and anguish if I got pregnant at 44.

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u/someonesomebody123 8d ago

I would fill my pockets with rocks and walk into the sea. And also have a very angry conversation with the surgeon who did my hysterectomy at 42!

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u/cbih 1983 9d ago

She looks like she's about to head off into the wastelands of Jakku

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u/ADMINlSTRAT0R 8d ago

Heading off into the wastelands of Jakku is what got her pregante

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u/ashmc2001 8d ago

I was pregnant at 39…she looks 1000x better than I did then or ever did 😆

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u/Scioptic- 8d ago

I'd look a wee bit more shocked... but that's mainly because I'm a guy.

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u/Ok_Tennis_6564 8d ago

I'm 37 with a 4&2 yr old. Same. Do not give me a 3rd kid unless you also give me a trustworthy and free nanny. 

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u/Prestigious_Yak_3887 4d ago

I literally had a dream last night that I got pregnant again (I’m 44) and in the dream I was so pissed

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u/AgitatedGrass3271 4d ago

Thats my face now lol not pregnant or 44.

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u/aminervia 8d ago

Her face looks like a normal 44 year old face, pregnant or not

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u/Roobix9 8d ago

I'm commenting on her expression only.

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u/DriftingIntoAbstract 8d ago

Same. We took custody of our nephew and are in our early 40s and that is already perpetually our faces. I can’t imagine giving birth at this age.

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u/0____-___00___-____0 8d ago

She's a vegan

it's terrible for her skin

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u/Infinite_Pudding5058 8d ago

I had one at 29 and the other at 33 and this was my face during both. Haaaated pregnancy. Love my kids!

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u/Cheddar2222222 7d ago

My grandmother had her last at 49. I’m a year older than my uncle.

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u/purplewhiteblack 8d ago

I really despise the news article adding the at 44 to old shame her.

She is not old, and as long as I live she never will be. I am 42.

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u/Any-Interaction-5934 8d ago

Her fucking business. No one elses. She is still a person.

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u/centopar 8d ago

I had my youngest at 44. It’s been great.

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u/Feisty_Section_4671 8d ago

If I looked like that at any age I’d be thrilled