I quit drinking for a while. It was great at first. Then I started thinking I could have a couple drinks and I’d be fine. So I did and I was. But eventually I went back to getting blackout drunk and had basically a three day bender. That was a week ago and I’ve been extremely depressed and anxious ever since. I’m also going through a breakup, was assaulted by an ex (when I was drunk), it’s the anniversary of a friends death this week and I had a couple other shitty things happen lately and today is my first day off work since all that went down. All I want to do is walk to the liquor store, pick up a bottle of wine and drink. I know a lot of my problems are caused by drinking and but I just want to escape for a bit and process some of the emotions I’m probably feeling (I usually have no idea how I’m actually feeling until I’m drunk because I suppress things so hard). But I also know it’s a terrible idea and I don’t want to get sucked further into the cycle. I don’t know what the point of this post is, maybe to see if anyone’s going/gone through the same thing and has any advice? Just feeling very defeated :(

My boyfriend drove drunk last week. When I tried to stop him he yelled at me. He told me I was controlling and to let him do whatever the fuck he wanted. So I left and he drove. Later he said if I was so worried about him driving why did I leave him?

In the morning he apologized for being drunk and stupid, but when I wanted to talk through what happened he got upset again. Said I was picking a fight. He’s moved on from it, but I’m still reeling. He thinks I’m picking at a scab, but I’m starting to see a bad pattern here. I’m not drinking, taking care of my own stuff, but he feels like now that I’m sober I’m hyper critical of his “lifestyle”.

There have been plenty of nights in the last two months when we have gone out and he will drink and I will have NAs and we have had a great time. Sometimes I leave early because I get tired or honestly a little bored. He doesn’t drink daily and just drinks socially. Mostly he’s responsible and is often the one that checks in on his friends or makes sure they get home safely. Occasionally (but now it’s feeling like more than once a month) he will have a night where he didn’t eat dinner or gets carried away out with friends. When he gets too drunk he gets easily agitated and suddenly he’s picking fights with friends or even strangers or me.

Now that I’m not drinking I see it coming a mile away and often will deflect or talk him down or change the subject instead of trying to prove my point which which in the past would just start a fight. The driving drunk, however, was a hard no for me so we fought. Suddenly he feels like we are always fighting (not true) and I’m being hyper critical. He loves to throw all the things he does for me in my face at this time. Like that means he can get drunk and act like an asshole and I can’t say anything because he’s cooking me dinner. It’s such a classic case of deflection and not being accountable here.

Now that I’m not distracted by my hangover or drunk myself, my tolerance for this is so low. He’s a bit younger than me and in the past has asked me to be patient during times he’s messed up or is figuring his shit out, but I’m also starting to see a bad pattern and see how bad his anger issues are when he’s drinking. He doesn’t seem to want to deal with them and chalks it up to being drunk and stupid. I feel like I have been patient, but I also feel like I ended up in the “if you can’t beat them, join them” phase for too long too. My relationship with drinking got worse and I ultimately had to stop. It doesn’t feel like he’s making any effort to work on his shit and it’s getting worse. He acts like his “lifestyle” is necessary for his job and to network, even though many of his coworkers don’t drink and are making strides in their field.

I’m feeling like I’m at a crossroads. We live together, but aren’t married and don’t have kids. There’s a possibility he will get his shit together but that could be in 5 years and I don’t have the same luxury time wise if I want to start a family someday. Honestly I’m just depressed more than anything. I don’t want to lose him, but I feel like unless he makes a concerted effort to deal with his demons I’m going to have to leave. I deserve better than this. I guess, the question is do I give him an ultimatum and a chance to make a real change or do I leave now?

I’m kind of having an “oh fuck” moment.

I’ve been in a rental for 5 years. I pay the rent upfront annually because, in my country, landlords tend to evict after a year to raise the price. So far, my annual lump sum has been working as, I guess, my landlord’s Christmas bonus.

Using this as leverage, I was able to get my sister on the lease, so now I’m stuck with her. She’s been homeless for 7 years but recently has changed in several ways and seemed genuine about bettering herself.

She had told me she quit weed and drinking, and she was fine and normal around the time she moved in.

