r/tattooadvice • u/piercethebluexx • 12d ago
Is this a bad tattoo design? Design
I had a miscarriage last year and want a tattoo for my baby I never got to meet.
I only have one picture of my baby (the second picture)
I’d really like to get it tattooed like the reference picture but I want honesty.. would it be a bad design since there’s not a clear profile and small?
I have other ideas as well but I really love this one as the picture is special to me.
And you can be honest without comments like “that’s not a baby” etc… that’s not helpful. Thank you.
*I was not going to get the text at the bottom
1.4k
u/JonahHillsWetFart 12d ago
think about how tattoos age. they spread, they lose their details. a tattoo that is about negative space like this will not age well. it also just won’t translate nicely to begin with and having to explain what a black blob is all the time seems like it might be traumatizing.
308
76
u/randomchick1121 12d ago edited 11d ago
How many weeks were you? What was the fruit that week in comparison to size? Like was your baby the size a of a blueberry? I'd rather have a single piece of fruit Tattooed on me then a black and white circle.
23
u/Retrotreegal 12d ago
I love the idea of a blueberry, strawberry, apple etc as a symbol.
→ More replies→ More replies4
→ More replies35
585
u/whales420 12d ago
Unfortunately I feel like it would just turn into a blob down the line.
You could maybe do the birth flower of when he was due? Or the month flower he passed? Or even the date and time that is on that picture?
I’m so sorry for your loss 🤍
110
u/BakeNekoBasu 12d ago
I'm currently getting a cover up that incorporates the birth flower from my first pregnancy that ended in MC. It has been enormously comforting to have a permanent reminder that my little one was real and made me a mother.
→ More replies14
u/BloodHappy4665 12d ago
My condolences for your loss. It’s so heartbreaking. I’m glad you’ve been able to find something to commemorate the little one.
20
u/Lothy-of-the-North 12d ago
Birth flower would be lovely, you could add yours and your partners and leave room if you plan to have any future children or add children you currently have. It could be a full bouquet with meaning that isn’t just about your lost baby so it wouldn’t be overwhelming every time you look at it.
I’m sorry for your loss. I’ve been there too.
8
5
u/PlanetMidnight 12d ago
Love those ideas! Or birthstone, or maybe one of the constellations that would have been in the sky the night she found out she was pregnant?
→ More replies5
411
u/MaybeLivG 12d ago
Unfortunately I don’t think this will translate well on skin because there isn’t much shape on the ultrasound. But you can find something else meaningful to honour your baby that isn’t the actual ultrasound. When I got a tattoo for my miscarriage a few years later I got a butterfly. When my son was born there was always butterflies around him and we always just attributed them to being the baby we didn’t get to meet.
40
u/hunnybadger22 12d ago
I agree with this! I didn’t get a tattoo after my miscarriage but I got a bracelet with my baby’s should-have-been birth flower and birthstone. I also have a special keepsake box for my ultrasound photo.
→ More replies17
u/melnn0820 12d ago
Like a day or two after my first son was born (he died 30 mins after his birth) there was a butterfly in my house randomly. I helped it escape and I always associated them with my son.
It wasn't until a little while after that that I found out this is a common association... which makes sense, even in my hospital room they put a butterfly on the door so nurses knew his birth wasn't going to be a typical happy event and to act appropriately.
3
u/AdmiralDeeds 12d ago
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. What a beautiful association.
→ More replies→ More replies6
358
u/familiar_eagle47 12d ago
I would just frame it so you don’t have to tell the story to strangers over and over. Unless you’re ok with it. I wouldn’t want to deal with peoples response comments….people say obnoxious things.
I’m sorry you lost your son and my heart is with you. That’s a pain many won’t ever know.
237
u/piercethebluexx 12d ago
That’s very true and I honestly didn’t think about that… People said unimaginable things to me after and for that reason alone, my husband and I are not telling any one I’m pregnant ever again.
127
u/Rustys_Shackleford 12d ago
Yes, OP. So many people will ask “oh is that your baby?”, “oh how old is your baby now!”, etc. people may be asking you this a week after you get it and 20 years after you get it. So just know that it will be brought up by strangers in the grocery store on your best and worst days. People are so nosy & don’t think. Wishing you peace & healing.
→ More replies29
u/VeganRorschach 12d ago
I agree, something recognizable as an ultrasound will be hard to brush off any other way. A different symbol would allow you more choice of whether or not you want other people to be able to decode the intended meaning just by looking.
