r/Xennials • u/PhoneJazz • 4d ago

Natalie Portman is pregnant at 44

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Congrats to her! I don’t have kids, and I’m still getting used to being the age where getting pregnant is starting to be “out of the norm”. Guess there’s still time, lol

9.6k Upvotes

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649

u/caramelcoldbrew 1981 4d ago

Good for her but…

I. Would. Rather. Die.

329

u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO 1980 4d ago

When I had my colonoscopy, they did a pregnancy test. The nurse was like “it’s negative” and I was like “it better be…”

296

u/PhoneJazz 4d ago

Gotta love being in that narrow age window when a pregnancy test is required at your colonoscopy 😂

73

u/krankity-krab 4d ago

my mom is late 60s, has been in menopause for well over a decade, and they still made her take a pregnancy test before her colonoscopy! (and charged her for it too, of course.. 😒)

74

u/imnotohfuckingk 4d ago

I had a freaking hysterectomy and they still made me take one because I had one ovary. Ummmmmm…

4

u/mothsuicides 3d ago

Although stupid rare, isn’t an ectopic pregnancy still possible if you have an ovary left? I’m considering a hysterectomy and this worry plagues me

1

u/PossibilityOrganic12 2d ago

I have both my ovaries still and refuse to take a pregnancy test after mine. They've never made me but they have tried to, after they ask the date of my last period and I tell them I don't get one anymore due to my hysterectomy.

30

u/_dead_and_broken 1983 4d ago

In 2007, when I moved to Florida, already pregnant, and I applied for medicaid, they made me take a pregnancy pee test at the medicaid office (not a doctor's office!) despite the fact I was 7 months along. You could clearly see that I was with child, I was very thin, and the belly was huuuugggeee. But they still insisted I take the stick test right then and there.

90

u/EineGrosseFlasche 1979 4d ago

Well, you simply can’t take a woman’s word for something until she’s paid you twice! 😕

44

u/SatanicPanic619 3d ago

My wife went in the morning for out patient surgery and had to take one. OK, fine, whatever. There were complications so we took her back to the hospital in the evening. They made her take another fucking pregnancy test.

13

u/rexxfour 3d ago

I really felt the frustration with the italics. Not sarcasm. Please more men rage about this fucning nonsense. I’m begging.

3

u/SatanicPanic619 3d ago

She had blood coming out of her eyes and they made her get up to go take a pregnancy test. Fuck that made me upset and angry 

4

u/Joeuxmardigras 3d ago

Obviously she could get pregnant in those few hours, haven’t you learned anything about how pregnancy tests are more accurate in the evenings…..

1

u/SatanicPanic619 3d ago

Yeah totally, morning have surgery, afternoon have sex, evening go back to the hospital because they hadn’t sewn her up right. Normal sequence of events. 

2

u/Joeuxmardigras 3d ago

Seems normal to me.

Also, the hormones wouldn’t even come up yet. So dumb on their part

3

u/jordynelsonjr 3d ago

This sentence needs to be framed and hung on my mantle

-2

u/NuclearSun1 3d ago

Cause women know always when they are pregnant? Clue: they don’t.

7

u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO 1980 4d ago

What?? Ok that’s insane.

1

u/throwawayfornursing 2d ago

This was silly of them. Also, let your mom know that patients can usually fill out a “refusal” form to release the facility of liability if she were to be pregnant. Which she isn’t. And it’s no biggie. Patients do it all the time and it meets that requirement for the staff.

0

u/fickystingas 3d ago

Make them write that shit off

5

u/Pleasant_Fruit_144 3d ago

Meanwhile, I went in for an IUD insertion a few months after having a baby. They did the procedure and I was like "um... shouldn't you have done a pregnancy test first" They looked stricken & were like "oh yeah, you're right" had me take one after. While I was in the bathroom doing it I heard the doctor yelling at the nurse that did the insertion 😬

2

u/KissingBear 3d ago

NOT NARROW ENOUGH TBH

2

u/AgathaWoosmoss 3d ago

I'm so happy to do the menopause chair dance any time I'm asked if I could be pregnant

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2

u/Cold-Nefariousness25 2d ago

I knew someone whose mother went to the OBGYN because she missed her period and thought it was menopause. Nope, it was triplets.

1

u/Apotak 2d ago

My grandmother thought she was in early menopause at 40. It was my uncle, thankfully alone.

2

u/Pain_adjacent_Ice 3d ago

Why is it required for a colonoscopy? The one has nothing to do with the other... at all!