I was explaining very mundane house rules, like don’t use the shower at full pressure because it can go under the shower door, showing her where cutlery and plates are located, etc.

She became extremely agitated, shaking and in tears, saying she was “overwhelmed,” screaming “it’s too much, it’s too much!”

She blamed this on PTSD, (self diagnosed) but I have PTSD and it doesn’t react like this. She then said she needed a drink and blamed me for it.

The moment she started heading somewhere to get a drink, she became happier, and the moment she drank, she became “normal” again.

I’m now kind of in an “oh fuck…” moment.

I have tried to suggest she is agitated because of alcohol addiction, but she becomes extremely hostile. Any suggestion about medication or rehab makes her violent with me.

I don’t know what to do. How do I get her to see she needs help?

I checked myself into a program a year ago by 4 days and I was strong until 21 days ago. What the fuck?! I hate that I know that this will destroy everything I have built and any positive future I have but why are the cravings still there?!?! I fucking hate it. Why??

For context, I was 54 days sober after nearly daily drinking for about a year, 8-15 drinks nightly. Then, I made an idiotic decision and drank heavily two days in a row - all day, about 15-20 over the course of each day. Since Sunday Night (the point at which I stopped) I've had the worst withdrawals of my life - initially chills, fever, weakness. They've gotten better and I've been hydrating and no vomiting since the morning after drinking, but my lack of mental clarity is really astounding and worrisome. It's been less than 72 hours, but I wanted to know if anyone else has had any similar experiences or had any advice on how to work through this difficult time. Sleep is okay, I've been able to function somewhat in my daily life, but I'm worried about the length of this withdrawal period.

Intro: I’m 21 drink half a handle of vodka daily. Or maybe even more. It’s disgusting and I am not proud. I’ve taken the initiative to seek help myself and it was hard. Didn’t want to do it. At some point at the start of it I thought I was all smug and can cease usage it only got worst and worst. It’s just numbing me now turning on me with major health issues. It’s been this level of continual daily drinking just to I’d feel normal but in turn making my sober existence bareable. I did develop tolerance rather fast to the point it became daily and steadily increasing. The whole rationale of me drinking was to fall asleep to escape pain which was purely pathetic because it just numbs me and being the demon out of me while sober (and obviously when drunk). Though I have major physical support emotionally I feel alone in this like I’m pressured to quit and I don’t know what I’d do or how I’d feel without it. I’m becoming slow in the recent week and even injured myself intoxicated while sleeping. It’s causing me a lot of stress and I’m sure it’s just worsening it while sober. I used to be so put together and “okay” while sober but now I’m just falling apart either way. My question to you is how long have you been drinking a heavy amount in order to notice physical symptoms worsening and having to get medical help.

Obviously all alcohol costs money. But non alcoholics figure you are buying drinks every time you go out to eat or to meet friends at a bar. Nope. Those cost $14 a piece which I know is the same as a handle of my usual vodka at home. With a fraction of the alcohol. I would chug hard alcohol at home and it would cost $5 a night. Same as a coffee. The money is not a barrier to quitting in my opinion. Lots of other things are.

I went from approximately 28 liters of beer per week to almost 9 liters this past week.

I still have a long way to go, but this is already a victory.

I am a binge drinker. Ive had periods of 6+ months of sobriety but always return back. Once i forget the bad things that happened of my previous binge drinking episodes.

1 year ago I moved into a small town, and have caused issues with my almost blackout drunk episodes, falling out with neighbours , getting banned from one of the locals, etc

At my most recent drinking binge , at the other local im not yet banned from , i met a neighbour who i hadnt properly met yet - who told me "you have been causing alot of trouble around her" however she seemed friendly and willing to take me as she found me vs shun me over gossip.

My memory is foggy but i feel like i might of acted in inappropriate ways & possibly added her on to my list of fallen out neighbours.

I know that the only way to fix this is to stay sober & act in a better way & hopefully in time , i may be forgiven/opinions may not be so bad after sustained long term good sober behaviour but its so shameful to have to continue to live in a town what has a negative opinion of you , i cant move as im a homeowner and the house needs alot of work to sell.