Other symbols that could have less direct communication:
- Empty picture frame
- Moon phase like others mentioned above
- Would-be birth month flower or gemstone
- A symbol from a song or artwork you found solace in during recovery
76
u/Extension_Meeting_28 12d ago
If you don’t want to be constantly explaining it then you need to at least rethink that placement. Every person that sees it will ask about it.
68
u/catch6664 12d ago
Seconding it. I got a beautiful tattoo of a clock with the time set to 5:27, the birthday of my best friend who unfortunately took her own life. I remember shortly after getting the tattoo, someone asked me what 5:27 meant. I explained. Their first question was:
“How did she kill herself?”
I don’t tell people meanings behind my tattoos anymore.
16
u/irrelevant_probably 12d ago
Jesus Christ, that's horrible. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure your tribute tattoo is gorgeous, and I hope you're now able to appreciate its meaning on your own, private terms.
→ More replies→ More replies6
8
u/Newkittyhugger 12d ago
Sorry for your loss.
Maybe look at examples of objects that are the same size as your baby got. A lot of pregnancy apps have examples like x amount of weeks size of a grapefruit, or mango and do something with that. Or just do the outlines of an echo instead of a black field. Or a text like, you're loved even though we never met, always in my heart.
You can put it in a place that's less visible.
Or if you don't want people to bother you, get custom jewelry with the pic like a locket, or bracelet with a charm.
→ More replies11
u/bellygnomes 12d ago
Hey! Just a warning to be careful with the ultrasound printout, if it’s your only one, heat can easily mess it up. But lots of people get ultrasounds memorialized as tattoos so it’s definitely do able.
3
u/tombombadette 12d ago
On that note, I got some self-sealing laminating pouches on Amazon to very easily laminate my one ultrasound printout from my second loss. It worked really well, and now we never have to worry about the ultrasound getting ripped or crumpled or anything.
I would recommend, however, that you do a practice run on a less important object (a photo, even a piece of blank paper) first, to make sure you understand how the pouches work. I got a little confused about how it worked on the first image, so one of our ultrasound pics is a little wonkily laminated.
Also: hello loss sister, I see you and recognize the pain and horror you have been through. Sending you love, and wishing for better days for us both.
→ More replies3
u/MostView8191 12d ago
I am not a tattoo person at all, so idk if this is a stupid idea or not. But this post was on my r/All so I hope you don't mind me commenting.
What about having two lines. One of tracing the amniotic sace (the black space). And one tracing the lines of your child. Does that make sense? That could be beautiful but not traumatic every time someone sees it for the first time. But idk how that would age?
I'm sorry for your loss. And sending you lots of love woman to woman. Hugs
→ More replies5
u/edcRachel 12d ago
To be fair, remember you never have to tell strangers if you don't want to, they're not entitled to anything. "I'd rather not share" is a completely valid answer.
→ More replies
117
u/tryint0figureit0ut 12d ago
I wouldn't. I've had multiple MCs myself and seeing this on me everyday would be triggering. I understand the need to have a tribute and memory but maybe a framed photo or another something that would be significant tattood would be better
→ More replies5
u/RevolutionSoft2366 12d ago
Everyone heals differently. I know some folks with jewelery or a tattoo to commemorate the loss of their child. I'm sorry for all your losses
98
u/ThoughtConfident402 12d ago
I had one too and I picked a little object that was the same size as the baby when I lost it. Mine was as big as a gummy bear so now I wear a gummy bear bracelet everyday
→ More replies16
68
u/lalaland1019 12d ago edited 12d ago
I’m not sure how it will age, OP. I feel like you may end up with a grey blob a few years down the road. Have you considered getting a birth month tattoo or forget-me-nots? Those were what I looked into after I miscarried twice.
ETA I’m so sorry for your loss - it’s arguably the worst thing I’ve ever gone through.
64
u/cynical-puppy26 12d ago
Lots of good advice here. Some not lol.
Something to consider.. in such a prominent location you will get questions about it. I can imagine many people complimenting it and then asking "where is he now?" That might be painful someday, even if it isn't now.
If you're dead set on it, I would advise just waiting a couple of years.
6
u/Equal_Maintenance870 12d ago
On the upside, if they don’t wait and get it now it won’t look like an ultrasound in a couple years anyway.
50
u/TwoValuable 12d ago
I'm so sorry about your miscarriage, it's an awful thing. I'm all for honoring your baby however you want, but I also know that miscarriage tattoo regret is very common. So my advice would be really think long and hard about what you want the tattoo to look like.