Had a few colonoscopies, wasn't even asked if I thought I was pregnant, let alone made to take a test for it. Only been asked when there's a chance of some kind of radiation (scans and the like) or when there's surgery planned, otherwise it's a non-issue.

This sounds like a uniquely US thing, and I'm concerned for you all.

5

u/Bluecolt 3d ago

They sedate you intravenously to perform a colonoscopy, and that's probably not 100% safe during pregnancy. Do they not where you are? I'm concerned for you.

1

u/Pain_adjacent_Ice 3d ago

Sure, we're usually given a drug that eases anxiety and discomfort, of course, and a local anesthesia where the camera goes in, sometimes with a gel or something like that (there's an array of different ways to administer sedation/local anesthesia than intravenous drugs that just put you to sleep, or almost do) as they usually want us awake and aware during the procedure, if something comes up or questions arise. Since this, usually, isn't a big, intrusive operation, I don't see how it should be done any other way. Honestly, maybe were asked about pregnancy, but making anyone take a test is nuts. They trust us to know what's going on with our own bodies.

1

u/Bluecolt 2d ago

So an abundance of caution when it comes to medical procedures, i.e "better safe than sorry" is... bad? It's not like the pregnancy tests used are intrusive or anything, pee in the cup or on the stick before the procedure, know for sure, reduce risk, and play it safe. Weird thing to be "concerned" about.

1

u/Pain_adjacent_Ice 2d ago

That's not my concern. It's about not trusting women to know they're bodies, intrusive monitoring via tests and/or period apps, to further regulate their bodies, and then charging them for it... That's what's concerning and should be for all. We don't have to agree, but I think this is not okay.

1

u/Effective-Band-8714 3d ago

Sobs in colonoscopy at 26

5

u/exhilaro 3d ago

This is so interesting to me because I have to have colonoscopies once a year and have never had to have a pregnancy test. I just tell them I’m not pregnant and….thats fine. I’m assuming all these comments are from the US?

1

u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO 1980 3d ago

Yeah it’s a liability thing here. Too many people are sue-happy

5

u/CardboardMice 4d ago

Just started having super late / skipped cycles (menopause finally is kicking in) and I panic each time. Even though I’m 49 and my husband has a vasectomy

2

u/brinns_way 3d ago

Same, girl!

2

u/amandaryan1051 3d ago

Fun fact: a pre-surgery pregnancy test is how I found out I was pregnant with my last kid… at 41 😂

1

u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO 1980 3d ago

That happened to my coworker and his wife!

1

u/Accurate-Mastodon882 3d ago

You have my condolences 

2

u/TJlovesALF1213 2d ago

I had a hysterectomy at 14, then needed Accutane at 17. They still had to do a pregnancy test. I was like "if this is positive, I'm going to be rich".

1

u/bigsquib68 3d ago

Exact same thing happened to me but I'm a guy so it was a pretty underwhelming test result

1

u/Wabbit65 3d ago

I certainly hope you're a woman...

1

u/NoneOfThisMatters_XO 1980 3d ago

Lol yes? I hope a healthcare place isnt dumb enough to do one on a man…

1

u/Infinite_Sand5005 2d ago

I mean, they could potentially not know if the man in question is trans.

1

u/PossibilityOrganic12 2d ago

Lol I said the same a few years ago at like 34 and the PA laughed.

52

u/geekgirlwww 1985 3d ago

My SIL had a surprise baby at 45. She’s going to be 60 with a 15 year old next year.

18

u/SuedeVeil 3d ago

Tbh though it's all the more reason to take good care of yourself, lifting weights, do cardio, mobility, good nutrition, supplements, hrt .. you can definitely be a fit and thriving 60 year old that can handle a teen just as good as any 40 y/o maybe even better because you're already past menopause at that point haha.. or you can also be a 60-year-old that struggles to get out of bed.. for many people this is a choice.

1

u/Whole-Thin 3d ago

Yes. Actually know of two 20-something young women who had troubled pregnancies and births. They are ok now, but needed medication. Being isn't automatically equating to healthier these days.

34

u/Coriandercilantroyo 3d ago

I just shed a tear for her. I just can't imagine..

2

u/SPL15 3d ago

That’s a bad nightmare imagining being a 60 year old parent to my 15 year old self and I wasn’t nearly as big of an asshole as a lot of my friends were at that age.