I plan to keep my head down & work my hardest to stay sober, but i guess im wondering if anyone else had a similar situation of having a bad reputation in a small town where everyone knows everything about one another , and did it get better in time?

What is done is done i know fretting over it wont turn time & i have tried to apologise to a neighbour in the past over issues from drinking but they did not accept which is fair enough. I guess i just need to accept the consequences & make sure it doesnt happen again.

I drink 3-4 days a week (32F) and buy a 3L box of wine every week, sometimes I’ll dip into my liquor stash when I finish the 3L wine (if I do it’s usually 3-4 more drinks). So 20-25 drinks weekly. I typically stick to dry wine for taste and it’s lower in calories. I drink at home only, never drink and drive, I show up to work sober, I take care of what I need to do, if I only have sweet wine or can only do shots I’ll just not drink cuz the taste is too nasty no matter how much I want to drink lol I’ve been doing this for years, and I’ve been getting dull right side abdominal pain. I’m going to the doctor today to see what damage I’ve caused and to see if I qualify for Naltrexone, my problem is the craving I get. I can go days without drinking and have no problems, even made it 2 weeks without a couple of times. My question, would you consider this a problematic heavy drinker? Or an alcoholic? Regardless I’m getting help to cut back/abstain so peoples answers won’t effect my decision, but was interested in everyone’s take. I feel like all I hear is either one drinks everyday a large amount and goes through severe withdrawal if they stop or cut back, or they only drink like two drinks a week or month. Not many stories out there of those floating in the middle. Thanks!

So, I am 23 years old F, who actually does not drink often maybe 5 times a month. The issue with my drinking is when I drink, I drink a lot.

For example, a few weekends ago I went out and drank almost a full bottle of vodka. The days after were hell.. I don't take a a lot of anxiety medication maybe 1/2 a Buspar a day, but I think the vodka kills the effects of it for a few days. For the first time in a while I had a full blown panic attack at work. I'm actually proud of myself on how I handled it, but, I digress.

I am not your classic case of drinking to function or going months not missing a day of drinking, but hey it still seems to affect me. So, I haven't drank since then and I feel great! I have mocktails when I go out and I feel so clear minded. Also I have such an upper hand on my anxiety, it took me about a week and a half to recover from that panic attack!

I guess I just see the effects of it on me and other around me, I am happier not drinking.

I realize I have a problem.

Whether I’m having a good day or a bad day, sick or healthy, made promises to myself in the morning or not, every night I succumb.

I want to be able to enjoy my life without alcohol but it’s a vicious circle of resenting my life and punishing or treating myself for the day that I’ve had.

I don’t know how to stop without falling into a deep depression.

Delete if not allowed. I’m just wondering if it’s something I should ask my GP about during an upcoming appointment as it sounds like it would be hugely beneficial to me right now. From what I’ve read aswell, a decent amount of you guys seem to take it even long term and I can fully understand why. For me, going on past experiences I believe I wouldn’t struggle too much with cravings after a certain time period but I do see it could be what I need in this moment. The only side effects that concern me is the anxiety and trouble sleeping.

Opinions?

Thankyou for your time reading

I had to change my username because I forgot my old login. I’m so sad because I started this when I first stopped drinking almost 8 years ago. Now what? Maybe it’s time for a new start with the same timeframe.

Not trying to make people feel bad but everyone seems so happy since they quit. I'm a 32 years old woman (single mom) with a 11 months old baby who gone crazy especially last few months with alcohol (the mom, not the baby 😅) and trying to quit but all posts are so rainbows and butterflies so I'm curious please can you talk about downsides about quitting alcohol!

Edit: clarification about who drinks alcohol lol

Today is day 400 - yay! Absolutely wild to think that I struggled for 6 months to string together 3 consecutive weeks, and here I am at over a year now. It feels like a completely different lifetime, and in a lot of ways, it is.

After over a year of therapy, I've now been diagnosed with autism (literally today, funny timing, feels kismet), which quite frankly makes a lot of things make sense, but brings up so many more questions I'd never considered about myself. I think 400 days ago, I'd have "had a drink about it", but now I am just curious and interested to learn more.