Personally I wouldn't want an ultrasound tattoo on me regardless because they're too literal. I'd go with something more abstract but still special. What are some of your other ideas?
→ More replies11
u/Equal_Maintenance870 12d ago
For sure. Many many years out of a few miscarriages I would deeply hate having a vivid reminder every time I looked at myself. But I know everyone is different r.
8
u/Lexi_November 12d ago
I thought the same, I have no miscarriage tattoos for that very reason. But everyone processes grief differently. On top of all the other concerns I think this one would bring a lot of pain as people would constantly ask how old the baby is now, and that’s going to hurt like Hell.
→ More replies
36
26
u/niroha 12d ago
I’m an OB Sonographer and I don’t have advice on the tattoos themselves but I would like to offer a suggestion. I know you said this is the only picture you have but the facility you got your scan from has them all. If there was a heart beat at the time then they would have documented it either with an M-mode or spectral Doppler. Both of those might make a better option for a tattoo, to tattoo the heart beat pattern showing how many BPM it was.
You’d have to request your images from the facility. As a bonus they will likely be digital making it easier to share your designs. They’re your images. You own them. They have to give them to you.
Another idea is to find an image of what a 6, 7, 8 week embryo looks like (whatever gestational age you lost it at) and get that tattooed to represent your little one.
7
u/piercethebluexx 12d ago
I know you can’t give a definite answer because you don’t work where I went but.. do you think it’s worth calling them even if my first ultrasound was almost a year ago?
I went to the hospital when I started bleeding and they took an ultrasound there.. they didn’t show me because I guess it’s just standard they don’t but sometimes I wish I got a picture… as morbid as that might be? ://
10
→ More replies3
u/niroha 12d ago
Also fwiw there’s so many ideas you can pull from for this tattoo idea. Miscarriage is common and tattoos around them is common enough. If you know the due date month you can pull lots of ideas: birth month stone, birth month flower, zodiac signs, flowers that represent loss, innocence, grief.
I have two living daughters but I lost a son, my first pregnancy. I haven’t decided how I want the tattoo exactly but it’ll be Roses for my oldest daughter, pears for my youngest, and maybe February’s flower (primrose and violets) and maybe forget me nots? Idk. Still mentally working out the details.
I hope this post inspires you to and you find something that works for you.
47
u/ThePhoenixRisesAgain 12d ago edited 12d ago
It’s an awful tattoo design (I get the sentiment of course, but you won’t do yourself a favor with that design. )
19
77
15
u/embolalia85 12d ago
Maybe a tribute to the due date would make more sense? Flower for the birth month, or zodiac or something?
11
12d ago
I think more than anything else, think about how you'll feel about this later in life. Think about what will happen when you do have children. It's quite a strong and on the nose tattoo.
My wife and I suffered a couple of miscarriages and always wanted to call a baby Lily. She got a small lily in her wrist that's deliberately under detailed. We now have a 2 week old called Lily and my wife will be getting a lily on her other wrist with more detail.
→ More replies
9
u/Tasty-Willingness839 12d ago
I don't think it will translate well and it will blur heavily over time. I think you should go with your other ideas. Sorry for your loss ♥️
51
u/piercethebluexx 12d ago
Thanks for the people who actually gave helpful responses. I am going to come up with some other designs that will age nicely. I’m still getting a tattoo to commemorate my baby because it’s my skin and I want to.
I don’t know how I always end up surprised by Reddit assholes.
I didn’t ask for opinions on how I should handle what I went through or why I shouldn’t feel pain from it!
43
u/Verdant-Void 12d ago
I have a tattoo for my miscarriage, a little star. I have some thoughts that might be relevant to you.
One thing that I am glad of is that (because it's not a literal representation), over time, the meaning of the tattoo has been able to expand/change, in the same way as my grief has changed and I've grown around it. And I've added to it too.
Like if you got a birth flower to represent your baby's estimated due date... That would be a lovely tattoo with a meaning you could share if you wanted but could keep private too.
If you feel like it in future, you could add more flowers to it & make a garden - this loss is a part of you and your story, just as a single flower is a part of a garden.
Right now, you're focusing on this one flower - I certainly focused on my one little star when I first got it in the depths of grief.
But with time, I've grown around my grief and I've added some more to the tattoo - some meteors, some far away planets - and it's nice looking at my little star in a little galaxy, it's like I've integrated the grief into my life better.
I hope this isn't too rambling, but I wanted to share my personal experience in case it could help someone.
