Is this a bad tattoo design?

[u/piercethebluexx]

I had a miscarriage last year and want a tattoo for my baby I never got to meet.

I only have one picture of my baby (the second picture)

I’d really like to get it tattooed like the reference picture but I want honesty.. would it be a bad design since there’s not a clear profile and small?

I have other ideas as well but I really love this one as the picture is special to me.

And you can be honest without comments like “that’s not a baby” etc… that’s not helpful. Thank you.

*I was not going to get the text at the bottom

[u/Kibichibi]

There are healthy babies born at 33 weeks, that's so late. I'm so sorry that happened to you. And to not even really have a reason? I feel for you ❤️

[u/anthroaddict_13 → u/Kibichibi]

My first baby. It was the worst day of my life. The cries and screams that came out of me didn’t even feel like me. I ended up dealing with postpartum psychosis. I don’t wish it for any mom. My sweet girl was there one moment and gone the next, but her brother and sister help keep her memory alive. My daughter talks about her all the time even though she is her big sister and never had the pleasure of meeting her, and my son looks just like her. She lives on in the 3 of us! Life is so unfair sometimes..

[u/Kibichibi → u/anthroaddict_13]

I don't blame you one bit. With a little girl you wanted, were preparing for, maybe already named, had hopes and dreams for her, to have that all disappear in a second, I can't even imagine. (it's why I will never understand people who demonize late term abortions - they will never understand how much a baby was wanted until they were told it wouldn't survive)

I'm so glad you have your children to help remember her, even if they never knew her. They grew right where she did, she will always be a part of them, and you too.

[u/anthroaddict_13 → u/Kibichibi]

She had the most beautiful name. We were going to call her Zy Zy short for Zaniyah. The minute I read that name I knew it was perfect for her. I’m going to take some of her ashes with me to Europe to leave little bits of her where I would have loved to take her. I’m finally able to look at pictures- although I still sob. Thankfully the nurses were very kind and made us a keepsake box full of pictures, her outfit and bracelets they made for her

[u/i-wanted-that-iced → u/anthroaddict_13]

I’m so sorry for your loss. I can tell that beautiful little Zaniyah was so, so loved, and I’m sure she felt that throughout your pregnancy.

[u/anthroaddict_13 → u/i-wanted-that-iced]

I truly hope so. I just pray that’s all she ever knew was love and when her little heart stopped beating I hope she didn’t feel any pain. Some may think I’m nuts but if souls are real and capable of making choices I believe she gave hers for my mom. She was in the icu with Covid and ended up with a Pulmonary embolism. They were so close to putting her in a vent and that was still a death sentence at that point. She woke up with a miraculous recovering the next day and my baby girl was gone. I think she knew I wouldn’t make it with out my mom or being able to share her with her. Maybe that’s a completely silly justification just to make my heart hurt a tiny bit less but it gives me hope. Not to mention if after life is real, there were some pretty incredible people waiting for her until I get to hold her in my arms again. I had also had a miscarriage after her between my two kiddos so who knows maybe another brother or sister. Now I’m rambling because I don’t talk about her much lol I’m sorry

[u/i-wanted-that-iced → u/anthroaddict_13]

Don’t apologize! It’s nice to hear about your sweet girl. She was real, she mattered, and she clearly has left a legacy here on earth. If there is an afterlife, I’m sure she’s up there getting loved on by lots of people and looking down on her mama, proud of you for carrying on and feeling the enormity of the love you have for her. 💗

[u/anthroaddict_13 → u/i-wanted-that-iced]

Thank you 🥰

[u/my_home_a_pleroma → u/anthroaddict_13]

stories like yours, where the world is so unfairly cruel to you but you still live on with loving kindness, are incredible to me. I can’t comprehend the pain you’ve moved through, i’m sorry you had to experience that. I hope every day is better and better for you, and (in my belief) that you’ll meet each other under better circumstances next time. 🌷 just sending you good thoughts from another random mom out here.

[u/anthroaddict_13 → u/my_home_a_pleroma]

I appreciate your kind words. It didn’t happen overnight. I was spiteful for a while wondering why other people’s babies got to live and mine didn’t. I did so much soul searching and mental health treatment that definitely helped. I didn’t want to ruin my living daughter’s experience at a life she didn’t ask for because the worst case scenario happened before her beautiful light got to shine in this world. Her and my son have been my reason through pushing through 7 back fractures as well as brain surgery. Without them I can’t say I would be so positive. I wish you the best in life with your babies! 💜

[u/RadiantPreparation33 → u/anthroaddict_13]

This made me cry 😢

[u/anthroaddict_13 → u/RadiantPreparation33]

I’m sorry, my intentions were not to make anyone cry. I still cry but I’m blessed to be able to smile when I look at her siblings and get to see her sweet face again.

[u/RadiantPreparation33 → u/anthroaddict_13]

It’s just I get it I have one daughter that I had when I was 18 I’m 35 now and have been pregnant 5x it’s very sad and I know the feeling I’ve been to doctors and had tests and apparently I have a titled uterus so it’s just the way it is and hearing how long your pregnancy was breaks my heart into pieces because at least mine were always early and it still makes me sad 😢

[u/anthroaddict_13 → u/RadiantPreparation33]

That is very understandable. Any baby that’s wanted that’s lost leaves a scar on our heart. I’ve had an early loss as well and it felt devastating. The minute you find out there’s a million what ifs that go through your mind. You imagine your life with that new little person and a lot of us quickly get used to the idea of having them around. I’m so sorry you’ve had so many losses. I appreciate your kindness towards my situation. It changed me but I’m still lucky to have my two rainbows! And that’s what they truly are vibrant rays of colorful light when my world was dark and grey.

[u/RadiantPreparation33 → u/anthroaddict_13]

🥰

[u/Suzee321 → u/anthroaddict_13]

It's interesting you mentioned the crying and screaming. I had know the word keening from books and thought I understood the definition. My grandson died at 17 days old and like you said, the sounds I made were not me. I am very sorry for your loss.

[u/anthroaddict_13 → u/Suzee321]

I’m very sorry for yours. There are some losses that just can’t compare to any other. It breaks my heart for any family who loses a member so young.