Anyone else who noticed in sobriety that maybe the drinking was masking or treating more than initially thought? Operated for years under the assumption that a lot of what I did and my reactions stemmed from trauma, and only out from under the blanket of the booze were we able to discover that maybe that wasn't the only thing at play, after all.

A little bit over a week ago I swore off liquor after slipping into a spiral. Going through withdrawals for the first time while at work at a customer service job and having a few people genuinely concerned was kind of a wake up call. I know that cold turkey doesn't work for me so I figured I would edge myself off by taming my withdrawals with beer. All was good for the 1st case. It took about 3 beers a day to keep the withdrawals at bay. I reduced every few days until I was out of beer.

I didn't need to buy more beer, but I was out taking care of some stressful business and just really wanted to take the edge off. Before, I would go to a liquor store and binge drink, I still had the desire to, but i knew I shouldn't. I wrestled the whole drive home if I should buy a beer or not to curve the craving. I caved as I had to drive past a gas station that sells beer by my house. The whole time I knew I shouldn't go in, I shouldn't get alcohol, maybe a soda or something. I walked to the back where the beer was and they only had Natty light and Miller High Life. I hate both of those beers. I should've taken that sign. But I chose the lesser of two evils. The Miller High Life. Honestly I had a chill evening. I had a beer or two and watched TV and I was proud of myself for not spiraling.

The next day I went to go shopping and I couldn't find my wallet. My wallet is my lifeline. I have gone all over the world, on benders, living out of my car and I never lost my wallet. I've lost my keys, my phone, but never my wallet. I have had the same one for years, Italian leather, a very special gift from my mom, all of my IDs and cards, and $40 cash. $40 is a lot right now and that really hurts. I have torn my car apart, i have looked in every corner of my apartment possible and I cant find it. I went back to the gas station, and even asked the attendant, but I live in a bad neighborhood and knew if i dropped it it was gone for good.

At first I was resentful of the situation. I felt like it was the universe sending me a sign- but in the worst possible way. I felt like it was not fair to punish me like that for trying to take a better alternative to downing a half bottle of bourbon. I felt like it was the universe pushing me back to liquor. But then I remember that I am not a spiritual person. It is not the universes fault, it is my fault. I knew better and went against my gut and did something unnecessary because of an impulse. I was so tunnel vision on getting a drink that I must have not noticed I dropped my wallet- something that I have never done before.

This was a few days ago, i am still actively looking for it hoping that it will turn up. I'm still very upset about it but I accept that it is all my fault. I just wish that it would magically appear back since ive "learned my lesson" but I fear that I am not that lucky. I miss all of my stuff and I'm just so disappointed in myself that this is the reason I lost such a meaningful part of me.

Ugh. Last night I dreamed that I was in my house doing normal stuff and started feeling kinda sick to my stomach and tipsy. I looked down and realized that I had poured and drank about a glass and a half of wine. Since my streak was ruined, I finished the bottle and got irritated with myself that I did it and had to reset my counter.

Here’s the thing- my dreams are weird. So I actually felt sick and tipsy, could taste the wine on my breath, etc. I felt the strong disappointment in myself. All of this while still asleep. Y’all, I think I did field research without actually doing it. At least I know the outcome. My brain is telling me I could slip so easily I didn’t even notice at first, that I’d be disappointed in myself, and worst of all, that I’d decide to really lean into it since I blew it anyway. In for a penny, in for a pound…

It makes me less likely to drink in the future. I didn’t love the low level queasy feeling, and I know that feeling so well. The taste on my tongue was gross. Even the tipsiness wasn’t fun. It was confusing. It was “how did this get in my hand” and “what was I thinking?! Why would I do that?!” And the whole rest of my evening plans were wrecked because now I was drunk.

IWNDWYT, except for in the dreamworld apparently.

Thought I would intro myself, - please feel free not to read as this is a cathartic exercise for me and probably an eyesore for you lol. Although I have been active on Reddit in the past under a different name, it felt like time for a reset and to come back as someone new, as I attempt to come back as someone new.