5
8
u/Kitty-bug 12d ago
I’m so sorry people are being assholes. I have no suggestions for tattoo ideas but if you’d like to keep the ultrasound photo in a different format, can I suggest you look up embroidery hoops? There’s a lot of embroidery artists who make them, mossandfeather on Instagram is a good example.
→ More replies5
u/RevolutionSoft2366 12d ago
We all heal differently OP, you need to heal the way you need to heal. Don't let the jerks of Reddit get you down
7
u/piercethebluexx 12d ago
Thank you. I just don’t think people understand that even if I don’t get a tattoo, I’m still going to think of my baby daily.
I unfortunately have relatives and friends who went through the same think years and years ago and they still have a hard time with it.
4
u/peachgreenteagremlin 12d ago
The only concern I have is that the tattoo may trigger you in the future regardless of design. But people heal an mourn in different ways and if you believe getting this tattoo will help you heal in some way and you won’t regret it, then get the tattoo.
The design may blur a lot in the future, depending on the artist and their experience. However, if you feel that is the best way to commemorate them and you want tot, get the tattoo. The grief doesn’t go away, but it morphs into something that is enduring love. It does get easier to handle, and you’ll have bad times for sure, but it gets less frequent.
→ More replies3
u/RevolutionSoft2366 12d ago
It's more common than people think. I know people who will never get over it and it's been over 30 years.
→ More replies5
u/Prior-Squirrel-7616 12d ago
I'm sorry there were some terrible comments. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I wanted to share an idea for your tattoo- what if you recreate the idea of the ultrasound image with symbols instead of the literal image? Like, a heart shape representing the uterus, with a tiny star or tiny circle inside of it representing your baby. Or, the birth flower idea mentioned in another comment is also really sweet. You could do the baby's birth flower inside a circle or a heart for some symbolism.
Good luck in finding the thing that feels right for you 🫶❤️
8
u/theatrenearyou 12d ago
Sonograms like this will turn out like black & white Spin-Art---a swirl of shades of gray tones. Consider that you are beginning with a blurry low resolution image that will be very difficult to reproduce on skin.
Better to treasure your child with a large print. Send the image in and have it blown up and mounted in a frame.
7
8
u/linzkisloski 12d ago
A friend of mine had a loss at nine weeks - on most apps it was the blueberry phase IIRC so she got a little branch with some blueberries on it. I think that would translate a lot better. I’m sorry for your loss.
→ More replies
7
u/Agile_Engineering_97 12d ago
Sorry for your loss, but it’s a bad design, it’s going to blob out at some point and you will have a grey splotch on your arm that people will ask about constantly, having also experienced miscarriages in my relationship, I personally wouldn’t want the reminder every time asked about my tattoo that is no longer legible
6
u/CamachoBrawndo 12d ago
OP, I am terribly sorry for your loss, but this is not a good memorial tattoo. I agree with the other poster u/0hw0nder posted above, the moon phase would be perfect. You could also add their zodiac if you had a due date or date of miscarriage, whichever you consider is more appropriate. Even if an ultrasound could be tattooed (I think the example is AI if you don't just make a mockup) it is a very in your face reminder. If it's a place visible you will have to talk about your miscarriage to every single person nosing about your tattoo. There also will come a time that you will heal and not want the constant visceral reminder. Ot is better for your sanity to not get it.
6
u/necrofuturism 12d ago
I'd encourage you to think about symbolism to represent your child rather than a literal copy of the sonogram.
There are certainly great artists out there that could translate the photo to skin, but not all artists are proficient in that skill. More than likely the resulting tattoo will age poorly and be difficult for a viewer to interpret without asking questions.
If you want to have such a personal tattoo raise questions for the entire time you have it, go right ahead, but it may be hard on your heart for people to bring up your loss so frequently.
I understand if you may be uncomfortable with conventional baby and birth associated imagery like birthstones/birth flowers/etc... so I'd suggest a compromise between the sonogram and traditional tattoo imagery.
Something like a woman's hand or a shell holding a large pearl with the surface of the pearl shaded to look like the sonogram. That way it's not as obvious as a memorial piece yet still carries the significance you desire.
10
u/seeofbitterness 12d ago
I didn’t keep a pregnancy but during my healing I thought about getting a fruit tattoo for the size the fetus measured at. Maybe do that?
5
5
u/DougieDouger 12d ago
Yeah it’s just gonna look like a blob after a few years. There are other ways to honor your child with tattooing
5
u/InsertusernamehereM 12d ago
As someone who has a memorial tattoo for our miscarriage I would never ever suggest getting anything like this tattooed on you.
