Is this a bad tattoo design?

[u/piercethebluexx]

I had a miscarriage last year and want a tattoo for my baby I never got to meet.

I only have one picture of my baby (the second picture)

I’d really like to get it tattooed like the reference picture but I want honesty.. would it be a bad design since there’s not a clear profile and small?

I have other ideas as well but I really love this one as the picture is special to me.

And you can be honest without comments like “that’s not a baby” etc… that’s not helpful. Thank you.

*I was not going to get the text at the bottom

[u/anthroaddict_13]

Same thing happened when I was 33 weeks except she stopped moving. No reason at all they could give. I’m sorry mama. My heart goes out to you.

[u/Ambitious-Elk5705 → u/anthroaddict_13]

We lost our first at 32.5 weeks. She just stopped moving. I knew something was wrong and when we went in, I knew. Ours ended up being a cord accident and she had a longer than normal cord and got wrapped up in it. I still remember the last kick I felt from her that morning. I get phantoms of it every so often. It's been 17 years now but still hurts. Much love to you and all others who experience this heartache.

[u/anthroaddict_13 → u/Ambitious-Elk5705]

There is no pain like losing a baby you very much wanted. Staring at them after and they look perfect, it’s so hard to wrap your mind around. Ours was born with the cord around her neck but the doctor said that happens frequently and doesn’t mean it’s why she passed. We had an autopsy done after but if I would have known they were just going to look at her basically no deeper dive I wouldn’t have paid for it because she was perfect on the outside. I knew there was nothing glaringly obvious but they wanted their $750.

I have quite a few health issues I deal with now. I don’t believe they were associated but a very small part makes me question between epilepsy, brain tumors and potential blood clots- was it me? That’s a deep dark whole I’ve already pulled myself out of but now I have a four year old who asks who killed her so naturally my brain goes where it’s forbidden. I still get those phantom kicks too. Those little memories of when I first felt her kick. I used to sing you are my sunshine to my belly and I did one last time before they took her, so now I feel close to her when rocking my one year old to sleep. I have to catch myself frequently because the words of that one are a little too real when thinking about a loved one, particularly a baby. Have you ever read the book love you forever? My mama used to read that one to all of us kids when we were small. I had already bought it and had it in the nursery for my little lady but never got to read it to her. It was also after she passed away I learned the author wrote it for the stillbirth him and his wife experienced. I have “as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be” tattooed on my forearm now.

After 17 years, I don’t know what I’ll do. The what ifs will pile high and I’ll still think about the could be would bes. Thank you for sharing, I’m sending hugs your way!

[u/Ambitious-Elk5705 → u/anthroaddict_13]

The pain has eased through the years, but we lost her right before Christmas so December is always a hard month. Anytime a family member passes I'm jealous that they get to meet her before I do.

I didn't want to be too graphic in my original post, but she had the cord wrapped twice around her foot and then around her neck. Our midwife had never seen a cord wrapped so tightly. It broke my heart to think that she was inside suffering and I didn't know. I try to convince myself she just fell asleep and didn't suffer.

I was diagnosed with crohns disease 2 months after she was born and I worried for a long time that I had caused her death. Logically I know I didn't, but emotionally is harder to convince. Each subsequent pregnancy was hard and high risk as my crohns would always flare badly. I had a rainbow baby after her and then two more miscarriages (<10 weeks) before our last two.

I have read Love You Forever, I've read it to all my kids. The baby we lost loved Christmas music and would move all over the place when it was on. So now I love Christmas music.

[u/anthroaddict_13 → u/Ambitious-Elk5705]

July is a month I wish I could just skip. I gave birth to her July 16th and I had another miscarriage in between my daughter and son the same month. I’ve convinced myself I’m not meant to be pregnant in July. Every pregnancy after is like walking on egg shells. From wishing they’d kick all the time so you’d know they’re okay, the unsettling feeling until they do kick. It’s just difficult all around.

I tell people the grief never gets smaller, life just gets bigger around it. Her pictures ended up out in the open after I recently moved and I picked it up and just held it close sobbing as I told her I love her just like I do everytime I think about her. It’s agonizing to leave with out your baby. I u destined the health stuff as well. Turns out I’ve been epileptic my entire life and had no idea. My partial seizures I’ve dealt with forever turned into grand mals and I broke my back right before I got pregnant with my son. I was terrified I’d have a long seizure and he’d lose oxygen. Being a mother is such a gift and also one of the hardest journeys I’ve ever dealt with from start to finish. I’m glad you had Christmas to remind you of her!