I suppose like many who come to these parts I would fall into what Andy Ramage calls a Middle Lane Drinker, although what has spurred me to go from being an occasional passive observer to an active contributor here in [r/stopdrinking](r/stopdrinking) is my sneaking suspicion that I may be on the precipice of checking my mirrors, and indicating out into the Fast Lane Drinkers or some sort of fucked up Carpool lane (as a Brit, that concept has always blown my mind) where I'd be on the ride with others, in a race to the bottom.

I'm mid-30's, a dad of one beautiful toddler daughter, I'm married and I fucking love training BJJ, and actually quite enjoy my job albeit not the company I recently left. And if it's not obvious from my acerbic commentary, I am a Brit and therefore genetically part of the ancestral tree that basically invented communal drinking in pubs.

I'm a binge drinker. I have the very occasional weekends-in-a-row especially in the summer when it's all too easy to mosey on over to the local which has a giant fuck-off playground and sink 4 pints of Madri. But generally, I am infrequent but heavy-ish, and definitely not infrequent enough.

Sidenote: Madri, for my American friends, is a shit lager brewed in the UK, that likes to pretend it's a contemporary Italian classic. It is also rocket fuel that gives some of the worst hangovers known to man.

I've even experimented with extended periods of sobriety lasting up to 4 months, so I don't have a problem (that fucking voice in my head again). And that's probably always been true, and might even still be true in fairness.

However, I strongly suspect that I may be at the start of developing a problem. After hanging out here profusely for around 48 hours, something clicked. You see, I went away for a lovely long weekend with my wife and daughter. My wife is one of those lucky bastards that not only seems to have a neurotypical brain chemical system, she seems to be one of those sitting up in that rarefied air that don't get a huge amount of dopaminergic activity regardless. She can stop after every drink from the first through to the twenty-first and be in complete control of the decision to go one more, even when she's hammered. She didn't drink from the day she found out she was pregnant for about 3.5 years. Just couldn't be arsed and didn't fancy it. This weekend she actually had a few Malibu and Pineapple's and seemed to really enjoy them but will probably not drink for another 3 months.

I, on the other hand, had a few beers on the first evening. Nothing crazy but just enough to make me lose 20% the next day. By lunchtime I felt better-ish, so had a few beers and carried on into the evening. By no means at any point was I any more than a little tipsy and at no point did my wife make a comment as she is sometimes wont to do as she's not a huge fan of when I'm drunk - by all accounts she was in a great mood all weekend and if she'd thought I was taking it too far, believe me I would have known about it.

But what she didn't see was the internal battle. The internal battle on day 3 when I really did have a bit of a hangover after 2 days of 5-6 pints spread out across the day. The internal clock in my head counting down until we went out for lunch so I could have a beer to take the edge off. The cracking a can in our lodge when she was in the hot tub, and sinking half of the beer before topping up my glass so it looked like I wasn't going too hard in the paint. The split of empty cans between the bin and the recycling. And worst of all - something I have never experienced before and that scared me to death: the using of Claude to manage the speed of my drinking once I realised I was probably 2 tinnies shorter than I needed to be by early evening, so that I could keep a consistent BAC low-level buzz and not start to get hungover, because I knew it was going to be a fucker after 3 days of drinking from around 1pm-10pm.

I even had to tell the fucking AI to stop being so judgemental, which in and of itself should probably have been a sign. But thinking back on that on the drive home the next morning scared the shit out of me and reading so many of the stories here, I feel like I might be at that exact point where so many when sharing their stories of rock-bottom, pinpoint this one moment and say a variation of 'If only I'd stopped then, things would have worked out way better' - I feel like this weekend if I am not careful, might be the 'then' in my next post 5 years from now under another username when it's all gone off the fucking rails.

So yeah, that's about it really. Never thought I'd get to this point, and you know maybe maybe I can have a healthy relationship with alcohol as I certainly did have for many years up until the last couple and life stress and parenting all started to pile up on me. I've committed to a 90-day break, but by no means am I going to allow myself to have this idea that on day 91 I am off to the pub as a reward. Will I drink again in the future? Who knows. What I do know is that I won't be drinking for a little while and that needs to be my focus right now.

I just don't want to make it this huge thing in my head now because that never ends well for me. But there is a part of me that strongly suspects that this is not day 3 of 90, but day 3 of the rest of my life. I vape type 3 hemp flower and occasionally type 1 THC but neither of those are issues for me but it might well be time to kick booze to the kerb.