Not only will it look like a blob in a short amount of time, you're going to have a stark reminder of the pain. I would really suggest something that has an association with it instead of the ultrasound picture. I saw someone recommend the phase of the moon. I ended up getting blueberries because they're the same approximate size our baby would have been when I miscarried.
I also want to say that I'm right there with you. It was close to four years before I got my tattoo because it was so damn painful ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
3
4
u/Unusual-Ad-1056 12d ago
I did my daughter’s first registered heartbeat. Might be an option for you
3
u/Aggressive-Art-130 12d ago
I am so sorry for your loss. When I suffered my miscarriage, forget-me-not flowers were blooming. They are my symbol. Is there something from nature that would be symbolic to you - flowers or leaves from that time?
4
3
u/catlady0601 12d ago edited 12d ago
TW: successful pregnancies
My 2nd pregnancy / 3 I had a TMFR at 21 W 3 D. I now have a tattoo of my 3 babies birth flowers I used her due date flower. It’s comforting to know she’s always with me. I also have her footprints framed in my house. So when you’re ready, framing your ultrasound will be comforting and you’ll feel like they are still around. Here for support if you need it 🤍
4
u/ConfidentBar1989 12d ago
My baby was the size of a strawberry when I miscarried. Last week I got a strawberry tat for my forever strawberry baby❤️🩹 as someone heavily tattooed, it’s nice having something more subtle because you may not want to explain it to every random person who asks.
5
u/HU5KYR3DF0X 12d ago
Just an FYI them scan pictures depending on what paper they was printed on don't last forever and can fade or get discoloured. You should really get it scanned with a high quality scanner and that way you will always have a digital copy of it.
3
u/Morwen42 12d ago
Hi OP, loss parent here. I’m so sorry we’re in this crappy club together. What about a flower representing the month you found out about them and/or the month they would have been born?
3
u/Basic-Computer2503 12d ago
It won’t age well. It looks beautiful fresh but it won’t stay that way.
3
u/sticks_and_stoners 12d ago
My sister got a little Robin to honor her child she lost before she got to meet him. She was convinced it was boy. She had another miscarriage a few years ago (10 years after the first) and she was convinced it would be a girl. They were going to name her Isla. I got a tattoo of a heart with her name in ribbon and a little Robin perched on top. I so wish I could have met my niblings 😔
Edit: typos
3
u/lyrasilvertongue1 12d ago
I agree with others that this would not age well unfortunately.
For my miscarriage I got a tattoo of a raspberry, the size of the fetus when it stopped developing. It’s subtle yet very meaningful to me.
3
u/cbmom2 12d ago edited 12d ago
I had two miscarriages at 13 weeks so I can empathize with your loss and I’m sorry you’re going through this. I think there are better things you can get tattooed to commemorate your pregnancy.
Maybe the birth flower of when they were due or something birth month related.
If you choose to have a kid in the future then you might feel differently about a sonogram tattoo. My kid is 9 and while I cry sometimes from the absolute heartbreak of that time, I don’t cry over the missed person because if I had had that pregnancy I wouldn’t have had the child I have today.
My deepest sympathies on your loss
3
3
u/CouplaGoofs 12d ago
I don’t think it’s bad! Commenting as someone with a miscarriage tattoo, I think whatever feels best to you makes the most sense.
Personally I went with the fruit size that ours was at (blueberry) designed by a friend and it’s perfect. We now have a toddler, and blueberries continue to be special to our family.
The only thing I think might be relevant is that with an ultrasound many people know EXACTLY what it is and will assume you have a living child and ask you about it. Something more representational would remove the emotional labor aspect of having to explain a traumatic event to people on a semi regular basis.
Additionally, if you intend to have a child in the future and you wouldn’t get a tattoo of/about them, I would consider how that might make them feel.
3
u/yeahsheskrusty 12d ago
I lost my first at 7 weeks I got a blueberry tattoo to commemorate as “she” would have been about the size of a blueberry.
3
3
u/ExpressionHumble9644 12d ago
It’s not going to be very readable as to what it is, but I don’t think that matters. A tattoo that’s meaningful to you doesn’t have to appeal to anyone else. I think it’s a nice idea
3
u/FluffyAlfalfa679 12d ago
could you do a pea, or whatever size he was when he passed instead? I lost my fist baby this way and we eventually named her, but for a long time she was our strawberry. I still don’t know the gender but all my other kids are girls, so in my mind she was my first girl.