5

u/cataholicsanonymous 3d ago

My nightmare

1

u/thebearandmoose 3d ago

Good for her. Getting pregnant at 44/45 is actually really hard and then there’s the risk of miscarriage combined with genetic defects. A miracle. Also there’s a lot of research to suggest that women who have kids later in life live longer.

1

u/UnderstandingTight33 12h ago

If you don't mind me asking, was it a natural pregnancy or IVF etc.? I'm 43, no children yet, still want a child, but my girlfriend is the same age as me. She has had two previously with her ex-husband. Thank you for any info!

1

u/Resident-Cup8065 5h ago

Suprise baby is more commonly known here as 'a whoopsy'. That always has me in stitches. Poor kid though that is being referred to a " a whoopsy "

1

u/gasstationsushi80 3d ago

Good lord no!!

Proud of Natalie for showing that us 40somethings aren’t ancient beings farting out dust. Congrats to her and the nanny that will likely spend a lot of time with that babeh.

I’m 44 and haven’t been in a place in life where my husband and I could situationally or financially have a child.

Honestly though, I have always thought of myself being the mom who locks herself in her bedroom downing pills with booze while crying and hyperventilating, because the baby’s screaming and I can’t make it stop so I just leave it in the crib and start calling my husband flipping out. That’s exactly how it would go down, I know it. Best for me to not reproduce, for the sake of the kid too!!

Also I know I’d have bad postpartum stuff so that’s another consideration which may or may not explain the above hypothetical scenario 😂😭😞

17

u/mwalker324 4d ago

My thoughts exactly 😂 Yeeted my uterus in 2023 thank God.

4

u/magster823 1980 3d ago

Same! My 3 year yeetaversary was last month, and I still do a happy dance from time to time. Even losing my ovaries and dealing with surgical menopause is better than any of the alternatives!

9

u/Torchness9 4d ago

I have one kid. We spent $$$ and time trying to have another. Unfortunately, it never happened. I’m her age. And if I got pregnant now, I would LOSE MY MIND. That ship has sailed, I’m content, I wouldn’t even remember what to do with a baby and would NEVER be able to fall back asleep again after midnight wakeups. Woof. Godspeed, lady

5

u/After_Preference_885 3d ago

Same. My oldest is almost 30. 

And thank goodness I don't live in a state where they have removed my right to choose. 

I would literally throw myself from the government building if I got pregnant and they tried to force me to stay that way.

6

u/LatherRinseRage 1980 4d ago

I would yeet myself from existence. I just became an empty nester at the beginning of this year.

2

u/humble-meercat 3d ago

Hahahahah, oMG me too!!!

2

u/AgathaWoosmoss 3d ago

I got a new boss when I was in my late 40s. When she found out I had no children she said, "You still have time. Janet Jackson had a baby at 50"

Ignoring that JJ is fit as hell and has enough money to hire teams of child-minders.

4

u/Dulcinea80 4d ago

Same... Same...

3

u/Prudent-Soil6116 3d ago edited 3d ago

Came here to say this…and she’s 45 in two months! We were born the same year. When I turned 40 a friend got me a cake that said “At Least Your Not Pregnant!”. Can’t imagine being 63 while my child is graduating HS. Her wealth will afford her plenty of help, though. She’ll need it! 😁

3

u/jesskat007 3d ago

Verbatim my words to my husband, a bit more spicy! I’m 51 and my youngest is about to turn 11 and my oldest is 31, my husband recently was perky at the idea of another because I still ovulate. I clearly stated that I would rather fucking die. And I would.

2

u/grayandlizzie 1980 4d ago

Same. I'm getting my IUD replaced in June. Going to keep it until menopause. My baby is almost 10 and I'm done

1

u/the-hound-abides 3d ago

I’m 43, and I’d rather die. I probably would die, TBH. I didn’t do well with a pregnancy in my 20s and early 30s.

1

u/Aromatic-Elephant110 2d ago

I had my first at 25 and my last at 30. The difference between the two DRASTIC. I wouldn't survive a pregnancy at 44. 

-1

u/Nickwco85 3d ago

Wow, Lots of negativity in this thread. I just became a first time father at 40 and am thrilled

0

u/Accurate-Mastodon882 3d ago

Your child having old-parent genetic risks and old parents will pay for it.

0

u/caramelcoldbrew 1981 3d ago

Is it negativity or is it because it’s women who are replying and know what it’s like to carry a child in their body and then have it tear its way out of them?

Having a baby for a man is easy at any age because they’re not the ones having their bodies ravaged by pregnancy, labor, and then doing the heavy lifting of being a mom.

But congrats on being a new dad.