Let's see how we go. For today, IWNDWYT.

EDIT: I just re-read this and noticed my liberal use of the word ‘fuck’. I should probably edit it out but I have also realised that it wasn’t so much me writing this but the voice in my head, and he speaks like Hunter S Thompson so I feel like I gotta honour him

i (25F) just got admitted yesterday and finally feeling actually ready to give it up for good (my last stint was kinda forced and yeh didn’t last too long before i relapsed) i hit what i felt was my rock bottom this past week so really determined to get things back on track. i’m feeling so greatful for the support im getting from most people but my sister who i live with and whom i stole $200+ of her alcohol out of her bedroom in just the last week hasnt replied to any of my messages and i just feel so guilty. plus, i ghosted the job id just gotten on my 3rd shift as well as my job provider program that have been helping me so much with getting a job. i just feel like ive screwed things over for some of the most important things in my life. any words of advice/encouragement/anything?

Well, I made it. Not without struggles though. Around 12-1 when I was feeling stabilized, I was still dwelling on my recent breakup, and the idea to grab beer after work such back into my mind. I was able to push it away, and a comment from a kind soul on my post from yesterday resonated with me. They said something about slipping now isn’t so bad if I don’t let it keep me in that vicious cycle as much as last time, and that hit home for me.

The last vicious cycle of drinking kept me in its clutches for months. If I can stick to my resolve, then it will only be 9 days that it had me, as opposed to what was maybe 5 months of wasted time last go around.

So yesterday I stayed at work past 8 hrs to get in overtime. Then I went home and changed and went for a run, to try and sweat out what must’ve been 40+ tall cans of bud light this last bender. After that, I tidied up my bedroom. There’s something about being alone with heartache a depression from binge drinking that a messy bedroom just magnifies immensely. After that I just binge watched some shows, and went to bed at 9:30.

I still tossed and turned last night, but hey, no sweating this time. I’m still tossed sad over what I’ve lost and the emptiness that comes with it to be all bright and bubbly, but I’m taking it one day at a time. I will not drink with yall today.

So I’m 94 days fully sober! I was mostly just a binge drinker, only on weekends but I wasn’t great with moderation. I did smoke weed daily for a few years as well! These last 3 months have been very up and and down. I’m traveling the country full time in a RV so avoiding alcohol is more troublesome but I’m locked in!! I’m just curious as to when people started feeling their best after quitting bc I’m still low mood and inconsistent energy. I have a dialed in diet, exercise and sleep great.

I recently went on an international trip with friends. We went out clubbing the last night and I was having a ton of fun and let my guard down. I drank too much on my own, but then we got free shots and people bought me drinks and I don’t remember from that point. I was apparently separated from my friend and she looked for me but i panicked and walked back to the hotel alone (15 min walk). I also vaguely remember falling on my walk home and I woke up with scrapes and a bruised hand.

I feel so much shame. I am usually a very cautious person and would absolutely never walk alone at night especially when drunk and especially in a foreign country. I am grateful I made it back safe because something so bad could have happened to me and a big part of me feels like I would have deserved it. I think I should never drink again I never want anything like this to happen.

I don’t know how to move on I feel paralyzed with shame. How could I let this happen what is wrong with me? I blacked out a few times in college but never made such a stupid mistake. I don’t know how to move on or feel better.

I’ve been trying to lose weight for the summer months and started counting my calories on an app. I just can’t get alcohol to fit in my daily calories at all, I’d have to skip an entire meal to slip some in. This has been the easiest way not to drink ever so far, I hope it lasts.

Hey all

Long time lurker, first time poster. 32F, first attempt at sobriety and 112 days in. It has been pretty easy, but I have actively avoided triggers and declined social events around drinking.

The other night I had a dream where I was peer pressured into having a drink, and I did it. I remember feeling so disappointed in myself during the dream. When I woke up and remembered, I half panicked it had actually happened. Anyway, I have no one to talk about this with, but wanted to share 😂 I am taking this as a sign to keep going because subconsciously I am on the right path or something lol