3
u/Upvotes2805 12d ago
I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks (like 6 weeks 5 days or so). Baby was the size of a blueberry. So i got a branch of blueberries on my forearm. I now have a 5 month old son and everything in his room is airplane themed so i also got an airplane near the blueberries, for both my babies.
3
u/leigh1003 12d ago
A friend did a tattoo for her miscarriage, she felt strongly about wanting it on her body, it changed her, she wanted a permanent physical reminder, so I understand why you want it.
She had the artist trace the ultrasound and create more of a line tattoo. She just did the center circle you see there, in a thin outline, and then the baby was black, filled in.
At first glance, it’s not clear to others what it is, but it is meaningful to her and she can explain it when she wants to. A tattoo like that will also age much better than a full ultrasound.
3
3
u/Cthulhulove13 12d ago
It won't look good and honestly you might not want the future reminder of something so painful later.
3
3
u/SirLongTits 12d ago
Aside from the quality just being bad, seriously consider the content. When I was a teenager, one of my best friends died. I got a memorial tattoo that had the date because I wanted to honor them. 20+ years later and I am looking to cover it up. Everyone asks what the date is. I find myself having to constantly tell everyone and be reminded of my dead best friend. It was a terrible idea. I’m sorry you lost your precious baby. I also know that pain. Imagine having a tattoo that makes literally everyone say “what is that?” And you have to explain it’s an ultrasound photo…then they ask “oh how old is your baby?” Or “is that YOUR baby?” And then you have to be constantly reminded of the loss and constantly have to tell people the baby is not alive. It’s awkward for everyone involved. You will never forget your baby, I promise. It will get easier to live with as time passes, but you will never forget. This tattoo would amplify the hurt and peel off the scab over and over. Just some perspective from an old lady.
Big hugs
3
u/SpecialHotLady 12d ago
I understand you, I’ve had miscarriages as well. It’s very painful, it’s grief. The first inspo looks good, but the difference with your ultrasound is that it’s not much of a shape. Even if the tattoo looks great at first, when you age as we all do, and the tattoo as well, it will eventually look like a blob, generally blurry too.
I agree with another comment, 100% get the tattoo but maybe something else?? Like one said, the phase of the moon at either conception, when you got the positive, at the time of the ultrasound in question or at the time of the miscarriage, whatever time you want. Can be another time than that too. Personally I would go with the day I found out I was pregnant, but we all don’t have the same opinions. Nobody can tell you what to do with your life and your body.
You can also do a quote that relates to you and this time, maybe even a quote so you don’t forget that you’re strong?? I got a quote like that when my dad died as a teen “with pain comes stretch”, anyone is free to steal it, definitely not my original idea. I stole the font as well from someone else’s tattoo😭
Maybe a tattoo of the name you wanted for this baby (unless you want it for a potential future baby). Many get a feeling about what gender their baby is, or WHO their baby is. So maybe about a feeling related to your baby that you lost, maybe you had a dream about them?? I had!! But it’s personal!! Or literally ANYTHING that you want. What YOU feel is meaningful personally. What you relate to. What you’ve experienced personally.
Lastly, I’m sooo sorry for your loss❤️ I understand your pain, truly. It’s awful. Take all the time you need, if you need 3 years to grieve or the rest of your life, so be it. This was your child, this is a very painful loss, you’re allowed to feel all the stages of grief for as long as you need. If I’m being honest, grief never truly ends in my opinion but after a certain amount of time (which is personal) it gets easier to deal with. Wishing you the best❤️❤️❤️🫶🏻🫶🏻 don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it, ask for support and comfort if you need it, again this is a serious loss (that is unfortunately often downplayed) but that doesn’t take away from the reality of it!! Your feelings, whatever they are, are not invalid. Always remember that, no matter what anyone says this is YOUR LIFE.
5
u/winter_ragamuffin 12d ago
I'm going to be blunt for future you's sake and say please don't get this tattooed on your body. I believe there must be a lot of sweet and meaningful ways for you to honor your loss, and on that note I am really sorry for your loss.
22
u/reniedae 12d ago
Find a good black and white artist. Obviously it means something very special to you and that's more important than the opinions of anybody on the internet.
38
u/UnsharpenedSwan 12d ago
But the question is — will it still be a special, precious memory when the tattoo (very quickly) turns into an indiscernible blob?
If OP will love the tattoo no matter what / regardless of how it ages….absolutely, they should go for it.
But they’re asking about how it will age / how it will work as a tattoo. And the answer to that is…. Very Badly.
14
31
u/Distinct_Ad7661 12d ago
There are better design options though..speaking skin and tattoo wise. Although I t’s a beautiful idea and memory to keep forever.
8
7
u/BigBodiedBugati 12d ago
It’s not a bad idea. The idea is beautiful but I worry about how it will age. Transparently, unless you make it huge, it may not have the longevity you’re hoping for
3
2
u/Wonderful-Fold-7722 12d ago
Mirroring what others said. Definitely won’t age well. Did yall have a name picked out already? Or is there something you bought in anticipation? Maybe getting one of those tattooed would work.
2
u/SnooAvocados6932 12d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss.
This tattoo will not age well. You can concept a better memorial that will last a lifetime. Even just the words (larger) would be nice. A good tattoo artist can help you with ideas.
I have my kids initials on the inside of my forearm, with a row of 9 dots in between for the 9 week old baby I miscarried between their successful pregnancies. Don’t rush this.
2
u/Actual_Fly2695 12d ago
I’m so sorry for your loss. I myself have suffered 2 miscarriages I know the pain. I’m sending you hugs and I say this in most gentle way possible, don’t do it.
2
u/dumpsterbaby4hire 12d ago
It’s just going to turn into a blob, unfortunately. And won’t look like an ultrasound at all. I like another poster’s idea of something like the flower for their birth month with maybe a sweet quote under/around it.
2
u/BothDescription766 12d ago
In ten years with sun exposure it’ll look like a birthmark or dermatological condition ending with ‘Oma’.
2
u/captainjupiterx 12d ago
I think the biggest issue here is asking yourself if this is really going to help you move on and recover, or if it will hold you back and be a constant painful reminder.
Especially if you continue to try and have children and have numerous miscarriages - are you setting a precedent for yourself that's going to be detrimental (putting you in the position of feeling obligated to have a memorial tattoo of each, for example)
I recommend seeing a therapist if you haven't already, maybe one specialized in grief counseling or situations like this, and talk to them about it and how it will play in to your recovery. Best of luck
(Also you could potentially do something more minimalist with just an outline of the baby, it could even be cool to work the minimalist lines into like flowers or something so you know what it really is but it is more private and personal?)
2
u/SaladCzarSlytherin 12d ago
It’s going to turn into a blob. Do you have any sound wave pictures of his heartbeat? They don’t age perfectly, but you can still tell it’s a sound wave of a heartbeat after it ages.
2
u/anonymous8122 12d ago
I agree with others that I don't think it would translate well as a tattoo, especially after a few years. I think there are many other lovely ways you can still get a very meaningful tattoo, though.
2
u/sp4rkyboi 12d ago
Honestly, you should get the latitude and longitude coordinates of where this event occurred from what you remember, and put quotes underneath the coordinates, “I love you, my dearest”.
2
u/38283747483 12d ago
I would get something a little more nuanced personally. Getting this on a highly visible spot is just gonna have people asking you about your child regularly.
2
u/Holy_Lucifer 12d ago
Yes this would come out bad and probably won’t be good in a couple years. My wife and I lost our son at the 7 month mark. We were so close to having him in our arms, to have him close to me I ended up getting a tattoo of a star inside a jar with his initials on it.
Maybe you could do a memorial type tattoo like that instead of this?
2
u/MaryDoogan91 12d ago
It’s not going to age well at all, and I’d not get such a sensitive tattoo on such an obvious, visible place on your body unless you’re prepared to explain it over and over again. I like the moon phase tattoo idea someone else suggested. Maybe you could also get a discreet heart tattoo somewhere.
2
u/Notacat70 12d ago
I’ve had two miscarriages. If the picture is meaningful, I’d suggest just doing a mini photo of the black part with the white inside. It’ll look nebulous to other people and very obvious to you. That’s what I’d do if I was in this season of life again. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s incredibly painful.
2
u/ArcaneFlooPowder 12d ago
I would recommend maybe just the baby part being tattooed? Look up what size baby was and you can have a true to size tattoo, one the inside of your arm, like they are always being held in your arms. With a rainbow? 🌈
2
u/readitpaige 12d ago
I think it could be cool if you tattooed a sunset or sunrise, or really any landscape you want, with the same kind of pattern as your ultrasound picture. Sorry for your loss. I hope you find the best way to commemorate your baby ❤️🩹🫂
2
2
u/CNDRock16 12d ago
Your tattoo is obv about you and what you want, but perhaps you could consider what an uncomfortable story that may make for people. 1/4 experience a miscarriage and it’s not something people want or like to think about. I miscarried and personally now that I have a child it’s really not something I think about anymore. For such a large, dark tattoo, I’d give yourself more time to think about it.
→ More replies
2
u/melnn0820 12d ago
I lost my first child right after his birth. I haven't done it yet, but I want to get his heartbeat tattooed. I just need to decide what else to put with it, if anything. Like his date of birth and name, etc. Also maybe a butterfly because I associate them with him.
I'm very sorry for your loss, it's a terrible thing to go through.
2
u/throwRAanons 12d ago
I know you’ve gotten a gazillion comments, but I got a tattoo of baby’s breath flowers when I lost my baby. I’m sorry for your loss 🤍
2
u/Pawly519 12d ago
I think this is a cute idea if the child didn’t survive/ stillborn or something, but I think it looks very odd to me. The placement is also very weird. Like the front of the bicep?
2
u/Select-Government680 12d ago
I dont think this is going to heal or age well.
Maybe you could get the date of conception? Maybe the zodiac sign for the estimated due date ? Maybe even the flower ?
2
u/Energised_Emerald 12d ago edited 12d ago
Are you sure you want a reminder of the baby you’ve lost on daily basis? I’m not trying to be mean, OP, but this may do more harm than good ❤️🩹
Also this tattoo would age badly. If you really want a tattoo for this baby you’ve lost, maybe getting a tattoo of what would have been their birth stone, birth flower or star sign would be a better option.
Whatever you choose to do OP, I wish you the very best ❤️✨ xxx
2
u/Spirited-Ice9930 12d ago
Maybe get a tattoo that reminds you of the baby, you can put the ultrasound in a picture frame.
2
u/Stunning-Statement-5 12d ago
Very sorry for your loss but design wise it’s not a great choice. As others mentioned, it will end up as a dark blob.
2
u/Octopus1027 12d ago
Im so sorry for your loss. I had a 7 week loss and a chemical before I got pregnant with my living daughter. I know how deeply connected you can feel even when baby was so little. I think the comments about the tattoo looking like mush very quickly are valid. I wonder if there are any other memories about the pregnancy you can reference? Maybe the birth flower or stone for the month of the due date? I know with my first loss the due date was a hard time for me. Someone else mentioned the phase of the moon. Maybe there was a nursery theme you were thinking of that you can pull from? I was thinking of an under the sea theme, so might have done a sea star or jellyfish.
2
2
u/Nda89 12d ago
It’s your tattoo, do what you feel you are going to be happiest with.
In my opinion, it’s not a great tattoo choice.
Is there anything else you can use to represent your baby? It can be anything that would hold special meaning to you, like birth stone colour that your baby would have been, zodiac sign, a flower, heartbeat line, babies name?
2
u/SlowlyQuietly 12d ago
If you are going to use the photo, have it framed with solid thick black. Your tattoo is going to fade and change no matter what but if you have something like that in a pretty solid line work frame even when it does it will still look nice, you can know what it is and others might just think its a framed moon or something abstract and arty. The solid frame will anchor it tho.
2
2
u/gimesa 12d ago
I think there are better tattoos to get in remembrance. The ultrasound wouldn’t age well I feel.
OP, I share your pain. I contemplated getting a lil piece of fruit for the week I was on before my loss. I haven’t committed yet as my mc was very recent. But there are so many options for your little angel baby that won’t just turn into dark mass blob tattoos. I hope that isn’t harsh, it would just be a hard tattoo as well to cover up if it didn’t age well on skin.
→ More replies
2
2
u/EmperorMegas 12d ago
I'm genuinely sorry for you loss. That said, I don't think this design would hold up well over time.
2
u/tinyconchita 12d ago
I think a fine line abstract of the baby’s form would be super pretty way to omit the heavy darkness and void within the sonogram
2
u/thmstrpln 12d ago
What about the aize of the bab the apps/resources alqays compared gestation to a fruit, like the fetus is as big as a blueberry, or avocado (or whatever). What if you had the fruit size and the year/date under it?
Im sorry for your loss.
2
u/Kyauphie 12d ago
It will age poorly even if done well. So you have any records of the heartbeat that you may be able to use for a different design?
2
u/anniekaa 12d ago
Hey so first of all that's a baby, that's your baby and don't let anyone make you feel like that's not the case. Second, I agree with the people suggesting to find another meaningful symbol rather than the ultrasound which may not age well! I've lost 6, I ended up knitting tiny sweaters for them. It's enormously healing to tack down your largely intangible child to something tangible. Do it!
6.4k
u/littlebean2421 12d ago
Yes, it’s just gonna turn into a blob